Volume 01 | January 2019
Facebook Join My List Logo
Happy New Year!
It's 2019, Baby, so let's get right into the swing of things!
Since our company's formative days, customers have been sending us photos of themselves wearing our Utilikilts. Rock climbing, hiking, in the mosh pit at concerts, at weddings, in pubs, riding motorcycles... almost every possible activity has been done while wearing our kilts, and someone has sent us a photograph of it. Literally... trust us.

And the online world has changed significantly since we first sent out this newsletter back in the earlies 2000s, hasn't it? People's attention spans are shorter now, their comments are meaner, Facebook and the realm of Social Media is a thing and so is 'the Floss'; the vacuum that is YouTube exists to distract us from engaging with the written word and each other.

Fortunately, You, our Loyal Utiliclan, remain a dynamic, daring, driving force, demanding to hear and see more from us! So we shall happily oblige. And, as we are fueled by those who represent us, we encourage you to keep sending those photos, videos, stories, and letters! We love to hear from you and we love to showcase how you're rocking the world in your Utilikilt * .

Maybe you've noticed our newsletter has taken a weeeeee bit of a backseat to some of our other projects of late. But as promised, it is a new year, a new start, and we are fully equipped to inundate you with all of the best Utilikilts related news, announcements, anecdotes, contests, photo submissions, general irreverence, and as always, long-assed-run-on sentences.

And despite what the 'experts' say these days about keeping newsletters brief on account of your already overflowing email box, we are still gonna be wordy and verbose and chock full of worthwhile information, so grab yourself a beer, make a martini, or do what ever it takes to fill up your comfort coiffures and get to the chill space where you can enjoy the ramblings ahead. Then scroll on down to see cool photos of cool people in Utilikilts, learn what events we will be attending across the nation in 2019, who won our Utilkiltarian of the Month contest, meet our featured employee, and much more! But first, may we introduce our new Editor...
From the Editor...
Hello there, Outside World! It's me, Caitlyn...The Se ñ ora-Editora-in-Chieftess, High Priestess of this here Utilikilts Quarterly Publication formerly know as the Anti-Catalog. (wanna help me come up with a new title for it?) The founding editors of this newsletter left me with some gigantic combat boots and/or Louboutins to fill, so go easy on me this first time around... To my credit, I DO have a bona-fide Bachelors of Arts Degree in the English Language from an historic and legitimate New England University, but let's be honest, what has that done for any of you other English majors out there? You understand my trepidation nevertheless...

As you read on, I want you to know I am here for you along the way. If you have questions, observations, inspirations, salutations, protestations, creations, commiserations, solicitations, inebriations, or anything else you wanna share... lemme have it . Okay, enough about me, let's dive in to the content (dare I say....the Utilicontent?!...ehhhhrgh, no. Nope! No way. Strike that from your brain sockets! Just go read...)
Upcoming Events
The 2019 events season is gearing up, and we have a growing list of shows nation wide for vending and attending. Check here regularly to see when we will be in your neck of the woods. The list is subject to evolve as the year progresses.

Want to work on a Utilikilts Crew or Lead an event? Do you know of a show we don't presently attend but absolutely must?
Utilikiltarian of the Month!
We've been receiving piles of submissions for the UKOTM contest and had a hell of a time choosing the winners for January, February and March. It's been waaaay too long since we last held this contest, so without further ado, here are the first three Utilikiltarians of 2019:

Over the years, we've put more women back into skirts than anybody. It has pockets! Amirite, ladies? This particular female is not to be trifled with. She serves, she protects, and she unabashedly turns heads, in the Great Commonwealth of Virginia.

He's a seasoned world traveler, spends his time rigging sets and masts, charming the ladies, collecting stories, and causing a ruckus wherever he goes.

He USED to be our biggest fan until he lost over 160 pounds...while rocking his Utilikilts. Seriously. You gotta check out the photos and story of his amazing transformation...
To see our winners' complete interviews and the dynamite photos that won them each a free kilt, check 'em out here! And if you submitted, but didn't win, have no fear! We keep all your entries archived, so a future win may still be yours.

To enter the UKOTM contest for yourself, fill out the form!
Did you know March 1st is "National Wedding Planning Day"? Yeah, it's news to us, too. However, the Utilikilts tuxedo model and other specialty orders from us can take up to 90 days to complete, thus it's not a bad idea to start thinking now whether or not you want to upstage your bride...

