The unthinkable happened, you and your partner made the painstaking decision to separate. But what now? How do you tell the children? Divorce at any age can be an extremely traumatic experience and it is important to feel like you have the tools to say and do the right thing for your kids. Regardless of the marriage, you have your children to think of and put first. Divorce is not an uncommon practice in our society today; in fact, current estimates suggest half of all first marriages will end in divorce. It can be a painful process for all involved, but it is particularly important to talk to children and teens about divorce in an appropriate manner and ensure they have a safe space to process their personal experience. Although they may logically understand separation and see many representations of divorced or blended families, going through it first-hand can be as traumatic for a child as the death of a loved one. Emotionally, kids and adolescents may not have the words to talk about how they feel or understand why they may lashing out; however, it is common to need time to process a potentially sudden and unexpected life change. Through this three-part article series, we will walk through typical reactions you see in various age groups and red flags to look out for in youth. We will also address what you should and should not do as a parent when talking to your children about what is happening between you and your former partner, in addition to typical questions you might hear as the divorce proceeds, and suggestions for age-appropriate answers. Lastly, we will provide a list of resources for each age range to support kids in processing the complex emotions associated with divorce and separation.
