The Power of Self Love:

Learn to Truly Love Yourself - Part 1

Cohosted by: Kristi Ottis and Jill Seabourne

In part 1 of this 2 part workshop, you will learn to truly love yourself through exploring and enhancing your self-care practices, inner voice, and communication style.

• Are you ready to make your self-care a priority without feeling guilty? 
• Do you wish you could talk to and about yourself with more compassion?
• Ready to explore your inner voice?
• Want to finally silence and say goodbye to that inner critic?
• Do you want to learn assertive communication strategies and how to set boundaries with confidence?

What You Will Learn:

• Steps to prioritize and honor your self-care needs instead of putting them last to please others
• Strategies to develop or enhance your self-care practices 
• How to increase self-compassion to feel happier, joyful, and peaceful
• The 4 types of communication styles: passive, assertive, passive-aggressive, aggressive
• The 5 types of boundaries: physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, and financial
• How to set and maintain boundaries with yourself and others to increase confidence while reducing anger and resentment 

When: Saturday, February 18, 2023 

Time: 10:00 am - 2:00 pm CST

Cost: $111

Where: Live, Zoom Workshop

What: Highly Interactive, Breakout Rooms, Assessments, Q & A, and more!

**Use Code LoveU for $10 off if you register by 2/7/2023. 

The Power of Self Love:

Learn to Know and Love the Real You - Part 2

In part 2 of this 2 part workshop, you will learn to know the real you through exploring and enhancing your stress management practices; individual interests, fears, and values; and self-acceptance.

• Are you ready to learn coping skills and strategies for any life challenge? 
• Do you wish you could reduce the amount of stress in your everyday life?
• Ready to discover your real strengths and identify your positive qualities?
• Want to finally let go of perfectionism, unrealistic expectations and people-pleasing behaviors?
• Do you want to learn to truly give yourself the gift of forgiveness?

What You Will Learn:

• Steps to prioritize and enhance your mental health for greater happiness, joy, and peace
• Strategies and tools to reduce stress, anxiety, and overwhelm 
• Techniques to improve your self-esteem, creativity, and self-compassion
• Self-discovery exercises to identify your strengths, positive qualities, and values 
• Tools to reduce fear, perfectionism, and people-pleasing behaviors
• How to truly forgive yourself 

When: Saturday, March 18, 2023

Time: 10:00 am - 2:00 pm CST 

Cost for Part 2:  $111

Where: Live, Zoom Workshop

What: Highly Interactive, Breakout Rooms, Assessments, Q & A, and more!

*Cost for Part 1 & 2: $222

**Use Code LoveU20 for $20 off when you register for both workshops by 2/7/2023.

*A recording of the workshops will be provided to everyone who registers, including those who can't attend live.

*See a sneak peak 👀 of some of the Self Love Workshop content below!!

Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to go. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. 

Individuals who are more self-compassionate tend to have greater happiness, life satisfaction and motivation, better relationships and physical health, and less anxiety and depression. They also have the resilience needed to cope with stressful life events such as divorce, health crises, and academic failure, and even combat trauma.

Below are the three elements of self-compassion:

1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment.

Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. Self-compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing, and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of set ideals. People cannot always be or get exactly what they want. When this reality is denied or fought against suffering increases in the form of stress, frustration and self-criticism. When this reality is accepted with sympathy and kindness, greater emotional equanimity is experienced.

2. Common humanity vs. Isolation.

Frustration at not having things exactly as we want is often accompanied by an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if “I” were the only person suffering or making mistakes. All humans suffer, however. The very definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable, and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than it being something that happens to “me” alone.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification.

Self-compassion also requires taking a balanced approach to our negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. This equilibrated stance stems from the process of relating personal experiences to those of others who are also suffering, thus putting our own situation into a larger perspective. It also stems from the willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-judgmental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.

There are four main myths that help explain why people choose not to be self-compassionate:

Myth #1 – Self-compassion is Weak

Some people see self-compassion as a failure or frailty. You might believe that you have to “act tough” and show grit in order to be accepted and have nice things. The toughness can sometimes be worn as a mark of pride, one that even provides a sense of security.

The Truth: Self-compassion takes a great deal of strength, and the research even shows that people who use it are more resilient and able to overcome life’s challenges.

