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Our season of judgment and love
BY RABBI HELAYNE SHALHEVET
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Ani l'dodi v'dodi li.
"I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine." These words from Shir HaShirim, the Song of Songs, appear on our ketubot, in our artwork and jewelry, in teachings across the Jewish world and across the centuries. The whole of Shir HaShirim is a love story — two people chasing one another through vineyards and fields of blossoming flowers, a story our tradition reads as a metaphor for the love between God and the people of Israel. Its most famous line comes in Chapter 6: ani l'dodi v'dodi li.
Love may seem like an odd theme for this moment on the calendar. Isn't this the season of judgment, not the season of love? It is both. We have just entered Elul, the month that leads us to Rosh Hashanah, which brings with it the hardest task of the year: cheshbon hanefesh, the accounting of the soul. It is the deep look inward — what could have been done better, what we wish hadn't happened, what it is about ourselves that, if we're honest, we don't love.
Jewish tradition maps this work clearly: the soul-searching, the teshuvah that follows it, and finally the celebration of the world's birth on Rosh Hashanah. What it doesn't spell out, unless you go looking, is the most important piece of all — not that we judge ourselves, but how.
It's easy to judge harshly. Many of us were taught that harshness is the whole point of this season — leave no stone unturned, dredge up what we'd rather forget, make sure nothing escapes the accounting. Thoroughness and honesty matter, but there's a danger here: if the judgment is only harsh, it shortchanges the process. Something that could be deeply meaningful turns ugly.
This is where those beautiful words return. Ani l'dodi v'dodi li is woven into the name of the month itself. Elul is spelled Aleph-Lamed-Vav-Lamed. Centuries ago our sages noticed those four letters form an acronym: ani l'dodi v'dodi li. Ever since, that phrase has served as the light and guide through this season.
So how should we judge ourselves in this season? The light guiding our judgment comes from the very name of the month — we judge ourselves with love. Without self-love, this work cannot succeed. The goal isn't to emerge from the process riddled with guilt and self-hate, but fulfilled, carrying that love with us. With just enough of it, love becomes the thing that carries each of us in the right direction — all the way to the gates of the new year.
| | Your guide to the High Holidays | | The three Torahs in our ark are dressed in white for the Days of Awe. | |
The Days of Awe are growing near, so here's what you need to know about Temple Beth Emeth's Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services.
TWO WAYS TO GET READY
Get mentally prepared for the Days of Awe by attending our annual S'lichot study, supper and service on the Saturday before Rosh Hashanah. Then, stop by the next morning for a bagel and pitch in to help get the temple ready for the big weekend ahead. Also, Phil Paskowitz is looking for ushers for Yom Kippur.
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S'lichot
study & service
Saturday, Sept. 5
6 PM
Bring a dairy dinner and join us for study and prayer to get set for the holidays.
Click here for flyer
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Help set up for the holidays
Sunday, Sept. 6
9 AM
Come help prepare the temple for Rosh Hashanah. Bagels & cream cheese courtesy of the Men's Club.
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WHEN AND WHERE ARE SERVICES?
High Holiday services will be in our sanctuary at 52 Mount Sinai Ave. in Mount Sinai. And every moment will be available on Zoom. Here's the schedule.
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ROSH HASHANAH
Friday, Sept. 11
7:30 PM
Saturday, Sept. 12
10 AM
Join us at Knapp Beach in Belle Terre after services for Tashlich
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KOL
NIDRE
Sunday, Sept. 20
7:30 PM
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YOM
KIPPUR
Monday, Sept. 21
10 AM / 3 PM
Break separates morning and afternoon services, which include Yizkor, followed by Neilah, the concluding service
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WHERE DO WE CHECK IN?
This year, we've set up a check-in station at tables just outside the temple, where for the first time, we'll be checking High Holidays tickets. There is still no charge for the parents or dependent children of congregants, but this year, we've printed and distributed tickets to temple families. A trained, professional, armed security guard hired by the temple will be at that table. Nonmembers who want to buy tickets may reach out to Ellen Kushner via email (tbe.mtsinai.communications@gmail.com).
Inside the temple, you can pick up prayer books, pledge cards and information about any honors you may have. And if services are underway, please keep your voices down. Our ushers will help you find seats.
