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Jesus Never Read Dale Carnegie
This week, I was thinking about a book I read in the early 80s, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was starting out in my first career as a salesperson and was fascinated by the life principles Dale Carnegie taught me. You will make more friends and be more successful if you do not criticize, condemn, or complain about others.
Based on the Gospel lessons from the past few weeks, I do not think Jesus ever read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book sold millions of copies by offering some fairly simple advice: begin in a friendly way, avoid unnecessary criticism, show respect, and whenever possible, let the other person save face.
Apparently, Jesus had not gotten around to reading it. In Matthew 22:1–14, Jesus tells a parable about a king preparing a wedding banquet for his son. The food is ready, the tables are set, and the invitations have gone out, but the guests refuse to come. One goes back to his farm, another heads off to his business, and some mistreat the servants who came to remind them.
Emily Post would have been horrified.
Then the king sends his servants into the streets and tells them to invite everyone they can find— “both good and bad.” Before long, the banquet hall is full.
So far, it is quite a story. But here is the problem: Jesus is telling it to the religious leaders, and they know it. In the previous chapter, Matthew tells us that the chief priests and Pharisees realized Jesus was talking about them. So Jesus is essentially standing before some of the most respected religious figures of his day, saying: “You were invited to the party, but you refused to come. Now other people are taking your seats.”
Not exactly Dale Carnegie.
Carnegie might have suggested starting with a compliment. Jesus begins with a banquet and ends with people realizing they missed it. But Jesus isn't insulting people just to be rude. He is doing what the biblical prophets often did: telling an uncomfortable truth because something important is at stake.
Sometimes love is gentle. Sometimes love listens patiently. And sometimes love says, “You might want to rethink this.” Jesus reminds us that faith is not always about hearing comforting words. Occasionally, the Word of God challenges us, irritates us, or tells us something we would rather not hear.
The real question, then, is not: “Did Jesus say that nicely?” It is: “Is Jesus telling the truth?” Dale Carnegie wanted us to become better listeners. That may be good advice for disciples, especially when Jesus is talking. I guess it's better to tell the truth even when it might be hard on someone else.
You, my friends, are invited to attend worship with us on Sunday at 10:30AM. We'll also be live on Facebook. We appreciate your attendance and look forward to worshipping with you.
Peace+
Pastor Eric
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