We have been honored to outfit many a wedding party over the years, and every one was extraordinary. If you haven't already, send us your photos and stories showcasing your Utilikilted nuptials and we will feature them in our Spring edition.
And Now for Something Completely Different:
What are you Working On?
with Jay Craig

I’ve been in and around Utilikilts since Krash first started making and selling these at a Sunday market in Seattle more than eighteen years ago. At first, of course, I thought he was crazy. But crazy or not, he was definitely on to something. He created an industry that now includes dozens of non-traditional kilt makers, all followers of the original Utilikilt*, and this didn’t happen by luck or chance. This came by hard work. Thousands of hours of hard work and determination and devotion to the belief that he was onto something, regardless of what people said.

I’ve met countless Utilikiltarians throughout the years, and there are two common attributes in just about every man in a kilt: creativity and the love of hard work. If you want to sit on the couch and play video games, they make sweatpants for that ( editors note: Eric might disagree ). If you wear a kilt, chances are you’re out doing shit. Cool shit.

So, we want to know: What Are You Working On ? What’s keeping you up til 3am even though you need to get up at 7:00? What are you REALLY thinking about when you’re being dragged to the latest Sandra Bullock movie? What are you drawing out on a cocktail napkin? Tell us. Show off what you’re doing and don’t be humble about it ‘cause chances are, it’s pretty cool.

Write to us with a description and a couple pictures . This isn’t a contest and it’s definitely not some "Fund Me Platform". There’s no prize ‘cause that’s not what this is about. This is about showing the rest of us what drives you.

I’ll start...
Jay's Tiny House Truck
I was spoiled for many years, living on my own boat and paying about $400/month to live in Ballard, the coolest neighborhood in Seattle. 

But all good things end, of course, so when I saw the writing on the wall I bought an old 17’ UHaul for $5,000 and started turning it into a tiny house with one simple goal- to live in my own home, on the water, in Seattle, off the grid, and not pay any rent.

I started last April and so far have a composting toilet, on-demand hot water shower, and solar power. Once it’s done and fully sided with clapboard and shingles, I’ll find the right place for it- a secure business on the Ship Canal that will let me live there for little-to-no rent in exchange for keeping an eye out on things.

It’s important to me to be as off-the-grid as possible. I got a 200 watt solar system from Harbor Freight for about $350 which is good for now, but I’ll eventually have to double it. The biggest addition, though, turns out to be the simplest- the Composting Toilet. (editor's word of warning: as 'simple' and ecological as his potty is, Jay has confessed that it is indeed within close proximity to the sleeping/living area. One night his lady visitor coyly asked him cover his head with a pillow and hum the National Anthem while she skipped to the loo.).
The Prototype
The Composting Toilet
They make a composting toilet that you can get for about $900, but I was able to make a better one for about $100.

Basically you need a diverter for the liquids, a gas tank, a bucket, some composting bags, some coconut fiber and a toilet seat. It’s so simple!
The Shower
Behind the Scenes
In this column we're chatting with Kyle, our Seattle Flagship Store's General Manager and all around Superman. He's dashing, he's brilliant. He holds the show together and still manages to maintain an active personal life and rotating hair color. How does he do it? Read on...

Who are you and where do you come from?
   I'm an enigma but with a mouth! I originally moved here to Seattle from Honolulu, HI but I grew up in Ohio
When you were little what did you want to be?
   A marine biologist, I loved the ocean and all its creatures. 
How did you come to be working for UK?
   I was moving here to Seattle and saw the job posting on FB, it was so different than any retail job I had before I had to apply
What were your first impressions?
   A bit intimidating at first since my interview was with 4 different people at the same time, but I knew who I was.
What do you do here...besides everything?
   I manage the store and its employees, website functions, marketing, production and events.
What is your personal style like?
   I tend to go for a modern goth kind of look when I want to dress up. Black tends to be slimming for a tall guy like me. 
What have you learned?
   I've learned to really manage my stress and to not hold opinions to heart. It can really bring you down and can hinder work and environment, so I tend to step back, take a deep breath and keep going forward. 

