The Short Vort
Good Morning!
Today is Sunday the 27
th
of January 2019 and the 21
st
of Shevat 5779
Bitachon As It Should Be
It was a Sunday evening in Yerushalayim – my only “free evening” of my recent trip to Eretz Yisroel and my cousins were making Sheva Brochus for one of their newly married children.
I hesitated if I should attend as the majority those who would be present, namely the younger generation of 20-30-year-olds I had never met.
Nevertheless, after some prodding from my wife, I decided to attend.
I caught a ride with my first cousin who picked up his parents (my aunt and uncle) from Rechavia and we drove to Beit-El where the Simcha was taking place.
When I was asked to speak and I looked across the room filled with the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of my aunt and uncle, the passuk which came to mind was,
"These are the children Hashem has been kind enough to give to me, your servant."
(Bereishis 33:5)
My aunt and uncle who have been married over 60 years and he still walks to his Kollel daily, and she still prepares homecooked meals daily, are truly blessed with generations of Torah true Jews.
As I gazed at the fifty or so descendants of my aunt and uncle, I recalled 50 years ago playing in Yerushalayim with these same cousins who now like me were grandparents.
As the Simcha concluded, my cousin arranged a ride for me back to Yerushalayim.
I was informed the driver would drop me off at Shaar Yaffo and I could walk from there to our apartment in the Jewish Quarter.
I noticed it was midnight, I timidly asked my driver if it’s safe to walk here alone at night.
He brushed aside my question.
“Of course it’s safe.”
With a wave of his hand, he sped off leaving me alone.
I called my son and asked if I should take a special route or be extra cautious.
“Is it safe to walk through the Shuk at night?”
My son assured me that all was fine and I should walk straight through the Shuk which is the most direct way to the Jewish Quarter.
I began my trek somewhat hesitantly.
After all, we all have heard stories …. About this person … and about this event…
What if???
I decided I would call my wife and speak to her as I was walking thereby being in constant contact with her.
This would certainly allay my fears.
As I looked down at my phone I noticed something which I never saw before. The little battery sign said 1% and as I began to dial the screen went black.
I am a person who never lets his phone “die”, except of course the one night I felt I could use it!
I began to walk into the midst of the Shuk, alone and with a useless phone.
There was not a soul to be seen as I walked the stone steps which no matter what the weather is, they always appear wet and slippery.
The Shuk goes downward and I had to concentrate on my steps while simultaneously watching who might be in front of me or behind me.
I noticed a Middle-Eastern looking man heading towards me.
What should I do?
What
could
I do?
As he came closer, the message hit home, “hey, you are totally alone!”
Surprisingly and counterintuitively the realization that I was totally alone and completely incommunicado, isolated and ostensibly deserted, had the exact opposite effect on me than I would have predicted.
Specifically, and precisely the recognition of my total inability to change or preclude any possible outcome of the situation, was the catalyst for a complete feeling of reliance and of my total dependency on Hashem and Him alone.
The epiphany was powerful and real.
I unanticipatedly realized with complete belief that I was totally and completely in Hashem’s hands.
I was dependent on Him and Him alone and that realization brought me solace.
Please let me be very clear. I did not feel that I was totally not in danger or convinced that I would arrive home safely. Rather, it was the feeling that He was present and the events unfolding were not random.
I came to the recognition that whatever may occur be they in my mind “good” or be they…, He was in charge and He will do what is best for me and for His plan.
This recognition of His presence and the realization that events which may occur are not random caused me to feel calm and tranquil.
A feeling of complete trust in Him filled me.
It totally set me at ease and I felt, perhaps for the first time in my life- totally dependent and trusting in Hashem.
I felt I had achieved the Middah (character trait) of Bitachon (true trust in Hashem) as defined by the Chazon Ish in his classic Sefer Emunah U’Bitachon.
Namely, my trust in Him did not guarantee that what I wanted to occur
would
occur. Rather, my trust in Him and my belief in His active involvement in the world afforded me a feeling of peace and solace as I knew the world is not full of arbitrary and accidental events; quite the opposite. He and He alone is in charge.
My steps were now confident and secure and in a manner of minutes, I was entering the apartment we were staying in.
My wife looked up and asked, “How was the Sheva Brochus? Are you glad you went?”
“You were so right in encouraging me to attend and I am even more gratified and uplifted by the walk home! I never realized what a midnight stroll can do for me.”
“If Not Now, Then When?”- Hillel
Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ
