Monthly newsletter from
Congregation Beth Elohim
in Acton, Massachusetts
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Message from co-president Chuck Pollak | |
Chuck Pollak with his wife Lauren Pollak and co-president Jaymi Formaggio. | | |
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I’m going to guess that almost all of you have played it. It may even be one of your favorite games or pastimes. I’m not talking about dreidel or mahjong, but the age-old game of Jewish geography.
A few weeks ago, at the Sunday welcome back event, I mentioned to Rabbi David that I was, later that day, traveling to Bulgaria for work. He was amazed at the coincidence of having just met a congregant who happens to be Bulgarian. He walked me over to her and introduced me. I talked with her and her husband for a while about her homeland, getting to know each other and her giving me, what else, but food recommendations for my trip. Who knew? Jewish geography with actual geography! What a great new connection!
Just a few days later, my wife Lauren and I received a text message from another congregant telling us that she just discovered that a couple of my oldest and dearest friends in New Jersey are close with a couple of her oldest and dearest friends. Another connection.
Ah yes, it is a game for the ages. A testament to the connections that we have to one another – and to others in our lives, whether we know it or not. Connections yet to be made. It’s not only fun to discover them, but it’s crucial for us to find each other, connect with each other and broaden our community – whether in our own congregation or far away.
As we come together this High Holiday season – and, G-d willing, more and more through 5783 – please seek out those connections with people you know and, perhaps more importantly, people you don’t. An important part of building a stronger community means finding those things that connect us, that bring us closer, and bring us back to each other.
So, next time you’re at CBE hopefully for services this holiday season – find an unfamiliar face, introduce yourself and play the game. You never know what you might find.
L’Shana Tova!
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Behind the scenes — ELC Director Sam Valente-Phillips and Teacher Namita Chaudhuri | |
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We are thrilled to interview Sam Valente-Phillips and Namita Chaudhuri of our own CBE Early Learning Center. In case you didn’t know, CBE leased the classrooms and offices in our basement to the JCC (Jewish Community Center of Metrowest) to run a preschool. But when the JCC decided to pull out after several years, CBE was faced with having to take over and set up our own preschool. A volunteer team at CBE rose to the occasion, and the CBE Early Learning Center has been a wonderful additional source of pride and enrichment for the local community ever since. Sam Valente-Phillips is now the fourth and current ELC Director. She is a longtime Acton resident who is always thinking of fun and creative ways to further engage and connect the ELC families with the CBE community. Namita Chaudhuri, a teacher in the Parparim class, is a seasoned veteran who has worked at the preschool since 2003! She was the interim director earlier this year, during the search for a new Director, and she is someone who frequently proactively steps up to help during times of need.
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You have both been at the CBE Early Learning Center for quite a while. What drew you to the ELC in the first place, how has your role changed over the years?
Sam: We were looking for a preschool for our daughter when we visited the JCC preschool. We loved the school and the community. In the end, our two youngest children attended JCC preschool and the first year of the CBE Early Learning Center. I started out as a very involved parent and became an afternoon teacher in the middle of the ELC’s first year. I transitioned to a floater the following year and eventually became a Pre-K teacher. After a few years, I started working as a Pre-K teacher in the morning and the assistant to the director and assistant to the treasurer in the afternoons. During this last period, I attained my Director I certification.
Namita: I was looking for a part time job in town, since my children were very young then. Ronit Benshir, the director said, “We don’t have any job openings right now, but I will keep you in the sub list”. The same night I got a call for a sub and two weeks later I was told that the toddler room was expanding and they hired me as an assistant teacher. Over the years, I have completed required courses up to the level of director. I have taught in toddler, preschool and pre-K rooms. I have taught cooking and yoga— and this past summer I was the director of the summer program. I also run Shabbat every Friday during the summer when Waky is not here. For a short time, I served as an interim director and now I am excited to work with Sam. It’s been a great learning experience for me in the ELC!
