As we approach the halfway mark of Ramadan, legions of Muslims are falling into the rhythm of the daily fast. Like so many first generation children of immigrants, I have fond memories of Eids spent with family, both at home and abroad during the heat-scorched summers of Karachi.
Now, as a parent of very young children (one staunchly in toddlerdom and the other on the cusp of first grade), I often think about how to inculcate the values this annual observance highlights.
When my daughter was in Montessori, the school's director invited parents to share traditions, customs and other glimpses of their diverse backgrounds. That little school house, located in a neighborhood not far from D.C.'s Embassy Row, was its own melting pot with children of expats and immigrants. Following the lead of another parent who volunteered to perform the rituals of a Japanese tea ceremony, I raised my hand to share something about Ramadan, or as Pakistanis call it, "Ramzan."
But as the day approached, I struggled with how to explain the actual fast itself. To a toddler growing up in an affluent community, the idea of abstaining from food or drink, yes-not even water, was something their tiny brains might find, well, mindblowing.
For help, I WhatsApped my cousin, Maliha, a mother of three, who was teaching kindergarten at the American School in Shanghai.
"It's about empathy," Maliha reminded me. "It's an opportunity to put yourself in the shoes of someone who does not have plentiful food and water and feel what they feel.”
I wondered aloud how to teach empathy- a concept many grownups failed to grasp- to my tot audience.
“Ramzan teaches compassion so we can feel how the poor feel. You can show pictures of people who have to walk for hours to get water. When we feel thirsty, it reminds us to think of those people and think of ways we can help,” she explained.
Empathy became the word of the day on the day of my presentation. I read a short story about Curious George's first Eid and offered each toddler their first taste of a date, the fruit of a palm tree, that millions of Muslims eat to break their fast.
"When explaining to toddlers and preschoolers the concept of fasting, it’s best to keep things simple and relatable," suggests Aisha Sultan, home and family columnist for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. "Every major world religion has some days of either fasting or giving up certain things as part of their traditions."
Sultan, the daughter of Pakistani immigrants, eagerly volunteered to talk to her kids’ preschool classes about Ramadan, even scripting a play, when they were little.
“I would always lean into the idea of being more empathetic toward the struggles of others,” said Sultan.
And for kids, the concept of abstaining from eating or drinking anything from dawn to dusk may be the perfect opportunity to teach something the world could use a lot more of: a renewed case for empathy.
