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We have all heard of the helicopter parent, one who is hovering over their child to make sure they are doing everything right, and now there is talk of a bulldozer parent who wants to remove any adversity from their child’s life, hoping for a continuous state of smooth sailing!
While we all want our students to be happy and stress-free, we also understand how important it is for our students to build resilience and establish coping mechanisms of their own during their time here at Stony Brook. As members of Family Services and Support, we are looking for a more subtle, nuanced way for families to support their students, helping them to build confidence and independence. So how about being a "Salt Shaker" parent?
A salt shaker involves a sprinkling of salt to enhance the recipe, but we all know too much salt can overpower and ruin a great dish! Our metaphor of being a Salt Shaker parent means sprinkling your child with support, questions, and love in a gentle, subtle way. As family members, we hope for the best for our children, but coming in too strongly with extensive advice or interrogations can be overwhelming to students and may cause them to shut down.
Here are some ideas for Salt Shaker parenting questions:
- How have classes been going?
- What kind of clubs does Stony Brook have that you might be interested in?
- Is college studying different from high school studying?
When they respond, try to just LISTEN, without giving immediate advice. They will appreciate your attention and trust!
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