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WHAT ELSE IS NEW? OUR PRAYER BOOK
This will be the first year we're using the Reform movement's newest prayer book for the High Holidays — Mishkan Hanefesh.
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MUSICAL GUESTS
We have a great tradition of enhancing our High Holiday services with extraordinary music. We're happy to welcome back Stuart Markus of Gathering Time, Daniel Cainer and the cantor's son, Alex Green, along with our wonderful choir. And, of course, we'll have several congregational shofar blowers.
HOW DO I GET TO THE BEACH FOR TASHLICH?
First, try to remember to bring some bread to toss in the Sound at our brief Tashlich service at beautiful Knapp Beach in Belle Terre immediately after Rosh Hashanah morning services. And the best way to find the beach is to plug 1 Seaside Drive, Port Jefferson into your GPS. It's a private home, but when you reach it, go down the hill until you reach the beach.
REMEMBER THE HUNGRY
Please remember to bring your unexpired nonperishable food donation any time during the holidays — bring one can or fill a whole bag, every little bit you give helps feed Long Island’s hungry.
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Our Book of Remembrance
As the High Holidays approach, we are once again creating a printed Book of Remembrance to help us memorialize our loved ones. If you haven't replied to the message you received from the cantor, please do so by Sunday, Sept. 6.
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Shabbat
shalom
Please join Cantor Lisa Ann Wharton and the High Holidays Choir at 7:30 p.m. Friday evening for a very special Shabbat service. The choir will be giving us a preview of some of the wonderful music they'll be providing during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Joining the cantor on the bimah will be Phil Paskowitz of the Ritual, Tikkun Olam and Adult Education Committees. Jackie Silverstein and Joan Zuckerman have adopted this Shabbat and will be hosting refreshments after the service.
YAHRZEITS: We will be remembering Martha Feldstein, Herbert Horn, Frane Helner, Elaine Leventhal, Donald Gorman, Clara Schwartz Rubin, Sandra Arlene Wenig, Benjamin Lasky, Frances Sandler and Julien Kraus.
ZOOM
CLICK HERE TO JOIN
Meeting ID:
878 6272 3645
Passcode: 482013
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IN THE TORAH
By Rabbi Helayne Shalhevet
Ki Tavo, Deuteronomy
26:1– 29:8
Moses instructs the people about the laws of first fruits and of tithing. He reminds the people that they are God’s chosen people and that they, in turn, have chosen God.
What do we learn from this portion? Here we learn the importance of giving to those in need, a lesson that dates back to ancient days. Why do we live this lesson? Because we are God’s chosen people and, through acts of charity and lovingkindness, we, therefore, choose God.
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ADOPT-A-SHABBAT UPDATE
We need more of you to help
Thanks to all who added their names to the online sign-up doc to host onegs in the coming Jewish year by Monday's deadline, but we still have more than 20 open dates. Though the deadline has passed, we need more of the temple families who stepped up and adopted a Shabbat this year to do it again. And the top priority is filling the October and November dates above.
It's quick and easy. Just click on the link below to open it for editing. Use a computer, if you can. If you need to use a mobile device, you might have to right-click and request the desktop version to be able to edit. You'll immediately see which dates are open and which have been taken. Just add your name and mark the date "Booked."
Just click here, and please make your choice.
If you'd prefer email, send your choice to tbe.mtsinai.newsletter@gmail.com and we'll plug it in if that date is still available.
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Need a lift to temple?
The UJA on the Way subsidized ride service may be able to get you to Temple Beth Emeth for services or social events for a nominal fee if you're unable to drive yourself.
READ MORE
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Temple family news
BY JOAN PERRIN
Wishing a mazel tov to Sima and Phil Paskowitz, who celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary last week.
Wishing a refuah sheleimah to several congregants in need of a complete healing. Feel better, Ellen Kushner, Faye Robins, Robin Mertz and Bonnie Fear.
Please email Joan Perrin at perrinjoan@aol.comwith any special news you'd like to share with your temple family. She'd like to pass along your birthdays, anniversaries, new jobs, retirements, family milestones, requests for healing and news of personal losses.
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