The WUN's webinar speaker, Lee Miller,
Professor and Expert on Influence and Negotiations
What is the #1 thing a woman in business needs to remember about negotiating?
There is no one thing that will make you a great negotiator. The good news is that negotiating is a skill that can be learned. Read books; take classes and, most importantly, practice. Time spent learning to be a more effective influencer and negotiator is time well spent. Recognizing that most things are negotiable if you know how will enable you to be more successful. Salary, promotions, assignments, availability of staff, access to resources are all generally negotiable. My daughter, co-author of our book, tells the story of how I constantly quoted hockey great, Wayne Gretzky, to her when she was growing up: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
What's the biggest way to kill your influencing success?
Failure to exhibit confidence in your position. Say no when that is the answer you need to give. Say it confidently - and repeatedly, if necessary – and positioned respectfully. Say what you can do and be willing to walk away if you do not get what you consider at least minimally acceptable. Even if you don’t reach agreement at that moment, negotiations are never over. They may come back to you after a break in time. There will be future opportunities if you say no in the appropriate way. In the process you will gain respect and legitimacy.
In your book “A Women’s Guide to Successful Negotiating” you share the 3 C's of Negotiating and Influencing: Convince, Collaborate and Create. Is there one that is most important to lead with?
No, they are three approaches that you can use separately or together to achieve agreement depending on who you are engaging with, the nature of your relationship and the specific situation with which you are faced. It is like a tool kit that allows you to pull out the right approach for the specific job you seek to accomplish.
What is your advice (besides buying your book) for those who struggle with influencing without authority?
Look at your sources of legitimacy; your expertise, credentials, your network, where you work, knowledge of the facts and your ability to present a good case as to why what you are proposing is something your target audience cares about. Preparation along with learning how to negotiate will provide you with the confidence you need to be successful.
Lee has a special discounted offer for WOMEN Unlimited alumnae. These sessions are in the NY metropolitan area.
STRATEGIC INFLUENCING & NEGOTIATING WORKSHOPS OFFERED BY SETON HALL UNIVERSITY
– Strategic Influencing and Communications for Women
– Strategic Influencing and Communications
– Cross-Cultural Influencing and Communications
– Advanced Strategic Influencing and Communications