Rebuilding Fathers Lives To Achieve Family Reunification...
An Investment Worth Making!
   
"We know the statistics - that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it." 
                                               - President Barack Obama, Father's Day Remarks 2008

The national dialogue today of fatherless children weighs heavily on the minds of so many leaders and society at large. The challenges and statistics unique to fatherless households are overwhelming with poverty being a real common core. The long-term consequences of the issue are also extremely damaging to not only the child, but to our entire society.

At A Safe Haven Foundation, we know this struggle well. We house and serve nearly 1,000 children annually, the majority of our young children come from single mother households. We also house hundreds of youth (18-24 year olds) that also unfortunately grew up without a father.  In addition, at A  Safe Haven we housed and served over 1,200 single parents last year, many of them are fathers that had children in the care of a single mom, family member or their children were in the foster care system, due to their father or both parent(s) homelessness, unemployment, addictions and incarceration status, records and history. 

We understand the importance of mentoring programs, by men and adults in the community to help our at risk youth. It is valuable to provide our youth with role models in the community and we too offer those types of volunteer mentoring programs at A Safe Haven for our youth. We also know the importance and priority of helping single Mothers and as you know we house and support them too. As we all know, some single Mom's are heroic in their efforts to raise their children without the support of a father in the picture, but, for the purposes of today's newsletter I want for all of us to consider the unique issues, challenges and the role of the many of the estranged poverty stricken and homeless Fathers that we serve.   

Due to our unique role in the community that serves every spectrum of the family unit, we have a different perspective. Like most of you, who may have children of your own, at A Safe Haven we know that the most powerful and ideal situation is to provide a child the love and support of a biological parent(s) who is socially and financially stable and is involved in raising them.
 
That is why we do everything we can to rebuild the lives of our single fathers - because we know that by helping them, it is not only their lives we will lift, but also it is their children's lives that truly depend on their fathers (s) success. It depends on the situation, but of course if the mother is in the picture she too may benefit from a biological father who can take responsibility for his own child by getting the help she needs to raise their child both financially and emotionally by having an involved father who spends time and also cares for the child.  In order to succeed, a lot needs to happen first, think the airplane safety plan "They must put the oxygen mask on first before they can help their children". 
 
At A Safe Haven, we start with the basics. We assess the parents social determinants, their education, their physical and their employment history and their potential. Then we start the rebuilding process by addressing and solving the root causes of their issues whether it is their drug and alcohol problem,  financial literacy, literacy, computer literacy to parenting education-and we begin to connect them with their individualized services designed to ultimately reconnect them to employment, permanent housing and finally to a plan for family reunification.  Due to our funding partnerships with the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, we are also in a unique position to partner with the Agency to time the reunification of a parent with their children appropriately and to ensure that the family reunification process and execution is the most successful.  Upon family reunification, at A Safe Haven we can accommodate living arrangements for the entire family and provide therapy and behavioral healthcare services for the everyone. 
   
Although it is easy for all of us to rush to judgment, we know that at A Safe Haven most fathers/parents who have been estranged from their children's lives, regardless of the way it happened, there is almost always tremendous shame, guilt and pain that affects everyone. These issues are often exacerbated if the father indulged in years of empty promises, years of being stuck uncontrollably in the grips of the 'disease' of addiction and their inability to financially support them. The issue is especially damaging to men, as fathers historically and biblically have always served the role of the breadwinner and the leader in the family. Unfortunately, too many fathers in crisis find that when that living up to that 'type of role' is not possible, it is not uncommon for them to simply and sadly 'give up' and just 'check out'.  The resulting emotional cost leaves deep unresolved wounds for all involved in these circumstances.

Once they arrive at A Safe Haven they often express that they are eager to do better. It is usually considered one of the main goals the fathers express at the beginning of their stay at A Safe Haven as that they seek to rebuild their lives so that they can reconnect with their children, right away! At A Safe Haven we know that early on most people at A Safe Haven arrive 'fragile and broken' and in order for that family reunification to happen successfully, it will be a process and it will take time before they can build a solid foundation.  For some, it can happen quickly, for others it may take months on our watch or even years later after they have moved on from A Safe Haven. Of course, each case is different, but ultimately it is crucial that we do not rush them to reunite with their children because, we don't want them to disappoint their children by trying to reconnect them all too soon. Doing so, may also trigger a relapse or a setback for the parent and the child, respectively.
   
