Q: What did the ghost eat for lunch?...
A: A boo-loney sandwich!
Q: What does a clock do when it's hungry?...
A: It goes back for seconds!
Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?...
A: A gummy bear!
Q: What did the M&M go to college?
A: Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Q: What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar?...
A: Going my Milky Way?
Q: What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?....
Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?...
A: Because it lost its filling!
Q: Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of "The Star-Spangled Banner"?...
A: Student:"Play ball"?
Q: Which Holiday is Dracula's favorite?...
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler!
Q: Why don't skeletons watch horror movies?
A: Because they don't have the guts.
Q: Why don't skeletons like parties?
A: Because they have no body to dance with.
Q: Why don't skeletons play music in church?
A: Because they have no organs.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A: The trombone.
Q: Why didn't the vampire have any friends?
A: Because he was a pain in the neck!
Q: How are vampires like false teeth?
A: They both come out at night.
Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.
Q: Why did the witch refuse to wear a flat hat?
A: Because there wasn't any point to it!
Q: What was the witch's favourite subject in school?
Q: What do you call a nervous witch?
A: A twitch.
Q: Why didn't the zombie go trick or treating?
A: He felt rotten.
Q: When do werewolves go trick or treating?
Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi!
Q: What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?
A: A pumpkin patch.
Q: When is it bad luck to meet a black cat?
A: When you're a mouse!
Q: Why are graveyards noisy?
A: Because of all the coffin!
Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: A hobblin' goblin.
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?
A: "Watch the board and I'll go through it again."
Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: I scream.
Q: Why don't mummies take vacations?
A: They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Q: What is a mummy's favourite type of music?
A: Rap music.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No, ma'am. They're dead."
Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?
A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, "S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me." Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, "W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?"
Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
A: "Quack! Quack!"
Q: What sound does a space turkey make?
A: hubble, hubble, hubble.
Q. What are unhappy cranberries called?
Q. What's blue and covered with feathers?
A. A turkey holding its breath!
Q. What's the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
A. The turKEY!
Q. Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A. He had the drumsticks!
Q. What did the pumpkin say to the turkey on Thanksgiving?
A. You're lucky you're only eaten on one holiday! This is my second one in a month!