Weekly Newsletter:

January 14, 2026

The Journey From Wish to Hope

Whew! The holidays are over. As we set our sights on the brand new year, many of us made a number of resolutions designed to "start afresh" with vows to do things differently. Well-meaning wishes filled with hope for "new beginnings."

But. It brings to mind the intentional divide between wish and hope. Is there one?

And if so, what might that be, exactly?

Hope should be used to imply a longing for things or events that are highly probable or possible. Wish, on the other hand, refers to wanting something that cannot or probably will not happen.

Times like this call for us to refer to our trusty Webster Dictionary in order to sort things out:

WISH can be defined as "a term that refers to a desire or points to something one longs to have or not have happen"... i.e., " I wish things were different." It expresses a desire that is impossible or unlikely to occur or have occurred.

Note: It is reaction-based. Simply put: Wish should be used when referring to a desire with little or no chance of coming true.

HOPE, conversely, conveys a reasonable confidence about a desire. Hope is used to refer to something positive or doable. i.e., "I hope to find a great caregiver." Hope expresses a desire that is possible or likely to happen.

Note: "Hope is proaction-based. It is not an emotion", according to author Brene Brown, "but rather a cognitive process", according to researcher C.R. Snyder, a trilogy of "goals, pathways, and agency."

WISHES conveys much emotional suffering that can be traced back to being caught up in this self-defeating thinking. It is not bad or wrong to find ourselves caught up in that web of regret and resentment that is sure to follow; it just can't take us where we might "wish" to go, which most likely entails some form of optimism and positivity for the present and future. We can spin our gears for a very long time when stuck in circumstances we can't control.

The byproduct of our "stuckness" can serve to harbor depression and powerlessness, resentfulness, and, yes, hopelessness. It is a "reactive" stance to circumstances and attitudes devoid of plans or intentions. The very attitude of "wishful thinking" serves to take on a disempowering outlook, one devoid of optimism or forward thinking and planning.

With an attitude of hope, taking a proactive stance opens the way for solutions, remedies, and a "thinking outside the box" approach to challenging circumstances.

Strategies, such as:

Disciplining oneself to focusing on present time
Generating an "attitude of gratitude"
Being willing to entertain options not seen before
Taking "timeouts," for self-care
Reading up on new options on the internet
Joining a support group
Limiting time with negative people
Keeping a journal
Using a rant line to call a friend (just to vent and get the negative stuff out, enabling some emotional movement; a sort of "clearing the deck" in order to move on