Chances are you've seen and heard an emotional manipulator at work. Perhaps you even live or work with someone who regularly pulls out their blame gun and sprays accusations on everyone else. They get angry and indignant and go on and on about how stupid, ineffective, or lame others are. They use their verbal tirades to dismiss situations and ideas that are divergent to their position. Everyone else is responsible and wrong; they're right and know how to fix any problem.
 
Finger-pointing is a behavior demonstrated by people targeting their anger at others rather than owning their own frustrations, because the world isn't the way they think it should be. Those folks control through blame and intimidation. They don't like it when someone speaks up their truth, especially if it's different from theirs.
 
In reality, anger is a normal reaction to injustices and violations. It is a pure bodily sensation, characterized by the impulse to strike out and destroy physically or verbally. It's a natural emotional expression, but needs to be expressed constructively.
 
Being berated for spending too much money, not keeping the house clean enough, for the way we drive, or for a decision we made gets old. It takes a toll on our self-worth, health, and well-being. There are other destructive consequences. We become afraid and defensive, waiting for the next strike. Love takes a dive out the window. We can't help but take to heart what the blamer says, and in the process get down on ourselves. fThis leaves us feeling hollow, a bit numb, and sad. We're also, pissed off at being unjustly accused and demeaned.