We have either observed or done it ourselves. The infamous “roll your eyes” when a parent is preaching, repeating, or reiterating something that has been already said or discussed.
Parents may over-justify for various reasons, often with the best intentions at heart, aiming to ensure their child understands the reasoning behind decisions or to avoid emotional distress. You know, repeating a rule, moral or value they believe their kid might not have learned yet. This is irritating, annoying, frustrating and inadvertently complicates simple matters or undermine the child’s ability to accept and learn from straightforward rules or consequences.
Trust me, kids know how their parents feel, what they will and will not accept, and what gets under their skin. They can write a list of your expectations, rules and what you won’t put up with. Many times, less is more when speaking to your kids.
Inside the Mind of a Child: What Kids Really Think When Parents Overexplain; Out of the Mouths of Babes
Kids have a unique way of observing and commenting on the world around them, including their parents’ attempts at parenting. Here are some quotes that children have shared in therapy about their parents’ habits of over-justifying, over-explaining, and their own tactics for negotiation...