October brings a pallet of colors and reminds us to embrace the beauty of change. Capital EAP is here to support your thought life's changing seasons! Join us as we unveil helpful articles and resources designed to enhance your well-being.

This month, you can expect to explore in the following subjects and more:

• Ways to empower yourself to build and embrace your mental wealth
• What bullying in the workplace really is
• Increasing your emotional intimacy in your relationship
• Observances and celebrations for the month of October
• Activities & helpful resources
• EAP benefit reminders
• free Behavioral Workshop training schedule and registration

Mental health has become less and less of a stigmatized topic over time, but that doesn’t mean it’s become any easier to talk about for some people. It can be very overwhelming to be diagnosed with a mental health condition, and even more so to try and figure out how to talk about that condition or live with it. Though it doesn’t have to be hard, overwhelming, or scary to. It can even be empowering, given the right knowledge and right attitude. So, let’s talk about how to build up your mental health knowledge and self care into some mental wealth!

Knowledge is one of the most powerful tools when living with a health condition, and mental health is no different. This extends to both knowing how to live with the given mental health condition, but also how to talk about it. Being able to know when to and how to share the knowledge of your mental health is a good way to help bring others into the fold of how to best help you. After all, if you were living with a condition that affected your lungs, you’d want to be able to tell people that you can’t move at a certain speed because of it - and then they could match your speed and choose activities that are better fit for you. Mental health conditions are no different, and being able to advocate for yourself by simply saying ‘my brain doesn’t work like that’ or ‘my mind has certain quirks to it’ can help. These conversations can be incredibly daunting, given how vulnerable we have to be when we have them.

Additionally, it’s important to understand that mental health can affect physical health and vice-versa. For example, if a pair of twins were both studied with the only difference between them being one was stressed and one wasn’t, the stressed twin would consistently get more sick than the mentally healthy one. Or if you believe that a pill you’ve taken will cure something going on with you physically, and you genuinely believe it, then that belief alone may alleviate the symptoms. Our minds have incredible power over our physical selves, and our physical selves have power over our minds in equal measure. Taking care of one is taking care of the other, and so to live your best life it’s important to take care of yourself mentally as well as physically. Just as varied as physical health is, and ways to maintain it, so is mental health; but, there are a few general tips. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion like you would show others, find something that truly relaxes you or removes stress and engage in it daily, advocate for yourself and your comforts, and make goals that are reasonable for where you are.

Though knowing what is going on, how it’s going on, and what to do with it might help there may be times that it all feels like a lot to manage. When all you can do is tread water; and that is okay as well as completely normal. Life, especially in this modern era, is hectic and beyond what most of our minds were ever made to comprehend - especially if said mind has a health condition. Thus, let’s talk a bit about how to tread that water. Simply accepting that you’re not in the best place at the moment is a good first step - after all, acknowledging something is wrong is sometimes the most important step to working on getting better. Then, it becomes doing what you can with what you have. If you find you’re struggling to remember to brush your teeth or find the motivation to, simply swishing mouthwash is better than doing nothing. Or if you find you can’t summon up the energy to shower, just brushing your hair and putting on deodorant can be a big step. A particularly useful resource for these sorts of tips would be strugglecare.com, a repository of information for getting through your worst days.

Workplace bullying is a pervasive issue that not only affects job performance but can also have profound consequences on an individual's mental health. You may be experiencing workplace bullying and feel unsure of what is happening, how to handle it or what to say. This article will explore the various types of workplace bullying, strategies to handle it, effective communication with bullies or supervisors, and ways to protect and nurture your mental well-being while dealing with this challenging situation.

Types of Workplace Bullying

To better understand workplace bullying, let's start by exploring the different ways it can be experienced.

