Thinking Flexibly
We are living through a rapidly changing environment and it is likely to continue to be the case for our children. As parents, we recognize the need for our children to learn how to think flexibly, adapt to new situations, and build their capacity to change their minds when they receive new or additional data. Thinking flexibly is part attitude — our openness to new ideas — and part action — knowing how and when to expand our horizons and use new ideas and information. We want them to know when to think broadly and when to focus on details. When our children are confronted with problems or challenges, we encourage their creative and novel thinking. As they make difficult choices, we want them to consider possible intended and unintended consequences.

How are you helping your child to develop their capacity to think flexibly? For example:

When your child is “catastrophizing” a minor setback and is saying they want to give up, offer to sit down and analyze what happened and brainstorm ways to make it turn out better next time. It may be helpful to share a story from your own experience and describe how badly you felt at the time and how you eventually were able to see the situation differently.

When your child is focused only on their perspective, try to have them step back and consider how other people could be affected. How might their words, actions, and ideas make other people feel? This helps them empathize with others feelings, predict how others are thinking, and anticipate potential misunderstandings. They are able to work with people from different cultures and who represent different perspectives recognizing other people’s ways of experiencing and making meaning.

When your child is stuck on a problem, talk with them about what questions or ideas come to mind when zooming out to see the big picture and what comes to mind when zooming in to see a more detailed view. This “Google Earth” approach encourages more flexible thinking because it takes us beyond our normal range of vision.

When your child is feeling stuck because of the limitations of rules, criteria and regulations help them generate fresh ideas rather than feeling stuck. Often limitations lead to creativity. It is always helpful to stay positive and consider possibilities rather than focusing on what you do not have. Encourage your child to start with what they have, what they know, and what they are interested in learning more about.

When your child feels confused or uncertain, help them tolerate the ambiguity of the situation. Encourage them to trust their instincts and continue working creatively and productively. Give them the support to take a chance and try something new or different.