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The ELC has such an astounding track record of parents enrolling siblings. What is it about the ELC that keeps parents coming back?
Sam: First and foremost, we have the best teaching staff around. When parents drop off their children, they know they will be loved as if they are the teacher’s own child. They understand that the teachers want what is best for each and every child and strive to provide it to them every day. The teachers are the foundation of our program.
Second, they know we put the growth of the children, especially socially and emotionally, above all things. We provide a program and a curriculum that meets each child where they are at and then helps them to grow from there. As we say, we are building a foundation for the children’s whole life, not just their academic life.
Finally, we have worked hard to build a community with not just the children and teachers, but with the families as well. We are in the relationship business. Building a relationship with each family is key to our building a community and aiding them to build relationships with each other sustains the community.
Namita: CBE ELC is a very loving and warm community, wonderful families and teachers are very professional! The school has wonderful values and kids have tons of fun while they are learning through play. The children are loved and we try our best to meet their needs. Every time I give a tour to prospective parents, they say “ Wow, I like the fact that all the classrooms have a big window, it is clean and well designed and our school reflects the diverse community in ELC.” The children thrive in a fun loving environment and the parents talk very positively about the school and that attracts other parents to join ELC. And of course the director’s positive guidance makes a huge difference to the ELC community.
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Namita, we hear that you have a passion for cooking! What are your favorite dishes, and how do you incorporate cooking into your classroom?
My favorite dishes are typically Bengali dishes and yes, I LOVE cooking and eating! I try to incorporate both Jewish and non-Jewish themes, for example: For Hanukkah we made an edible Menorah. For transportation week we made cars and stop signs with fruits and vegetables.
How fun is that? And the best part is that you get to eat it! It’s a creative art!!
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Sam, do you have any favorite hobbies that you bring to the classroom? How does your experience as a teacher here influence your approach to the job of director?
I played 3 sports at Brandeis a long time ago. I always enjoyed bringing my athletic abilities to the classroom and helping the children build their gross motor skills. I love to play and learn while doing it. This love helps to really be able to be involved in directed play and help children to love to learn.
It helps me to provide the support the teachers need and even set up dynamics ahead of time to prevent some stressors. It also allows me to help in the classroom when it is needed. I am able to step in and fill a role that is very comfortable for me.
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The teachers and students come from diverse backgrounds and many are not Jewish. How do you make Jewish themes, values and holidays relevant to a diverse student population? Do you have any favorite holidays?
Sam: I have found that whatever your faith or background our values are extremely closely aligned. We celebrate differently, but often for the same reasons. Sharing Jewish values, themes, and holidays to non-Jewish children and Jewish children helps them to learn early how similar we really are in so many ways. It shows them all the connections we have as human beings. One of the lessons I used to teach to the Pre-K class was about the Cherokee celebration of Its Selu. It is their celebration in the Fall of the harvest and the new year. It closely aligns with Rosh Hashanah and Sukkot. Chinese New Year is similar to Rosh Hashanah as well. These are just 2 examples of how much we have in common as human beings.
I am not sure if I have a favorite holiday. They are all unique and have special qualities that I enjoy. I love gift giving for Hanukkah and Purim. I love dressing up for Purim as well. I love celebrating the Earth’s birthday for Rosh Hashanah and the starting over of Yom Kippur. Shabbat will always have a special place in my heart. To this day, my 17 year old daughter smells burning candles and will say “It smells like Shabbat, Mom.”. As a non-Jewish family who does not celebrate Shabbat, it reminds me of the power of what we do and the connections we make in these children’s lives.
Namita: Shabbat is very popular every Friday; the children are eager to go to the Mifgash to celebrate Shabbat with Waky. The children learn how to help others by putting money in the Tzedakah box. Universal values are learned through the Jewish lens. Waky plays a big role when it comes to Jewish curriculum in ELC and we also acknowledge other cultures and invite the parents to share their holidays with the classroom.