1. Verbal Bullying: Verbal bullying involves name-calling, belittling, yelling, and using derogatory language towards a colleague. This type of bullying can systematically erode self-esteem, creating a hostile work environment that takes a toll on one's mental health.
2. Cyberbullying: In this digital age, workplace bullying can extend to emails, instant messaging, or social media. Cyberbullying can be relentless, extending its reach into both work and personal spaces, making it particularly challenging to escape from.
3. Physical Bullying: Although less common, physical bullying may involve intimidation, aggressive gestures, or even physical assault. Such actions can leave lasting trauma and fear.
4. Social Isolation: Excluding a colleague, spreading rumors, or creating a hostile atmosphere can lead to social isolation, which can be emotionally taxing and detrimental to mental health.
5. Sabotage and Undermining: Deliberate efforts to undermine a colleague's work or reputation can lead to stress, anxiety, and decreased job performance.

Handling Workplace Bullying

Now that we've identified the types of workplace bullying, it's important to know how to effectively address and handle these situations.

1. Self-Reflection: Begin by assessing the situation and your feelings. Are you genuinely experiencing workplace bullying, or could it be a misunderstanding? Journaling your experiences can help clarify the situation and gain perspective.
2. Seek Support: Having explored the types, the next steps in navigating this is to see how one can effectively handle workplace bullying. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist for emotional guidance can provide a safe space to express your feelings and concerns.
3. Document Incidents: Documenting incidents is crucial in building a case against workplace bullying. Keep a record of each bullying incident, including dates, times, locations, and the people involved. This documentation can be invaluable if you decide to report the bullying.
4. Confront the Bully (if safe): If you feel comfortable and safe doing so, consider addressing the issue directly with the person responsible. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and concerns. However, exercise caution to avoid escalating the situation.

Effective Communication with Bullies or Supervisors

Once you've taken steps to handle workplace bullying, it's essential to effectively communicate your concerns with those involved.

1. Meet with a Supervisor: Meeting with a supervisor and addressing the issue professionally is essential. Staying calm and composed is crucial during these interactions, as emotional reactions can be used against you.
2. Stay Calm and Professional: Maintain professionalism throughout all interactions, whether with the bully or supervisors. Emotional reactions can be used against you.
3. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to the bully. Let them know that their behavior is unacceptable and that you expect respect.

Protecting Your Mental Health

Addressing workplace bullying is vital, but it's equally important to safeguard your mental well-being throughout the process.

1. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation outside of work, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.
2. Seek Professional Help: If workplace bullying has taken a toll on your mental health, consider consulting a therapist or counselor who specializes in workplace stress and harassment. If you are not sure how to get started, call us at Capital EAP (518) 465-3813, we can help you begin counseling services as well as provide referrals.
3. Consider a Change: In severe cases where the workplace remains toxic despite efforts to resolve the issue, contemplate seeking alternative employment opportunities. Your mental health should be a top priority.

Workplace bullying is a distressing experience that can have severe repercussions on your mental health. Identifying the types of bullying, knowing how to handle it, effectively communicating with those involved, and prioritizing self-care are essential steps to protect your well-being. Remember that you deserve a safe and respectful work environment, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you are experiencing workplace bullying and it is influencing your mental health, please reach out to us. Know that Capital EAP is here to help. You can call us at 518-462-6531 to schedule an appointment. 

Interpersonal conflict is a common distress expressed in therapy. Relationships are important to our well-being as they foster connection and warmth. Maintaining healthy relationships requires mutual effort and commitment toward becoming healthier versions of oneself. This article will focus on romantic relationships and suggest how to increase emotional intimacy with a partner. Doing so can be especially difficult for couples in long-term relationships, and those are children.

The love language quiz is helpful in helping an individual, and couple figure out how they like to express and receive love. An internet search will take you to the quiz. There are five love languages, namely words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service. Engaging in all aspects of the love language is important; however, it can be helpful to know the ones that are most salient for you and your partner. For example, partner A expresses affection through acts of service; however, partner B feels most loved through words of affirmation. This may cause conflict as one party might feel like you're a great partner to the other; however, the ways in which it is expressed aren't in the manner that is important or registers to the other partner as love. By taking the test and having a discussion, partner A becomes aware to engage in more words of reformation rather than gifts. On the other hand, partner B now recognizes that when partner A engages in acts of service, that reflects their affection for them. 

