The Short Vort
Good Morning!
Today is Thursday the 12
th
of Sivan 5780 and June 4, 2020
The Bar Mitzvah
It was more than thirty years ago. However, the memory remains vivid.
As an eighth grade rebbe, I was naturally invited to my student’s Bar Mitzvahs.
Most of them were modest affairs in a local Shul.
The one exception to the group was Moishele (name changed).
His Bar Mitzvah was celebrated in a weekend-long affair at a hotel in the Catskills.
There was no gefillta fist with
chrain
; instead, for the appetizer, we received “Peking Duck.”
The Chassidish cousin (my wife and I were invariably placed at the “token Heimishe family table), remarked, “
Voz iz mit di katshke? Ich Veln mayn gefilte fish
!”
The entire Shabbos continued in an opulent, extravagant, and exaggerated fashion.
The feast reached its culinary culmination on Motzei Shabbos.
There were ten different food stations with themed food from all over the world.
At the Melave Malka, the Rov of the Shul spoke
Amazingly to me, he praised the boy, his parents, and his grandparents for celebrating the boy’s Bar Mitzvah in such a ‘b’tampted’ (a befitting and modest) manner.
I was stunned.
I often heard this Rav speak.
One of his main themes was the necessity to distance ourselves from the Gashmious and materialism of America, and here he was, praising the family for their “b’tampted” affair!
I approached the Rav and asked him, “How could you tolerate such an extravagant, outrageous affair?!”
The Rov took my hand and led me to the side to speak in private.
“Moishele is an only child.
His father, Stanley, is also an only child.
The grandfather, Sender Yodowitz, paid for the entire Bar Mitzvah.
Sender was a twelve-year-old boy when he was sent him to Auschwitz.
He promised Hashem that if he survived, he would make sure that all Jewish boys would be privileged to celebrate their Bar Mitzvahs in true Simcha and not like his, which was in Auschwitz.
For the last thirty years, he has paid for the Bar Mitzvah celebrations of countless boys.
For the bar mitzvah of his only grandson, he decided he wanted to go all out, to give him the Bar Mitzvah he never had.
I knew that his making this fancy Bar Mitzvah was his ultimate revenge against the Nazis, and I could not take that away from him.
I made him promise that on the same night as his grandson’s bar mitzvah, he paid for ten bar mitzvahs in Eretz Yisroel.
Sender readily agreed.
You are wondering why did I have to call the Bar Mitzvah a “B’tampt” affair?
What sense did it make for me to spoil Moishel’s Bar Mitzvah?
His grandfather considers it “B’tampt.”
I disagree; however, does that give me a license not to make a Bar Mitzvah boy feel good at his Bar Mitzvah? What would I have accomplished by expressing my displeasure?
It was Moilshel’s day to shine, and he deserved it.
That is why I called the Bar Mitzvah, “B’tampt.”
Two weeks ago, I ran into Moishele.
He informed me that the Rav of his old Shul had just passed away.
He then added on, “If he would not have given me the Chizuk he gave me at my Bar Mitzvah thirty years ago, I don’t think I would be as committed I am to Torah and Tzedakah.
He made me feel like a million dollars that weekend, and my goal is to repay that million dollars to Tzedakah.”
I looked at Moishele, who is now a well know Baal Tzedakah, and asked him, “Did that Shabbos really mean so much to you?”
Moishele looked at me and said, “No, the Bar Mitzvah was totally over the top. It was my grandfather’s dream to make it as such. I knew that my Rov was not happy with all of the gashmius.
However, the fact that my Rav was there for me and totally shared in my Simcha, especially that I knew this wasn’t his style, made it the most special day of my life. And I have never forgotten him for that.”
That Rav was Rav Meyer Scheinberg Zt”L who passed away just two months ago.
“If Not Now, Then When?”- Hillel
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman
Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel
Passaic, NJ
