Daffynition: Retreat - To get another piece of candy on Halloween.
Tom Swiftie: "I'm not eating too much candy," Tom said sweetly.
Daffynition: Pocahontas - A card game that comes back to scare you.
Teacher: Does anybody know why we celebrate Columbus Day?"
Only one student tentatively raised her hand. "It's the day the Indians discovered Columbus?"
Q. What do you call wood when it's scared?
Q. What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
A. Wrap music!
Q. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
A. It didn't have a haunting license.
Q. What are a ghost's favorite rides at the fair?
A. The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
Q. What's worse than being a five hundred pound witch on Halloween?
A. Being her broom!
Q. Why couldn't the ghost see its mom and dad?
A. Because they were trans-parents!
Q. Which ghost is the best dancer?
A. The Boogie Man!
Q. What's a ghoul's favorite game?
Q. Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
A. It raises their spirits.
Q. What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Q. What is a ghost's favorite dessert?
A. Booberry pie.
Q. Why don't ghosts like rain on Halloween?
A. It dampens their spirits!
Q. Why did the monster's mother knit him three socks for Halloween?
A. She heard he grew another foot!
Q. Who do monsters buy their cookies from?
A. The Ghoul Scouts.
Q. What is Dracula's favorite circus act?
A. He always goes for the juggler!
Q. What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?
A. You join his fang club.
Q. What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
A. It Sphinx!
Q. What is a vampire's favorite dance?
A. The Fang-Dango.
Q. Why are vampires so easy to fool?
A. Because they're suckers.
Q. What did the tree say to autumn?
A. Leaf me alone.
Q. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
A. With a pumpkin patch.
Q. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Q. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?
A. He is a pain in the neck!
Q. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?
A. Because you can see right through him.