Myth #2 – Self-compassion is Selfish

Rather than give themselves love, some they feel they need to only give it to others. They see those around them as struggling more, needing more, and they believe that practicing kindness and care towards themselves would harm those around them. Self-neglect feels like a noble choice to make.

The Truth: When we are able to practice self-compassion, we actually create more space for taking care of others. Self-compassionate people are more in-tuned with their needs and are better at meeting them than others, which then means that they are less likely to burn out.

Myth #3 – Self-compassion is Self-indulgent

Some see self-compassion as a luxury, one that only the most self-centered and undisciplined people will entertain. They might feel that self-compassion is childish or immature. This is similar to the myth of selfishness in that people worry about how others might see them should they act in a self-compassionate way.

The Truth: Self-compassion is appropriate and healthy for people of all ages. Research has indicated that self-compassion even leads to better health behaviors and improved medical outcomes.

Myth #4 – Self-compassion Kills Motivation

Some people tell themselves that the key to success and overcoming is not by treating oneself with care, but by being harder and less forgiving towards oneself. Self-compassion is seen by them as a risk to one’s success – if I slow down and am good to myself, will I be able to get my work done?

The Truth: Self-compassion not only provides motivation and inspiration, but it reduces the fear of failure. If we know that we can mess up and not hate ourselves, we tend to make choices that are more about getting what we want rather than avoiding what we fear.

Building a Positive Sense of Self

Your sense of self refers to your perception of the collection of characteristics that define you. Personality traits, abilities, likes and dislikes, your belief system or moral code, and the things that motivate you, all contribute to self-image or your unique identity as a person. To truly know yourself and be known by others, you must distinguish yourself by figuring out what your values, beliefs, and truths are, apart from other people’s opinions about what they should be. 

An unstable sense of self can make you feel flat and unfulfilled, but it’s always possible to develop a clearer self-image. Below are some tips on how to build a strong and authentic sense of self:

1. Differentiate yourself. Look within, distinguish yourself from your surroundings allowing you to become more self-aware. Before you make any decisions, especially life-altering decisions, you have to figure out what you want and how you want to spend your time. People who know themselves make decisions for themselves automatically. But it takes time to get there. The process of defining a self, especially later in life, can be slow. Take your time and remember that knowing yourself happens through the daily decisions you make.
2. Connect with yourself. When developing a sense of self, it helps to stay in conversation with yourself, always exploring new ways to be who you want to be. You can do this by becoming the observer of your own life, which will help you be more attuned with your inner self. When a situation occurs, take a step back and watch your process, thoughts, and feelings, without trying to react immediately. Your automatic responses can lead you in a direction that isn’t in line with yourself, and you may end up regretting it later if you don’t take your time to answer.
3. See challenges as a way to know yourself. When you’re faced with difficult situations in life, try to see them as opportunities for you to decide who you are and see what you’re capable of. When you continue to act in ways that don’t align with your values, you rob yourself of the opportunity to experience who you want to be in different situations and circumstances. How you choose to behave, think, and feel are all expressions of who you want to be. When you observe yourself without judgment or impulsivity, you’re making a decision about who you are; you’re getting to know you. Situations in life, even negative ones, can always serve as opportunities.
4. Apply these actions to your life. There are a few ways that you can practice knowing yourself in your daily life, allowing you to move through life as a more distinguished self:

• Make a real effort to have your feelings line up with your logical brain by looking at the facts every situation.
• Practice sitting with the discomfort that comes from your wants not being immediately satisfied.
• Think about your personal values instead of imposing them on other people.
• When people in your life upset you or you don’t agree with them, try to stay connected to them rather than pulling away.
• Have your own ideas, values, and thoughts even if others disagree with them.
• Look beyond your initial impulsive reactions so that you can see your real intentions, and act in ways that better fit with who you want to be versus what your impulses dictate.

You are not alone! Friendswood Counseling Center is here for you and your family!

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with mental health issues, we can help!  Call today at 281-819-7004 to schedule an appointment with one of our excellent therapists or select the button below to request an appointment. You will receive compassionate support, the right tools, and encouragement to achieve your desired goals. We would be honored to work with you!

3526 E. FM 528 Rd., Suite 207, Friendswood, TX 77546

281-819-7004

www.friendswoodcc.com

info@friendswoodcc.com