Conflicts are inevitable and normal. Keep in mind the impact of tone and body language while communicating. A helpful strategy to help make constructive feedback more digestible is the sandwich method. You start by giving your partner praise, next stating your concern, and round up another positive feedback. It makes the person on the receiving end less defensive, in addition to reducing feelings of blame, guilt, and shame on either end. Another helpful strategy is the acknowledge, explain, and offer (AEO) method of communicating. Before engaging in this strategy, first, ask your partner if now is a good time. This is important because timing is valuable as opposed to springing it on them and expecting them to be ready when you are. Instead, a discussion about a time that works for both parties is most helpful. When both parties are in the head space to have this discussion, you start by acknowledging their perspective. This looks like saying, 'I know it wasn't your intention to hurt me.' Next, explain the impact of their actions or lack thereof has been detrimental. For example 'I felt hurt when you canceled our date night as I was really looking forward to doing something fun together". Lastly, offer a suggestion/solution and check in with them. For example, "I would like to have date nights every Friday just the two of us. What do you think?

Now that we've learned about love languages and conflict resolution, how does one keep the spark alive? It's not easy, especially within the commotion that comes with juggling multiple responsibilities as an adult. A tip is to compliment your partner often for the little things and acknowledge the strengths that they bring to your relationship during small talk. The second tip is to remain curious about your partner and hold space for the new versions of them that arise with time. This can look like scavenging the internet for questions for couples or buying a card game. The goal is to remain aware of and connect with the inner world of your partner that may not come up in day-to-day conversation. Thirdly, schedule sex and have conversations about what you need leading up to/during/after the sexual experience.

For more tips and tricks, visit https://www.gottman.com/about/john-julie-gottman/. Or consider using your free EAP sessions for couples therapy at Capital Counseling by calling 518 462 6531. Or visit Psychology Today at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us to find a clinician.

For domestic violence, visit the NYS state domestic violence hotline at 800 621 4673 for English and Spanish speakers for 24-hour assistance.

Equinox domestic violence services at 526 Central Avenue Albany, NY 12206, and/or call their 24-hour hotline at 518 432 7865 for services for adults and children for services such as up to 90 days of bed energy shelter, counseling, and legal support.

October celebrates a variety of important observances. Trying to capture them all would be impossible, so here are a few that we thought you should know about!

World Mental Health Day October 10th

This day stands as a reminder to prioritize your mental well-being. This is a great day to take Capital EAP's free and anonymous Mental Health Assessment to receive a response from one of our clinicians to see how you're really doing from an unbiased perspective. This assessment can be found anytime in the Capital EAP Member Portal or at this link here, don't forget to write down your reference code!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

This month stands as a time to unite in the fight against breast cancer. Spend the month raising awareness, supporting survivors, and encouraging early detection through regular screenings. Let's work together to make a difference in the lives of those affected by breast cancer.

National Cybersecurity Awareness Month

In this digital age, staying safe online is crucial. Take time this month to learn about helpful insights into cyber threats and how to protect your personal and professional information. Build a safer online environment by updating passwords regularly, enabling two-factor authentication when possible and staying vigilant against unique and sneaky phising attempts.

National Work and Family Month

Balancing your work life and family life is essential, but only sometimes the easiest thing to do. If you're struggling to maintain a healthy work-life balance, an EAP clinician can help you achieve harmony, reduce stress, and maintain a fulfilling lifestyle. Start your journey to learning about a more balanced lifestyle by checking out the Capital EAP Member Portal Blog section on work-life balance here.

National Fire Prevention Month

Prioritize safety by conducting fire drills, inspecting fire extinguishers, and creating a family emergency plan. Take time this month to educate yourself and others on fire prevention measures to ensure a safer home and workplace. Thank you to our first responder members and their families who help keep us safe from fires all year long!

We are delighted to offer our members a comprehensive legal support benefit that aims to address your legal needs effectively and affordably. With this benefit, you gain access to a range of valuable services:

Free and Confidential Attorney Consultation:

• Capital EAP members can schedule a free 30-minute consultation with a local attorney to discuss their legal concerns.
• Following the initial consultation, members are eligible for an exclusive 25% discount off the attorney's hourly rates if they decide to proceed with their services. This provides a cost-effective solution for ongoing legal matters.

