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“The root of joy is gratefulness…
For it is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”
— Brother David Steindl-Rast
Hello dear friends,
Can you believe here we are in November already! Even though the weather has been lovely, I know what's coming…and so, alas, it's time to start preparing my garden for the change of seasons. I've been filling brown leaf bags and bringing in the various yard decorations. But you better believe I've also been stopping to enjoy sitting in our Adirondack chair, soaking in the glorious November sunshine…and giving thanks.
Yesterday, I found myself reflecting on this sacred time of year, when the veil is thin. My Celtic ancestors would have called it Samhain (pronounced Sow-en). In my Catholic faith, November 1st is All Saints' Day and November 2nd is All Souls' Day. I'm grateful that, in different ways, these traditions each invite us to remember and honor those who came before us, as well as loved ones who are no longer with us. They also remind me that our loved ones are never really far away. Their love and guidance continue to surround us, often finding their way to us in subtle and unexpected ways…if we're open to noticing.
I'm sure many of you have your own traditions and special ways of remembering loved ones throughout the year. Whatever they may be, I think there is something very special and healing about setting aside time to remember those who we have loved.
My Mum is in my heart every day, and I still chatter away to her :) And this past week, I especially felt her presence with me as I sat at Logan Airport, waiting to catch a flight to Washington, DC. The stars had aligned; both my girls happened to be in DC the same week for work! So, when they asked me to come down and join them…well, it was an immediate and ecstatic YES!
Sitting at Logan looking out across the water to Winthrop, I found myself going back in time. It was where I lived during my internship in Boston, and where I returned after completing an internship in Washington, DC, back in 1988.
Seeing my old, familiar stomping ground brought back so many memories, including those of my Mum visiting me during those years. Five years of my life, and so many special memories during such a pivotal time in my twenties, were connected to this area.
I couldn't help wondering what my young, twenty-something Clare, living in Winthrop, would have thought if I'd told her that 38 years later, she'd be sitting at Logan Airport, getting ready to visit her two daughters in a city she'd once considered making her home! I had such fun during my internship in DC, but family, friends, and my love of Boston eventually called me back.
I also thought about how much my Mum enjoyed visiting me while I lived in Boston, and how she had wanted to visit me while I was in DC, but her work schedule never allowed it. I smiled and thought, "Well, Mum…you are always with me, so guess what…we're off to DC!"
And then I got a little teary…you know, those grateful, nostalgic, and longing tears all rolled into one. I found myself appreciating a little more how she must have felt when she came to visit me. I was always touched by how excited she was to see me, to be part of my adult life, and to see the person I was becoming.
Aww, Mum, I feel all that same excitement now with my girls. It’s as if I'm seeing the world through your fifty-something eyes. Well, I'm that age (and then some;). How I wish you could have been traveling with me in person, but I know how proud and excited you would have been (and, I know in my heart, are) of both your granddaughters.
Of course, there were other lovely parts of my visit, too! The weather was gorgeous, so I took full advantage of being in DC and walked for miles, including visits to the Sculpture Garden and Botanic Garden. I'll share a few pictures…including, of course, some of the birds and squirrels! Even the brazen squirrel who jumped up on the table and snapped up the last of my blueberry scone while I reached into my purse for something. Such a naughty city squirrel;)
Another really special part of my visit was getting a little window into my girls' working lives and seeing them in their element. I loved watching how people seemed to genuinely light up and feel supported when they were in the room. It was lovely to see not just what they do, but a little more of who they are as they do it. It got me thinking about the gift of seeing those we love through a slightly different lens…maybe there should be more "Bring Your Mum (or Dad!) to Work Days!" :)
When I arrived at Alana's office, she announced to her co-workers, "It's Bring Your Mum to Work Day," and we all laughed. With Kate, I had the opportunity to meet the students in the Fulbright program she oversees at the University of Northern Colorado. I had heard stories and seen pictures, but to meet these lovely people in person…what a gift!
I love the idea of getting to see our loved ones in a setting we're not usually part of, and noticing their gifts and the ways they make a difference in the lives of others. I imagine so many of us would be amazed to see the different aspects of our loved ones' jobs. We might find our hearts smiling, and be genuinely amazed by their knowledge, their abilities, or the way they approach what they do. It's a lovely reminder that there's always more to discover about the people we love…even those we think we know so well.
On the flight home, my heart felt full, and I found myself thinking about how all the different threads of our lives come together in our own ever-growing tapestry, while also contributing to the much larger tapestry we create together. The people, places, experiences, and memories that have shaped us remain part of who we are, even as life moves on and circumstances change. And the threads woven by those we love, including family, friends, and beloved animals who are no longer physically with us, never disappear. They remain part of our tapestry through the memories and stories we carry with us. I find that so comforting.
I also decided I wanted to write a card to each of my girls to thank them for this special time together. And then I found myself smiling because I was (and still am!) notorious for writing long cards. On their birthdays and the first day of school, they'd say, "Mum, it's too long…we'll be late! I'll need to read this when I get home!" I always knew they were probably right (being early isn't one of my gifts;). What can I say, I love to write!
But in all seriousness, I think most of us, including my girls now that they're older, really appreciate receiving a kind note. And I knew then that I had at least part of my November newsletter figured out. I'd share one of my favorite practices in the Cuppa With Clare section: the Gratitude Letter.
As we head into a busy season, dear friends, I hope you'll find a little time to pour yourself a cuppa, get comfy, and perhaps read a little more about the Gratitude Letter.
Peace & blessings,
Clare xxx
Click here for my SoundCloud track, "Resting in the Breath" Meditation.
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