For over two decades, we are grateful to know that our A Safe Haven model has successfully rebuilt the lives of thousands of fathers in a way that has allowed them the strength and courage to reconnect them with their children and their  families and to become positive productive members of the family and role models to their own children. 
 
We would love to say that all reunions are happy and heartwarming experiences, the reality is when children and youth have been abandoned and/or ignored or neglected by a 'deadbeat' father, in order to reconnect in a meaningful way the absent parent must have the strength, courage and ability to endure what may be a less than perfect reunion, filled with rejection, hate and claims and accusations of past lies and hurts. And, more importantly when the reunion happens, the father must be able to deliver on their renewed promises and commitment to truly honor their words with their actions.  Rebuilding trust will take time, but the results of a solid family reunification are the most inspiring stories we ever get a chance to witness. 
 
Throughout the years, we have realized that it is never too late, whether the parent re-enters the life of the child when the child is 2, 12, 20 or 40, the forgiveness, healing and reconciliation that occurs is truly a Blessing for everyone concerned.  
 
Today, we have many amazing stories of fathers and alums who entered A Safe Havens programs, whether it was mandated by a judge, referred by a government agency, friend or whether they came on their own, at a time when their children were small and now their children's lives are experiencing trajectories completely different than the devastating and staggering statistics we share below would have predicted, if their family reunification, stabilization, education and empowerment had not occurred. It is always exciting to get a chance to hear from some of our Alums from time to time years later, when I get to ask about their children and hear stories of their children's academic and professional achievements!  Their the type of successes that many of us take for granted and tend to happen when children are provided with a safe living environment, solid support system and unconditional love and trust from their family at home.  
 
This week we share some stories of our Dad's who were estranged from their children's lives and have since been reunited with their children, as well as the stories of other fathers currently fighting to rebuild their lives and knowing that family reunification is within the realm of possibility, it gives them the extra sense of purpose to fight  and work hard for as a cause bigger than themselves. We find that most estranged fathers really do wish that they could be in their children's lives, but the barriers seem to great and the damage seems irreversible. The difference is that at A Safe Haven we can show them how to succeed on their mission in rebuilding their lives, and reuniting with their families in a way that is going to stick and will restore their pride and purpose. 
 
Frankly, as our society struggles with the issue of fatherless children, we understand that it is not easy to inspire sympathy for the fathers, who have lost their way and left lots of collateral damage in their wake, and perhaps it is just easier to write them all off.  But we urge you all to consider the possibility of helping us support the fathers we serve as another way we can help to reunite families and rebuild the lives of our children and youth. I can say that if these fathers are at A Safe Haven and in our care that many of them are working hard to get back on their feet and to do the right thing, not only for themselves but for their children.
 
So, regardless of how we feel about fathers who have let their children down in the past, from our experience, we know that the option of reuniting families exists and we help make that a reality for hundreds every year. And, that doing so truly is the Best Thing in the World we can do for our most vulnerable children and youth growing up without a father and 'at risk' of becoming, or worse, already considered another statistic in the system.  Together with a plan and with dedicated resources, we can begin to reverse the negative trends and the root causes of absentee fathers and invest in rebuilding the lives of fathers for the benefit of their children and ours- long-term. 
 
Thanks to your g enerous support and dedication to Chicago's most vulnerable that we are able to intentionally, pragmatically and systematically continue to prevent families from falling apart due to social and economic challenges and to build and rebuild the lives of fathers and to reunify families.
 
Finally, as we enter the fall season and as we begin the holiday planning season, lets take a moment to be grateful for our own families and thankful for our ability to support them. We hope you will consider how we can partner with you and/or your business this holiday season do more to help shape the future for a society that we can trust will help people and families in their time of need to not only rebuild the lives of fathers, and fatherless children but to create a better world for all of our children too.  
 
God Bless You & Your Families,
 
 
Neli Vazquez Rowland
President and Co-Founder           
    
A Safe Haven Foundation's
Illinois Department of Children and Family Services
Family Reunification Program
Over 1,000 Families Reunited  
 
 
For 12 years, A Safe Haven have developed strategic objectives for its Family Reunification Program which reunites children with their parent in a court-ordered, supervised setting. The program is deeply rooted in our long-term commitment to help strengthen families and the communities we serve.
 
On average, A Safe Haven houses and reunites over 1,000 Heads of households and families with children every year, since its origin.
 
Services includes: Permanent Sustainable Housing, Job Training and Placement, Behavioral Health, Treatment, Early Learning, Positive Youth Development, Healthcare, and Adult Basic and Secondary Education.


