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“Here is a new message: Those (‘fitting in’ and ‘pouring out’) are not the only alternatives! We do not need to pour ourselves out raw and blind, or go back to fitting in. There is a third alternative, a different way forward, a further stage.”
-Eugene Gendlin from “Fitting In, Pouring Out and Relating”
The FORGE training program is studying and experimenting with how Focusing can help us enter this further stage of RELATING, which we long for individually and urgently need collectively. We are articulating the principles and relational skills of interacting with others—speaking directly to the other from our felt experience in the moment—taking the other in without losing touch with ourselves. We warmly invite you to join us in this venture even if you haven't participated in the previous module.
This 2-hour, 6-session module is both didactic and experiential. In the first hour we will explore the conceptual underpinnings of RELATING. For the second hour, we will practice relating as a group. This module focuses on three of the cornerstones of RELATING: pausing, listening and speaking. Like breathing, these elements are natural life-generating functions, yet they are profoundly complex. They require thoughtfulness and skill.
This Second Module Will Explore:
• Pausing is an earmark of the Focusing approach. We will explore the intricacy and importance of moments of individual and group silence.
• Finding structures that foster room for the individuals to pause and find the more of what they are saying without losing the momentum of the conversation.
• Listening to understand rather than to reply.
• Listening to the “I,” the “YOU” and the “US.” The trained awareness of group process can prepare us to listen not only to the individual but also to the thrust of the interaction.
• Speaking from our immediate experience not only about it.
• Speaking to and with the others directly, rather than speaking at them.
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