My favorite holiday/festival is “Durga Puja”, which is very popular in Bengali communities (mostly in the eastern/north eastern part of India). Durga puja happens in October.
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Do you have any long term goals or visions for the ELC going forward?
Sam: Building a toddler safe playground and then overhauling the rest of our playground is my biggest goal for the ELC. I also want to provide all the benefits and compensation that makes us a destination for teachers and raises our profile to a place you want to work at for more reasons than the already amazing and supporting staff you get to work with when here. Finally, I want us to be the preschool destination for parents no matter what is happening in our community.
Namita: Build a toddler friendly playground!!
What would you like the CBE congregation and community at large to know about the ELC? Is there anything we can do to help make the ELC even better?
Sam: I would like them to know that the staff at the ELC is a very professional, hardworking group of teachers who are passionate about what they do. They put in many hours of work outside of the hours they get paid for to provide the excellent teaching, care, guidance, and love to each of their students. They care for each student and their families, and they carry that care and concern home with them at the end of each day.
The need for a toddler safe playground cannot be said enough. The whole space needs to be redone, but the toddler piece is a must. Support for this project is greatly appreciated. Rabbi David, Shoshana, and Beth have already committed to being more involved with the school. I am grateful as this will help to connect CBE and ELC in immeasurable ways.
Namita: More collaborative work between CBE and the ELC. I would love to see the Rabbi visit the classroom and do some activity or story with the children. I love the fact that preschool photos are featured in the Star-Lite. And It is always a big hit when Shoshana comes for an activity, story or Shabbat!
I am blessed to work with wonderful families and their children in ELC. I feel appreciated by them and I look forward to serving the community many more years!
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Special Feature: The Afghan Family Project | | |
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We are grateful to Ann Budner of Na’aseh for this detailed report. | | | |
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When and how did our Afghan Family Project Start?
When the humanitarian evacuees from Afghanistan arrived in the summer of 2021, Na’aseh (CBE’s our social justice group) started thinking about how we could help. Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) held a meeting inviting synagogues to sponsor a team. Around the same time, Rev. Cindy Worthington-Berry of United Church of Christ, Boxborough asked us if we wanted to partner with them — and we said yes.
Our family arrived at Logan Airport on November 13, 2021, having spent the prior four months at Fort Dix in New Jersey. They have two sons (17 and 7) and two daughters (14 and 12).
What does our team need to accomplish?
Our team is responsible for welcoming the family and helping them to settle and live independently in this country. Some of our responsibilities include: setting up their new home; enrolling the children in school and activities; driving the family to medical, dental, and other appointments; helping them find employment; taking them grocery shopping; and helping them learn English. Our volunteer commitment is one year, although some volunteers may decide to stay involved after the year ends.
Who are our partners?
United Church of Christ, Boxborough (UCCB). We knew that we could work well with UCCB. UCCB came to support us after the attack on the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, and we already had connections with Rev. Cindy.
Jewish Family Services of MetroWest (JFSMW). We chose Jewish Family Services of MetroWest among several options because it is a respected, local nonprofit organization with a long history of helping refugees and immigrants.
What has been accomplished so far?
The family has made an incredible amount of progress in less than a year:
- Three bedroom apartment in Marlborough rented and furnished
- All children enrolled in school, achieving good grades and winning awards
- Enrollment in Mass Health and for DTA and SNAP benefits
- Checking account
- Needed surgeries performed
- English language skills improved
- Parents enrolled in 2-3x/week ESL classes and Linda Friedman works 1:1 with the mother weekly. The father has moved up to the next class level this semester.
- The three older children take ESL classes at school and the three younger children participated in a summer ESL program provided by the Marlborough Public Schools
- Rides provided by volunteers to appointments and shopping
- Sports participation: the boys are talented soccer players, the older playing varsity and the younger playing town soccer.