Brilliant work, Kyle!
It's nice to put a face with the one at the helm....
The Utilikilts Trade Back Program
Did you lose all that holiday pudge already? Now may be the time to upgrade to our adjustable Switchback model. Do you know you can trade in your used, clean, Utilikilts in exchange for credit towards a new one? email: contact@utilikilts.com subject line: Trade Back, What's Up?
Yup, even if it looks like this...
This Just In: LEATHER!
We are now taking orders for our Leather Utilikilts. These kilts are hand cut, individually and sewn to order!

Leather has been in short supply to us for far too long, but now we've got enough to outfit a small army. A very small army. Like, smaller than Iceland's army. Maybe more like two rugby teams. Anyway, we have it now.

The Leather is made of thick and heavy 3.5 oz. Motorcycle-Jacket grade leather. It’s the warmest, heaviest, most expensive, most amazingly badass, most go-to-a-bar-and-have-women-ask-to-touch-your-kilt garment we offer. This baby isn’t for the meek. The Leather is for real men. Big men. Men who aren’t afraid to wear large swaths of cow around their waists. Men who take secret pleasure in making vegans and bovine activists cry.

The Leather features two front pockets like a pair of jeans, and they are about as big as those found on the Mocker. Additionally, the Leather has two patch pockets on the back with the laser etched Utilikilts trinity logo. These pockets are flapless, fit tight against your ass, and work just like the back pockets on a pair of jeans.

The Leather features two adjustable “floating” pleats, allowing you to tighten or loosen it up to 2.5 inches in either direction: that’s 5 inches overall!. You can modify how tight the Leather is around your waist and butt and generally make it fit no matter how many beers or burritos you’ve gone through in a night.

Want in on this action? Then give us a call: Hit us up, and for the devilishly cool price of $666 you can look down at your pleather-wearing peers and scoff in their general nowhere-near-as-cool-as-you direction.

206-282-4226 or Click Here
Utilikilts Community
Our vast community of Utilikiltarians (that's you) have a knack for rebellion, born, I suspect, from that sense of empowerment you felt when you first dropped trou and snapped that fabric around your waist. Because we wouldn't dare keep all your incendiary enlightenment to ourselves, here's a triumphant tale from Adam in Bonney Lake, Washington:

"One day I decided to wear my kilt to work. Not the first time, but the first time the plant manager saw it. It was early in the morning and I was getting some coffee. He was standing in the break room when I walked in. He completely flipped out. He asked me what it was...seriously, no joke. I told him it was my kilt. He said I couldn't wear it at work. I told him it's part of my Scottish heritage and he had better tread lightly on this subject with HR being 2 doors down. (I'm not Scottish BTW) lol. He asked me if I brought any extra clothes. I asked him if he regularly brings extra clothes when he leaves for work, obviously not. He then told me to go change into my work coveralls. I replied, I'm not going commando in another man's fatigues. At that point he spit out his coffee mid sentence. He turned white and completely speechless for a few minutes. He then instructed me to just go home. So... I filled out a time-card for 8 hours of OT and went home. And yes, they paid it. Well, the Christmas party was coming up in a month and I knew he couldn't do shit about it there so I had a little surprise for him. The photos are me and my wife ready for the company Christmas party complete with my fresh tattoo. It was a big hit. Sadly though, the plant manager was "removed" before the party happened, but the HR manager was kind enough to send plenty of pics to his new address in Kansas. After that, there was never a problem. HR asked me several times if i wanted to make an official complaint. I always told them no. You don't pick fights to prove a point. I got what I wanted. I had made my point and most were pretty cool about it. I know you probably get some good stuff from all over the world. But this happened in Seattle. Just 2 miles south of your 1st ave store at a place where I worked diligently for 10 years. I don't know about you but I always root for the local underdog."
Adam, your story rocks, your wife is smoking hot, and it is the most ULTIMATE compliment to have our Trinity logo tattooed on your body. Thank you for sharing your badassery with us!
And thank YOU, my fellow Rabble** for sticking it out with me this far...I knew you would. But for now, that's all from me...

I'm ready to get started on the Spring Newsletter and I'm craving your input. Got a funny fable about the first time you wore your Utilikilt*? Or are you the pants-wearing, better half of that Crazy Local Guy in a skirt? I know you have tons of stories, and I want 'em...I'll be back in April with another rousing read for you. Until then, keep on rocking the freedom and sharing the love...Salud!

**Rabble- (noun), a disorderly mob of rulebreakers, a collection of kilt wearers.