Kids Have Needs ... and So Does Hubby (Unplug when possible)
December 11, 2019
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Gena Suarez
Two Words to Remember
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Todd Wilson
Smartphone vs. Relationships
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Sherri Selligson
Unplug with Your Spouse
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Dara Halydier
Worst Day Ever
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Two Words to Remember
Hey Mama,
I know you've got a lot on your plate, and EVERYONE seems to have needs. But I want to come alongside and encourage you to just unplug when possible. Maybe it sounds counter-productive but get away from all the technology and just be there, PRESENT, for your kids, but especially for your husband. He needs YOU, Mama. You might be their Mama, but before all of that, you were HIS wife.
So smile, kiss him, love on him. He loves you no matter what. He’s a major part of how you are able to stay home and raise your children. And homeschool. What a good man! He's a keeper. So be available for him . . . because he's certainly been available for you and the kids.
Not sure how to unplug in this crazy busy life? Here are some ideas from
The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine.
And one thought from Todd Wilson, The Familyman, for your husband (but you can read it, too). . .
Just remember two words today, Mama. . .
Be available.
Kids need you: be available.
Hubby needs you: be available.
A friend calls with a crisis: be available.
God is showing you areas to change: be available and hear Him. Apply His Word.
Take it an hour at a time, a minute at a time. God will walk this day with you; He will never leave. He asks us this: to be available to His leading.
And you are doing fantastic, Mama. Keep walking, and keep it balanced. You are such an available Mama! Your kids see it, your friends know it, your husband cannot deny it. YOU are one available woman, and you will be BLESSED because of it.
Guess where His hand is today? On your head, of course. <3
- gena
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Smartphone vs. Relationships
Hey, Mom! Let me just cut to the chase: your family wants you to like them more than your smartphone. And, if you just felt your whole body stiffen and feel the urge to defend yourself . . . you're guilty.
But, you're not alone. A pandemic has struck the homeschool world and FAMILIES everywhere. Smartphones have siphoned off irretrievable hours from vital RELATIONSHIPS. We check our smartphone first thing in the morning, and it’s the last thing we touch before we go to bed. Every available free moment is filled with checking posts, shopping online, and frittering away our lives on never-ending digital fodder.
You check it at every pause in your homeschool lesson, during lunch, throughout the day, and well into the evening as most of the members of your family do as well.
Mom, we're in a battle for the family. It's not about outside forces; it's about US and our SMARTPHONES. Can I challenge you to put it down and away? Don't have it in the same room when you homeschool. Don't keep it in your pocket to have it wherever you go. When you're talking to your children or spouse, don't pick it up to read or answer texts. When you go to bed, leave it in another room.
I could go on and on with story after story of moms who sit across the table from their children and never utter a word because their faces are buried in their phones.
Is it hard to be intentional and put it away—YES! Is it vital that you do? YES! I think the only hope for our children is to see their parents model self-control and put it down.
I'm rooting for you.
Be real,
Todd
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Unplug with Your Spouse
I recently saw a poll on a popular social media page that asked moms to answer how often they had a date night with their spouse. The winning response? “What’s a date night?”
Although I snickered when I read it, I realize that there is a lot of truth to that response. Parenting is a challenging, energy-requiring endeavor, and when you add homeschooling into the mix, the blending of days, nights, and weekends can easily prevent parents from even thinking about focusing on time to themselves. They are so committed to pouring into their children that they can forget one very important point:
Building your marriage is one of the best things you can do for your children.
You see, when kids watch their parents make time to be together and to build their relationship with each other, some amazing things happen.
They gain a greater sense of security. That is because they see the foundational part of the family (Mom and Dad) as an anchor. When parents make being together an important thing, then the children know that this is something Mom and Dad value and will work to maintain.
They learn how to be a husband or a wife. They are watching you, Mom and Dad. They see your roles and learn what those roles look like by watching how you play them out in the family. So when you take time to focus on your marriage relationship, your children see that as an important thing to do when they become a parent.
They benefit from more time with you. What? How can that be? If you take time for a date night together, how can that time away mean more time with the kids? Well, reconnecting with your spouse helps the two of you foster your relationship with each other. It allows you to step back from the constancy of being in Mom-mode so you can gain proper perspective, share concerns, encourage one another, and even pray together. When you do that, your time back with your children becomes richer, more fulfilling, and you actually are more mentally and emotionally available to them.
A date night doesn’t have to be an expensive babysitter and dinner out, either. Even time sitting on the back porch while the kids watch a movie inside counts in my book! My husband and I called it a date night when we found ourselves walking the aisles of Home Depot to pick out a new ceiling fan while our oldest child was back at home in charge of the younger ones for an hour. Once in a while, we would have a special dinner together after all the kids were in bed and we were finally alone. (It would be close to 9 p.m., but it was worth it)
Your marriage is a critical part of your home, and if you do not make time to foster and build it, things will always be more challenging. Make the time. Your whole family will benefit!
Sherri Seligson and her husband David homeschooled their four children for 21 years. Before being promoted to motherhood, Sherri worked as a published marine biologist at Walt Disney World. An MEd. grad in Curriculum and Instruction, she has authored Apologia’s General Science, Marine Biology, and five upper level instructional video courses. An international conference and retreat speaker, Sherri uses transparency, truth, and humor, as she encourages moms on their homeschool journey and teaches families the importance of studying God’s creation.
www.facebook.com/SherriSeligsonAuthor
www.sherriseligson.com
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Worst Day Ever
I was 33 years old, had been married for thirteen years, and had five boys ages 4 to 11. It was the worst day of my life. I loved homeschooling, and as a performer extraordinaire, I put my all into it and excelled. But that fateful day, God had a lesson for me to learn.
