Breakthrough
Newsletter
VOLUME XII ISSUE NO. 12 | DECEMBER 2020
Breakthrough
"Productive insight; clear (often sudden) understanding of a complex situation." Free Dictionary

Pop the bubble of conditioned thinking and emerge into the creative realm of "no absolutes," continuous change, uncertainty and unlimited possibilities.

Then, there can be innovation, adaptation and optimal performance.
Performance and Open-minded Mindfulness
Open-minded: questioning everything, accepting diversity and uncertainty.  

Mindful:  consciously aware; concentrated. 

Foundation for blending process, project, engagement and knowledge management into a cohesive approach to optimize performance.
Take the Good with the Bad - Mindfully Manage "Negative" Thoughts and Feelings
By George Pitagorsky
Do you experience negative feelings like weakness, envy, anger, frustration, fear or sadness? Do you feel badly about yourself for having them and push them away? Everyone, from time to time, experiences negative feelings. But if you answered yes to the second question you may be suffering from toxic positivity. 

Attitudes: Positivity, Negativity and Toxic Positivity
Positivity is a mindset that associates with optimism, pleasure, high energy, accomplishment, growth, expansion and success, and happiness. A positive attitude accepts reality and reality includes the positive, negative and neutral.

Negativity is an attitude of pessimism, defeat, helplessness, and hopelessness. It is a sense that things are bad, are going to get worse, and are beyond control. Often, negativity is so ingrained in a person that it seems the natural and only way to think.

Toxic positivity is over-optimism that avoids reality by denying the negative. Positivity is healthy, but too much of anything can be toxic. Nothing is intrinsically good or bad.

For example, one might experience feelings of disappointment, anger, dejection, or grief upon an injustice, loss, or failure and be faced with advice like “Don’t be angry. Love everyone” "Never give up" or "Good vibes only." The advice might come from a coach, friend, or partner. It might come from within. Underlying that advice is a belief that there is something "bad" about negative or afflictive feelings.

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Mindfulness, Meditation, Self-Awareness

We provide online courses, workshops, podcasts and other web content to individuals, organizations, and consultants with a focus on mindfulness, self-awareness, and process thinking.

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self-awareliving.com
Negative Does Not Mean Bad
The belief that negative means bad is founded on the reality that afflictive feelings are distressing, troublesome, and generally unpleasant, and, when fed, they thrive and perpetuate. They become increasingly strong and come out as angry reactions or depression. Negative feelings block the positive. Similarly, positive thoughts and feelings when fed will thrive and drive out the negative.

However, the fact that feelings like anger and sadness grow and strengthen when fed does not make them "bad." These thoughts and feelings are natural. Negative thoughts and feelings will come up when we are faced with disappointments, loss, or other unpleasantries.

Sadness or anger arises. If it is denied and pushed way, the result is likely to be internal stress related physical damage, deep depression, and outbursts of anger. If, on the other hand, the negative feelings are fed they perpetuate. So, what to do?

Accept, Replace, Transform
When mindfulness and self-awareness are brought to bear, thoughts and feelings become things to observe objectively. Things are just things until we judge them as either good or bad. Simply by mindfully observing negative thoughts and feelings we soften their impact. They are not you if you can observe them. Often, the process of stepping back to mindfully observe lets them pass on their own, keeping thoughts from spiraling into darkness. Cultivate an attitude of acceptance. Consider negative thoughts and feelings as signals rather than afflictions. Accept that it is normal to feel as one feels. Then with mindful awareness let the feelings pass.

If a passive approach doesn't work for you - sometimes it takes too long or the feelings are too intense - then either analyze, replace or transform.

You can name the afflictive emotion, and seek to find and eliminate or weaken its cause. This kind of analysis again weakens the power of the emotion and can lead to insights that may serve to reduce or eliminate the occurrence of an emotional reaction in the future.

You can replace negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, replacing thoughts about a friend or relative becoming sick with a hope or prayer that they won't. Aphorisms, prayers and positive thinking change the mind. Instead of "Just be positive." Think or say "It's OK to feel negative, what can be done going forward?" 

Alternatively, you can transform the negative feeling's energy. Emotions have a power which we can sense as energy coursing through the body and mind. For example, when there is anger there is a strong sensation of strength. Let the energy of anger become the impetus for compassionate action. Let the energy of grief be felt as love for who or what has been lost.

Manage Your Process
Recognize that while all thoughts and feelings are acceptable, the way you manage them is what is important.

The mark of a true practitioner is not what arises in your life and mind, but how you work with what arises.
—Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, “The Path of Patience”

There is a paradox. It is skillful to accept negative thoughts and feelings. It is also skillful to apply remedies so that negativity does not take hold. When applying techniques like mindful acceptance, analysis, replacement or transformation, beware of the tendency to bypass or suppress afflictive emotions. Learn to trust your self-awareness to know when you are becoming toxic in your positivity and when you are using skillful tools and techniques in a healthy way, to enhance your positivity. 

For Further Reading
How to be Happy Even When You Are Sad, Mad or Scared:

How to be happy...How to be Happy Even When You Are Sad, Mad or Scared is available on Amazon.com. It is a book for children of all ages (including those in adult bodies). Buy it for the children in your life so they can be better able to “feel and deal” - feel and accept their emotions and deal with them in a way that avoids being driven by them. You can order the book at https://www.amazon.com/How-Happy-Even-When-Scared/dp/1072233363
Performance and Open-minded Mindfulness
Open-minded: questioning everything, accepting diversity and uncertainty. 
 
Mindful: consciously aware; concentrated. 

Foundation for blending process, project, engagement and knowledge management into a cohesive approach to optimize performance.
By George Pitagorsky

Success is measured in how well and how regularly you meet expectations. But what exactly are expectations, and how do you effectively manage them when multiple priorities and personalities are involved?
Using the case study of a Project Manager coordinating an organizational transition, this Managing Expectations book explores how to apply a mindful, compassionate, and practical approach to satisfying expectations in any situation. George Pitagorsky describes how to make sure expectations are rational, mutually understood, and accepted by all those with a stake in the project. This process relies on blending a crisp analytical approach with the interpersonal skills needed to negotiate win-win understandings of what is supposed to be delivered, by when, for how much, by who, and under what conditions.
Managing Conflict in Projects
By George Pitagorsky

Managing Conflict in Projects: Applying Mindfulness and Analysis for Optimal Results by George Pitagorsky charts a course for identifying and dealing with conflict in a project context.

Pitagorsky states up front that conflict management is not a cookbook solution to disagreement-a set of prescribed actions to be applied in all situations. His overall approach seeks to balance two aspects of conflict management: analysis based on a codified process and people-centered behavioral skills.

The book differentiates conflict resolution and conflict management. Management goes beyond resolution to include relationship building that may serve to avoid conflict or facilitate resolution if it occurs.
 
The Zen Approach to Project Management 
By George Pitagorsky

Projects are often more complex and stressful than they need to be. Far too many of them fail to meet expectations. There are far too many conflicts. There are too few moments of joy and too much anxiety. But there is hope. It is possible to remove the unnecessary stress and complexity. This book is about how to do just that. It links the essential principles and techniques of managing projects to a "wisdom" approach for working with complex, people-based activities.