Edition Number Six
Hi Everyone,

It’s beginning to really look and feel like Chrismukah and t his holiday window gives me the chance to reflect on my growth; examine where I could expand; and take specific inventory of the abundance, generosity and goodness that fills my glass.  I’m grateful to spend the last few weeks of the year celebrating with family I love, friends like fam, and, yes, my husband! We are going away, alone, and I can not wait. He and I make sure to get away whenever we can but I know we are not in the majority. I have friends who don’t have the luxury of trusted, overnight childcare (i.e. my amazing mother); or time; or perhaps the desire to be away from their kids. Not me. I need time away from my beloved Karuna in order to return to him present, available and replenished. And the time spent with my husband makes us better parents, period. For me, a little absence does make the heart grow fonder.

But what about you? Will you be going away or back “home” for the holidays? Where is home for you, emotionally? As you settle into or revisit your rituals and traditions, some of which may or may not include family of origins, I hope you administer lots of TLC and self-care in order to stay healthy, fulfilled, and happy. 

In that spirit, I hope you take a break for yourself, and enjoy reading Edition #6. Better yet, find a mama date and register for the very first TBD Mama brunch and fireside chat on Saturday, January 12 in NYC! If I already know you, I’d love to see you there, and if I don’t know you yet, then I look forward to meeting you and sharing some #realtalk over supremely delicious food. 

Gift yourself, or a mama friend, and buy your ticket today!

In gratitude,
Carrie
@tbd_mama
LISTEN: LOYALTY HAS ITS LIMITS
This episode of the Broad Experience is really a two-part podcast. The first half contemplates this: When is the right time to leave your job? Especially when so much of your identity can feel inextricably linked to your job's title? It’s not surprising that many women experience ambivalence about leaving, a word that in and of itself connotes abandonment, or even failure. I enjoyed how this discussion led me to this healthy reminder: We can have loyalties to the individuals and companies we work for but must demonstrate loyalties to our (best) selves first.

AND; the second part: Should you cry at work? Is your email tone “OK?” True story: When I worked at Blah Blah media company I began incorporating the exclamation point, frequently, into all my emails after I was told, or rather scolded by a senior exec who told me my “email tone sounded too abrupt.” As if email can talk. And yet, it does, and it is exhausting and exasperating to walk the communication tightrope in the office. I have been on both ends of this emotions-in-the-workplace spectrum from putting up a stony (and inauthentic) front in management meetings to melting down in the bathroom over a perceived dig from a boss. The bottom line is this: Stay in your own emotional lane, if you will, don't jump to assumptions about what someone thinks about you and acknowledge that it’s OK to choose to share, or not to share, your emotions at work. What do you think? Email me. I want to know.
LA FAMILIA:
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT WEIGHT
Telling your child they need to lose or gain weight is a really enjoyable and easy thing to do, said no parent, EVER. But, the reality is we exist in these miraculous containers, our bodies, and it’s essential to talk about them. Their power. Their weaknesses. Their abilities. But how to talk about this in a constructive yet honest way? Lying to our children about their bodies can do long term damage, despite a short-term good intention. Dr. Bronwyn offers some very practical tips to stay body positive while having the tough conversations.
FEMME-INISM: MOMS IN THE HOUSE
It's beginning to look a lot like...a Democratic house! Case in point: Elected mamas making waves and coming together to create more family friendly policies. While I don't believe in trickle down economics I am a big believer in trickle down leadership. If the Big House works towards establishing and normalizing a more family friendly work environment then smaller ones can more easily follow their bold lead and example.
FOR THE LITTLES: BIOS THEY'LL LOVE
This selection comes from a Publisher Weekly veteran who started this stellar albeit lo-fi book reviewing site, "Shelf Awareness." This list requires a lot of scrolling but includes eclectic and surprising finds including the imaginative Pocket Bios series (pictured), featuring historical icons from Gandhi and Cleopatra to Marie Curie and Coco Chanel.
TRY TOGETHER: CALMING APPS
The family that breathes together....does something good together. I plan on checking out the "My First Yoga" app since breath work with Karuna has actually worked to help manage meltdowns - his and mine. I’d be curious to hear how the “Take A Chill” app works for angsty teens. How incredible would it be to scroll together, rather than alone, through mindfulness
tips that help us, dare-I-say, communicate?
FOR YOU AND THEM: COZY SLIPPERS
I’ve always been a barefoot-while-inside kinda gal with a major aversion to socks but there is a time and a place for a cozy slipper. Especially since I’ll be inside, too often, for the long, long winter ahead. With children. Here’s a diverse list to consider for both you and the minis.
FOR THE HOSTESS: CHIC SURPRISES
Town&Country does a great job at presenting a traditional-slash-non-traditional mix of gifts to spruce up your hostess gift game. This varietal list includes cheeky coasters; chic agendas; whimsical cookbooks; a Bluetooth friendly turntable and plenty of options in silver and gold. ‘Tis the season to sparkle, after all!
WHAT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT:
THE MOTHER'S RIGHT TO LIFE
 I was just talking about this with another mama the other day. Here's a NYT follow up to their article I shared in the last edition about alarming U.S.maternal mortality rates. Having heard too many stories from mamas who suffered, struggled and almost died in the delivery room we must ask ourselves this: Why does the mother come second? Let's assume we all want our babies to live but is it so shameful to say, "I want to live too!" We are not disposable “vessels” for childbirth. We matter. Does a healthy baby and a healthy mama have to be mutually exclusive? I don't think so. We deserve honesty, competence and compassion at a time when our bodies are at their most vulnerable. The ask starts with us though, one mama at a time.
Join TBD Mama at members' club, Habitas, for a very special brunch and fireside chat with Dr. Alexandra Sacks, reproductive psychiatrist and co-author of the forthcoming book, "What No One Tells You: A Guide to your Emotions from Pregnancy to Motherhood."

Note the " to motherhood" part which means we'll discuss the ENTIRE journey, not just the beginning!

Listen, learn and share with each other while enjoying delicious seasonal fare prepared by
the in-house chef, inspiring #realtalk, and connections with other like-minded mamas. New, expecting and anyone who wants to support other "TBD m amas" are welcome. Space at Habitas is limited so buy your ticket today to guarantee a spot!