Psalm of the Freeloader

The dues paying member is my shepherd,

  I shall not want.

He provideth me with rest days and vacations.

So that I may lie down in green pastures

Beside the still waters.

He restoreth my back pay.

He guideth my welfare without cost to me.

I stray in the paths of the non-righteous

For my money's sake.

Yea, though I alibi and pay no dues

From generation to generation

I fear no evil, for he protects me.

The working conditions which he provides

They comfort me.

He annointeth my head with the oil

 of worker's compensation.

Sick pay, holidays, and a pension.

He represents me in grievances.

And my cup runneth over with ingratitude.

Surely his goodness and loving kindness

Shall follow me all the days of my life

Without cost to me.

And I shall dwell in his house forever.

And allow him to foot the bill.

The Ultimate Free Rider

There once was a worker who would never join a union. All his working life he took the benefits won for him by the union, but he refused to join it. Then, while on his deathbed, he told his wife, "Please do something for me. I want union members to be my pallbearers."

His wife said, "But you never belonged to the union. Why do you want union members to be your pallbearers?"

He replied, "Dear, they've carried me this far, they might as well carry me the rest of the way."

Not a Machine

The union is not a perpetual motion machine. It's not the energizer bunny. It's made up of people who pay dues and volunteer their time.

Saul Schniderman, editor

Some selected back issues.