Document Review Service:

• Capital EAP members can have a document of up to 6 pages reviewed by a legal professional at no additional cost.
• This service is particularly beneficial in situations such as reviewing contracts, leases, employment agreements, or other important legal documents to ensure clarity and protect your interests.

Simple Will Creation (According to NYS Guidelines):

• Our legal support benefit includes assistance in creating a simple will in compliance with New York State (NYS) guidelines.
• This service helps you take essential steps to safeguard your assets and ensure your wishes are met regarding inheritance and guardianship.

By offering these valuable legal support services, we aim to empower our members to make informed decisions, protect their rights, and navigate legal matters with confidence.

To take advantage of your free legal support, please reach out to us at 518-465-3813.

If you yourself have never fallen into the effects of an abusive relationship or domestic violence, it might be difficult to wrap your head around how common it is. Below are some unsettling statistics provided by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV):

• On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
• 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. This includes a range of behaviors (e.g. slapping, shoving, pushing) and in some cases might not be considered "domestic violence." 
• 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.
• 1 in 10 women have been raped by an intimate partner. Data is unavailable on male victims.
• Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crimes.
• Women between the ages of 18-24 are most abused commonly by an intimate partner.
• Domestic victimization is correlated with a higher rate of depression and suicidal behavior.

(For more statistics and relevant information visit https://ncadv.org/statistics)

When the general population thinks about abusive relationships, they operate with the heteronormative assumption that male-identified people are the abusers yet female-identified people are the victims. This assumption is quite harmful to anyone outside of the norm who may identify as members of the LQBTQ+ community, and it also discounts the experience men have as victims of domestic violence. Domestic violence impacts relationships of all shapes and sizes and it does not discriminate based on a person’s sex or gender. Lesbians and gay men appear to abuse their partners at approximately the same rate as heterosexual men, though accurate statistics are hard to come by. Their tactics often exploit the victim’s experience of heterosexism and homophobia, as well as inequalities other than genders, such as income or education. According to the office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, there is evidence that male victims report abuse significantly less than women do. In 2008, an estimated 72% of abuse against males was reported to the police, versus only 49% against females. When men don’t report an incident to the police, they usually say it’s because they see it as a private or personal matter, not that they feel ashamed and embarrassed. Some male victims want to protect the partner who assaulted them – just as female victims do. The idea that males are the “typical abuser” perpetuates the stigma around abusive relationships and prevents many men from reporting their partners’ behaviors and receiving the necessary supports.

If you or someone you know is being abused, or if you think that you are in an abusive relationship, we urge you to call Capital EAP immediately and speak to one of our trained counselors. You can also call the NYS hotline for domestic violence at 1-800-942-6906, for deaf or hard of hearing, call 711. You can also get help by contacting the New York State Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence, or the New York State Coalition against Domestic Violence. If you suspect that a child or teen is being abused, you can call 1-800-342-3720; and if you have reason to think that an elderly person is the victim of abuse anywhere in New York State you can call 1-800-342-3009.

Here are some other local organization that can support you with escaping abusive situations:

Schenectady County YWCA

They offer safe shelter, counseling, advocacy, groups, case management, children’s services, and post-shelter services to women who are victims of domestic violence 24 hours each day.

Rensselaer Unity House

The 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline, text line, and web chat feature are anonymous services that provide crisis intervention, information, and referrals.

In Our Own Voices

They specialize in assisting LGBTQIA+ folks of color in a safe and confidential environment and get you the help you need without fear of further victimization or intolerance.

Saratoga Wellspring

Their mission is to support abuse survivors and engage the community to end relationships and sexual abuse.

The Legal Project

Serves the entire capital region and specializes in low-cost and probing services for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

Albany Equinox

They provide services to all victims and their dependent children, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. Albany County’s primary provider of services for victims of domestic violence, providing safety and offering the support, assistance, and tools they need to escape abusive situations.

All workshops held through the Behavioral Workshop are free for Capital EAP Members.

**All Workshop Webinars are recorded, and registrants will be sent a link to the recording post-webinar that will be available for 24 hrs post presentation**

(If you have any questions, please reach out to our EAP Program Coordinator, Evie Bombard, at [email protected])