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Every yes I utter to another is in some way a no to myself.
“Yes, I’ll go get a coffee with you,” also means “No, I won’t be settling in with that book I’ve been wanting to read.” Yet, I can’t know what new friends I might make at the coffee shop, or what new insights might come from our conversation. Maybe that yes to coffee will also become a new yes for me.
The voice of the Lord said to Isaiah, “Whom shall I send?” Isaiah’s yes was, “Here I am. Send me.” Likewise, Jesus said to Simon Peter and his fellows, “From now on you will be catching men.” Their yes was to leave everything and follow Him. Yes is merely the beginning. The path of yes is not straight and it often isn’t pretty. Isaiah and the other prophets approached a hostile world that wouldn’t listen. Peter and many others literally gave their lives for Jesus.
Today, I find myself questioning my yes. “What do You want?” I ask. “Should I turn this way, or that? How do I know if I am following You or just deluding myself?”
Jesus answers me, “To know what I want, you need to truly know Me and the Father and the Holy Spirit. I love you. Love me back. To know Me, spend quality time with Me in your prayer space at home, at adoration, and all around. I am with you always. Look for Me in unexpected places. See me in the screaming kid at Hannaford, the homeless dude on the sidewalk, or the driver who cut you off on I-95."
“Know Me better, to better know what I want. Open your eyes, your ears and your heart. Your yes to me will be a yes for you, as well.”
I reply, “Jesus, I trust in You.”
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