The Short Vort
Good Morning!
Today is Wednesday the 17
th
of Tishrei 5780
and October 16, 2019
The Parallel Parking King
This morning I was privileged to daven at the Vasikin Minyan -no, it’s not the first Minyan and not even the second,in fact, it’s the third Minyan out of the nine Shacharis Minyanim which take place daily at the Shul.
After davening I began to walk home.
It was about 8:30 or thereabout and many Bochurim were arriving for one of the upcoming Minyanim.
As I began walking down High Street I noticed a minivan that was attempting to parallel park into a somewhat compact spot.
I was holding my Lulav and Esrog and looking somewhat rabbinic as I glanced and noticed that one young Bochur was attempting to guide another bochur who was driving into the parking spot.
It was obvious to me that they were having much difficulty in managing this maneuver.
I thought about what I should do.
Finally, I took action.
I quickly handed off my Lulav and Esrog to the Bochur doing the hand signals, and called out to the bewildered boy who was driving, “Would you like me to park it for you?”
A look of relief cascaded over his face as he gladly exited the car for me and after moving the seat all the way back, I was in the driver's seat quickly shifting into reverse.
After turning the steering wheel all the way to the right and to the left, I easily and effortlessly eased the minivan in one swift move into the parking spot without the use of a backup camera.
Before you begin to chide me for my un-rabbinic hubris, allow me to explain.
Admittingly, there are very few things that I can brag about and not be misrepresenting myself.
However, one thing I can honestly take pride in is my unmatched talent for parallel parking.
I am the parallel-parking-king-rabbi of the world.
While growing up in New York and living in Manhattan I developed the envious talent of being able to maneuver a 15-foot long car into a parking spot 15 feet and two inches!
I learned to parallel park in the wild-west-of-Broadway-streets in upper Manhattan.
There was no such thing as a parking spot too small.
Even if it was too small, I would use a shoehorn to make the car fit snug and neat.
Therefore, I was only too happy to have an opportunity to display my aptitude for parallel parking.
After I finished demonstrating my exceptional and superior premium parking abilities, I exited the car to the amazement of the two Bochurim.
As I walked back triumphantly to the sidewalk and retrieved my Lulav and Esrog a feeling of contentment and satisfaction enveloped me.
I began to feel smug and pompous.
I thought to myself, “I really saved the day here. These two boys would be lost without my parallel parking talent.”
Just as I was about to bid farewell to the hapless boys, one of them said, “We really appreciate you parking the car for us, after all, we sit in the Beis Medrash the entire day what do we know from parking?”
Suddenly I was crestfallen and dispirited.
Instead of continuing to bask in the sunlight of recognition and respect, I was quickly put back in my place as I realized my parking prowess was not necessarily considered a feather in my cap.
Alas, it was a sign of my diminished distinction in the eyes of the Bochurim.
As I turned to leave with my head down and a saddened heart, one of the boys called out, “Thank you so much, we would have been here all day if not for you!”
Suddenly, the sun began to shine again.
It’s amazing what a “thank you” can do for you.
“If Not Now, Then When?”- Hillel
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman
Rabbi
Congregation Ahavas Israel
Passaic, NJ