FATHERLESS CHILDREN
 
Fathers are fast disappearing from American homes and one in three children, or approximately 15 million live without one according to the U.S. Census.  In fact as the census recorded the fact that 160,000 new families with children were added, the number of two-parent households decreased by 1.2 million and nearly five million live without a mother.
  • An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father.
  • Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers.
  • 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers.
  • According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America.
Source:  U.S. Census Bureau.
Father absence contributes to crime and delinquency. Violent criminals are overwhelmingly males who grew up without fathers ... (U.S. Census Bureau report, "Child Support and Alimony: 1989, released Oct. 11, 1991) 
 
MICHAEL, A SINGLE FATHER
REUNITED WITH DAUGHTER,
PERMANENTLY HOUSED AND GAINFULLY EMPLOYED
THANKS TO A SAFE HAVEN

Three years ago, Michael was living in Milwaukee where his drug use escalated from marijuana and alcohol to heroin and cocaine. He received a call from Chicago, informing him that his daughter's mother was unfit to parent and that his daughter would be entering the State's foster care system. Michael returned to Chicago immediately, where he spent 6 months in intense drug treatment. After his release in August of 2013 he was referred to A Safe Haven, where he received numerous supportive services including parenting classes, financial planning, and STRIVE Job Readiness Training. While Michael lived at A Safe Haven, his daughter made regular visits and their relationship flourished. Michael left A Safe Haven in April of 2015 with a full time, benefited job with the CTA, full custody of his daughter, his own apartment, and a renewed outlook on life.
 
"Thanks to A Safe Haven, I've recovered. My mind is clear. It was a very depressing place to be in, but now couldn't be happier. Reuniting with my daughter has been the greatest blessing-I wouldn't change having her for the world."

 
The poverty rate for Fatherless Households  triple the rate for children in two parent families. In 2012, 47% of children in single parent families were poor, compared to 13% of children in two parent families.



Source: 
U.S. Census Bureau, Table C8. Poverty Status, Food Stamp Receipt, and Public Assistance for Children Under 18 Years by Selected Characteristics: 2013, available at http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/cps2013C.html
Meet Timothy, A Single Father of Three
Working Towards Full Custody
 
Timothy came to A Safe Haven through a Department of Children and Family Services referral after being incarcerated for one year on a DUI charge. Prior to his incarceration, he had no stable home, jobless, and no way to care for his three young daughters. A Safe Haven offered Timothy housing and much needed services, such as Job Traini
ng, Job Placement and Behavioral Health Therapy.  Although still a resident, he is actively working with his Case Management team on being reunified with his three girls. 
 
Timothy is grateful to the A Safe Haven's Center for Workforce development as he is now gainfully employed, full-time and appreciate the transportation provided by ASHF which assist him in commuting to and from Naperville each day.  His daughters-ages eight, six, and five - currently lives with his sister, and he was recently been granted unsupervised visits with them on the weekends, and often visits on weeknights.
 
Timothy's goals for the future are all about his daughters, "My kids mean the world to me. It's all about them now. I want us to be together, I know my daughters are depending on me."

Recent policies encourage the development of programs designed to improve the economic status of low-income nonresident fathers and the financial and emotional support provided to their children. Formal evaluations of fatherhood efforts have been conducted, which makes this the opportune time to step back and assess what has been learned and how to build on the early programs' successes and challenges.


FATHER FACTOR IN DRUG AND ALCOHOL ABUSE
  
 
Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. 
  • 75% of children/adolescents in chemical dependency hospitals are from single-parent families. (Center for Disease Control, Atlanta, GA) 
  • 1 out of 5 children have a learning, emotional, or behavioral problem due to the family system changing. (National Center for Health Statistics)
  • More than one half of all youths incarcerated for criminal acts lived in one-parent families when they were children. (Children's Defense Fund)
  • Nine million American children face risk factors that may hinder their ability to become healthy and productive adults. One in seven children deal with at least four of the risk factors, which include growing up in a single-parent household.  Research indicates that children confronting several risk factors are more likely to experience problems with concentration, communication, and health. (Source:  Kids Count Survey - Annie E. Casey Foundation.)

