Edition Number Two
Hi Everyone,

I started TBD Mama because paths to motherhood are as varied as are our personalities, careers, families and lives. While I for one love to have a “plan,” I am reminded daily that most experiences can’t be arranged or activated according to “plans” at all. Plans can be interrupted or derailed altogether and it is often when they do that a dream can emerge.

So while my plan was to create a bi-weekly, round-up of mom-adjacent items that resonate with me as a mama, a woman and a reader, my dream is to co-create a larger, powerful community together with you. A rich community of diverse women who are also mothers, or would like to be mothers, or are simply individuals who want to participate in a larger cultural narrative about what it means and how it works (or doesn’t) to be a mama right now. Together, TBD Mama will work toward creating new paths and solutions as a powerful group. So if you're interested in change and know anyone else who is too, I'd be very grateful if you shared this newsletter with them. Thanks so much for your time and attention -- I know both are precious!

XO
Carrie
LISTEN: "AMBITION"

This podcast is about different types of ambition and how it’s not one size fits all. Are you a high-achiever, flex-lifer or opt-out kinda woman? Do you relinquish or hold onto control at home, at work, at both, perhaps exchanging one for the other? As a mom, I have morphed from totally crazy, triple-A control freak to, like, a B-minus control freak, to some days being a Namaste-kind-of-being. This podcast gets really real about the choices we make around our own personal kind of ambition. Disclaimer: While there are lengthy ads throughout, the takeaways are worth it.
LA FAMILIA: MANAGING MELTDOWNS  
My son’s tantrums are unpredictable, messy and make me wish there was a 911 app for meltdowns, preferably with a prescription for Xanax. I liked these practical, tactical tips on how to unpack a child’s emotional backpack.
FEMME-INISM: “HIMPATHY”
What lies at the root of this cultural impulse, or pathology? Vox's insightful conversation with Kate Manne, the Cornell philosopher who coined the phrase, on why we are conditioned as a society to sympathize with him first.


GO SEE WITH THE LITTLES:
ART SHOWS THIS FALL
 Kid-friendly shows with bonus, museum-adjacent ideas and treats. P.S. and this is definitely an adjacency, FAO Schwartz returns this fall to NYC! So if that trip to MoMA fails, there is a solid
Plan B.
BUY FOR THE LITTLES: TO CONSIDER
Somebody’s already shopping for Christmas. My mother thinks Christmas shopping is a year-long event! This list anticipates 2018 favorites and includes a bi-lingual “potty dance baby,” a game that combines unicorns and, um, poop, (are you intrigued?) several coding games and a rescue pet toy that transforms a sad ball of fur into a faux-slash-real pet to love. Oh, there’s also something that promises to transform an iPad into a “ hands-on learning tool.” Hmmm…
BUY FOR YOU: RETINOL ALTERNATIVES
My face has always looked like a map of my insides: When I am joyful I tend to radiate exactly that; clarity and light, but when I’m hangry, overwhelmed or hormonally imbalanced, well, let’s just say my skin is a battlefield and I’m not winning. Also, that pregnancy-glow just never happened to my face. Hence, whilst prepping for or baking a mini-human it can be challenging to substitute retinoids with something more au natural. Thankfully, this is where ancient Ayurvedic wisdom comes in, courtesy of the formidable, multi-tasking Bakuchi seed. Honorable mention not on this list but a personal fave of mine is the “Bakuchi skin brightening oil” from Pratima in Soho.
BUY FOR YOU TOO: RAINBOOTS TO CONSIDER
After 15 years in NY, I’m often in denial that I don’t live in LA anymore and actually need proper rain boots. Winter parkas, hats and heat-tech accoutrements: Check, check, check. But for some reason my inner, Southern-Cali girl can’t get on-board with accepting that. It. Will. Rain. Thank goddesses for high-low options: Check out the $29 (chic!) version at Asos.
HALLOWEEN INSPO: DIY IF YOU DARE
I can’t believe I’m sharing an article from Country Living since I am neither country nor crafty but I am in AWE at these DIY ideas if you are uber-ambitious like that. I might just have to attempt the adorbs Madeline costume or Ghost poncho. Sorry, Karuna!
WHAT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT:
MOTHERHOOD MISSED
Most paths to motherhood are TBD. In certain circles it’s applauded to be “childfree” by choice (as it should be) but what about the women who are childless by circumstance and not by choice at all? Surely their stories deserve our support too? This article previews a relatable book of personal essays that open up and share about the multitudes and complexities of motherhood missed. These stories remind me that paths to motherhood are neither a biological given nor birthright but that it is possible to simultaneously grieve one’s circumstantially childless path and f ind peace.