My husband came home to dinner, baths, and bedtime. The boys were barely tucked in when I yawned and headed to bed. My husband sat stewing for a few minutes. Then he came into the room and asked if we could talk.
“I’m so tired,” I complained. “Can’t we talk tomorrow?”
“No.” He replied. “We need to talk now. I married you because you are my best friend. You do life whole-heartedly with everything except me. I don’t need a homeschooling mom; I need a wife!”
That dagger went straight to my heart. I cried. I prayed, and I saw my gleaming sin. I confessed to God and humbly confessed to my husband. Then I tried to reorganize my priorities.
My husband needed to become my number one again. So, I dropped out of choir for a time, realizing that my family needed to be my ministry for now. I asked my husband what he needed done in the home to feel comfortable. He said, “As long as the dishes are done and the bed is made, I’m good.” That relieved a lot of pressure.
The biggest change we made was an hour rest period after lunch for everyone from toddlers to teenagers. They didn’t have to sleep, but everyone was required to be by themselves. I was not allowed to do housework, grade school papers, plan lessons, or do laundry. It was one hour a day for me! I could shave my legs, call a friend, read a magazine, or shut my eyes.
The results were amazing. The boys all got along a lot better with each other for the rest of the afternoon. They listened better and were more attentive. When the troop went down for bed, I still had something to give my husband in the way of friendship and romantic attention. As I became more playful and fun, so did he!
We also started having a weekly rendezvous—a date. Sometimes it was a walk or a real dinner date. We only allowed each other to talk about work and kids for the first half an hour. After that it was about us. The boys are grown and gone. My best friend and love of my life and I are enjoying the empty nest years together.
Dara Halydier is an author, speaker, and mom of five grown boys! She homeschooled for twenty-one wonderful years and is now encouraging other homeschooling families. She is the executive director of Abiding Truth Ministry and the author of the Practical Proverbs series and other books. Dara has learned life’s lessons the hard way—experience! The lessons she shares come from truths that she has learned from dealing with chronic pain, having moved thirty-three times, having four boys with learning disabilities, and having overcome a past of abuse to proclaim God’s grace, forgiveness, and freedom. Find out more at
www.abidingtruthministry.com
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Wherever you are on your homeschooling journey,
The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine can help light your way! The
Winter 2019-2020 issue—AVAILABLE NOW—offers help and advice on teaching your preschoolers, customizing courses for each student, and preparing high schoolers for college. Its feature articles on sky careers will have your kids reaching higher and dreaming of life’s possibilities. It is loaded with 120 pages of encouragement, teaching tips, and available resources, including a Freebie Directory! Learn how to give your children a classical Christian education, and how to include fine arts and music in their program. Discover fun family projects and crafts to do this winter.
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Need some ideas for unplugged activities? Looking for productive projects that are fun but also promote skills?
SchoolhouseTeachers.com has you covered! Check out Heritage Crafts. Learn how to use a lucet and French knitter to create small handcrafted items, among other projects. Want something a little more active? Check out our Physical Education Center with skills and activities for every grade and every student.
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in the latest issue of
The Old Schoolhouse® Magazine.
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Congratulations to Taylor Courmier from Orange, TX, who won our October Contest Corner giveaway!
Contest Corner
for the month of December
Manners and Me: An Easy-Peasy Guide for Kids and the Grown Ups Who Love Them
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If you come across this symbol (. . . ) go to the link provided at the end to read the full review.
“Kids these days have no manners!” Generation after generation seem to bemoan the behavior of those coming up behind them. Today is no different. Even though I work with my son on a regular basis to help keep him from being the subject of such comments, we can always use more resources to help teach polite, courteous behavior. I found the book
Manners and Me: An Easy-Peasy Guide for Kids and the Grown Ups Who Love Them
by Nancy Dorrier
made for a fun introduction to a sometimes-boring subject.
This not an etiquette book. You will not find how to set a table or properly open a revolving door. It is more about being polite and considerate during interactions with others. Some of the topics covered include listening, communicating, patience, promptness, gratitude, and helpfulness.
(. . . )
I especially liked how
Manners and Me
suggested things or questions to ask others in advance or to intentionally look for things to compliment.
The hardback book has 21 full-color pages which feature illustrations of cute animal families. This along with the large, easy to read text make
Manners and Me
a good fit for children in early to mid-elementary. It sells for $14.99 and is available at mannersandme.com.
(. . . )
This is a shortened review of
Manners and Me: An Easy-Peasy Guide for Kids and the Grown Ups Who Love Them
, so go on over to our site to
read the full review
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ALSO visit this other excellent page of our site where you can
ENTER THE CONTEST
for your chance to win this easy-peasy guide on manners written by Nancy Dorrier.
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California
Look What’s Happening!
Christian Home Educators Association of California (CHEA) is hosting a Southern California Homeschool Moms Spring Retreat! It will be held at Murrieta, California on March 20-22, 2020. The theme of the weekend is Rhythms of Grace. For more details and registration,
visit their website or contact Michaela at 562-864-2432.
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is now available for FREE online!
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