Meet Eric,
Opioid Addiction Led to Loss of Custody of His Daughter
Now, A Single Father Being R eunited with His Daughter
Through DCFS Courts
 
 
Eric suffered from a 30 year battle with drug addiction, which eventually led to the loss of his daughter. His daughter's mother also suffered from addiction, and they both entered a court-ordered detoxification and rehabilitation program. Following rehab, Eric received a referral to A Safe Haven, where he is able to see his daughter on the weekends. At A Safe Haven, Eric took parenting classes and went through the welding job training program. He is currently employed and looking forward to his first Welding position.  
 
At age 7, his daughter is now in the first grade, and her weekend visits at A Safe Haven are a highlight for Eric every week, "I definitely cherish the moments I have with her now, as opposed to when I was using. I love her so much-every day is a blessing."  #Grateful!!!

FATHER FACTOR IN EDUCATION
WHY OUR WORK IS SO IMPORTANT
 
 
 
Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
 
75% of teenage pregnancies are adolescents from single parent homes (Children in need: Investment Strategies ...Committee for Economic Development). Explanations for teen pregnancy include the break-up of the American home and parental loss. (University of Kentucky, Departments of Psychiatry, Ob/Gyn and Psychology)
   

FATHER FACTOR IN INCARCERATION
 

On Incarceration:  Children in father-absent households have significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds. A Department of Justice survey of 7,000 inmates revealed that 39% of jail inmates lived in mother-only households. Approximately forty-six percent of jail inmates in had a previously incarcerated family member. One-fifth experienced a father in prison or jail.
 
Source:  The Fatherless Generation
 

FATHER FACTOR IN BEHAVIORAL HEALTH
EVERY 78 SECONDS A TEEN ATTEMPTS SUICIDE
 
Every 78 seconds a teen attempts suicide - every 90 seconds they succeed. (National Center for Health Statistics)

63% of suicides are individuals from single parent families. (FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin - Investigative Aid)

Separation, divorce and unmarried parenthood seemed to be a high risk for children/adolescents in these families for the development of suicidal behavior". (Atilla Turgay, M.D.American Psychiatric Association's Scientific Meeting, May 1994)
You Are Cordially Invited!
A SAFE HAVEN CELESTIAL GALA
The Drake Hotel Oak Brook
Saturday, November 5, 2016
  

We are excited to invite you all to attend our 22nd Anniversary 2016 Celestial Gala!
All proceeds from this event will benefit the homeless individuals and families residing at A Safe Haven Foundation, one of the nation's leading nonprofit organizations. Please register today.

For sponsorship opportunities, please see Gala Sponsorship Package. The registration page only accepts credit cards as method of payment. To make your contribution by cash or check, or to inquire about sponsorship, please contact Angela Gerontakis at  [email protected] or call 773.435.8374.

 

Neli Vazquez Rowland, Keynote Speaker; Media Subject Matter Expert
Solving Social Problems with Real Social and Economic Sustainable Solutions

 
Neli Vazquez Rowland is often called upon by media, academia, business and policy leaders to share her experience and insight on the impact of poverty and sustainable poverty solutions.  


Recent Speaking Engagements include: Small Business Advocacy Council, GoodWorks Chicago; Chicago Council on Global Affairs; Harvard University; University of Columbia, Bogota; Romney Public Policy Institute Bingham Young University; University of Chicago, Notre Dame Mendoza School of Business; Purdue Krannert School of Business; Loyola University Quigley School of Business; Northeastern University; Social Enterprise Alliance-Chicago Chapter; and others. Her work at A Safe Haven is often the subject of leading local, national and international print, radio, television and trade publications. Notably, A Safe Haven and her personal journey was the 10 page feature story in Rotarian International Magazine, February 2014 and the featured poverty story on a global news network CCTV with over a billion viewers and subscribers.  

If you are interested   in having Neli Vazquez Rowland  as a speaker at your next event, please visit our website and complete the  Speakers Bureau Online Form.
  
 

 
About A Safe Haven Foundation
A Safe Haven is a 501(c)3 not for profit, social enterprise that helps alleviate poverty and helps people aspire, transform and sustain their lives as they transition from homelessness to self-sufficiency with pride and purpose.  A Safe Haven provides the tools for each individual to overcome the root causes of homelessness through a holistic, scalable model.  A Safe Haven's visible social and economic impact unites families, stabilizes neighborhoods and creates vibrant, viable communities.
  
A Safe Haven is a 501(c)3, all donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent of the law.  A Safe Haven Foundation Non Profit Tax ID# 36-4444200.
   MAIL A DONATION TO:
A Safe Haven Foundation Headquarters
2750 West Roosevelt Road, Chicago, IL  60608 
ATTN:  Neli Vazquez Rowland