- Weekly job training and coaching with Jewish Vocational Services (JVS) for the parents
- Employment: the older son has a part-time job
- Drivers’ licenses: in progress for parents and older son
- Immigration status: meeting planned with MetroWest Legal Services
What are the goals for the next 6 months to year?
Building self-sufficiency: By November 2023, the family will be responsible for paying 100% of their rent.
A job for the father. his top priority is finding a job that is a good fit for him, given his medical condition and skills. He is a highly trained helicopter pilot. In the long term, he would like to work as a commercial pilot or a commercial truck driver. The mother may also find work as her English skills improve.
A car. We are currently working on a plan to fund a car with a combination of gifts, loans, and family funds. Meanwhile we continue to need volunteer drivers who can help out when an appointment comes up.
Confidence and the capability to resolve issues and manage the complexities of life in America with minimal volunteer support. This is a learning and growing process for all of us - family and volunteers alike!
Final thoughts
The family is engaging and appreciative, smart, talented, and incredibly resilient. I think I can speak for the volunteers in saying that we are very proud of them! It has been a real learning experience and quite an honor to get to know them and support them in their journey of adjusting to an entirely new life here.
CBE and UCCB have partnered equally in this effort. CBE volunteers include Sue Abrams, Gary Budiansky, Ann Budner, Marjie Cahn, Sarah Coletti, Bob and Deena Ferrara, Dennis and Linda Friedman, Sari and David Kelly, Barbara Frank Michaelsen, Susan Pinsky, Shelley Sherman, Rick and Cindi Silverman.
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Special Feature: Designing an Interfaith and Community-Focused Wedding Ceremony — by Shoshana Zuckerman | |
Our wonderful synagogue administrator, Shoshana Zuckerman, was married over Labor Day weekend. She tells us the story of the journey to the Chuppah. | | |
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Like so many others, my partner and I were one of the engaged couples impacted by COVID-19. Our May 2020 wedding date got switched to September 2021 and then got pushed back to September 2022. A silver lining of postponing our special day is that we had A LOT of extra time to plan and create a highly personalized Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony.
As a self-described, “professional Jew”, it was such a beautiful, eye-opening, and meaningful experience to design and write a Jewish focused interfaith ceremony that was tailored to the values, personalities and cultural/religious backgrounds of myself and my Irish Catholic partner.
From the very beginning, we knew we wanted our wedding ceremony to be inclusive, informative, and interactive for our wedding guests. We are both also deeply drawn to the Jewish concept of kehilla kedosha, sacred community. We are firm believers that a couple does not live in isolation. Emphasizing togetherness and our gratitude for the robust support network that helps nourish our partnership, were equally important themes for our ceremony. With these focuses in mind, every part of our service was intentionally curated to explain the communal, personal, and religious significance of why we chose to incorporate certain customs.
To help our non-Jewish guests better understand and follow along during the service, we made programs that included descriptions of the Jewish Rituals incorporated into the ceremony (click here to see the Etsy template we used).
Prior to the start of the service, we began by reading and signing our Ketubah, the Jewish marriage contract. Ours was written based on mutually agreed upon goals and promises we committed to prioritizing for ourselves, each other and our shared community. We worked with a wonderful artist, Foreverie Paper, who specializes in interfaith and LGBTQIA+ minimalist Ketubah texts and designs.
The official beginning of the ceremony started with reciting a prayer for the Chuppah, a Jewish wedding canopy. A special and personal touch was that the lace on our self-built chuppah was from the wedding dress of my grandmother. Tying in community, we explained that our home, the physical and spiritual, is always open to friends and family. However, it also requires support to hold it up, from the outside by the people in our lives, and internally by our love of each other.
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Hand painted tambourines were carried by the bridesmaids to honor the Jewish biblical tradition of women using timbrels during celebratory occasions. | | |
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The Hakafot, circling, was the next Jewish tradition included. Typically, the woman circles the groom seven times but this patriarchal-focused custom felt antiquated to us. We created our own updated and egalitarian version where the bride circles around the groom three times, the groom circles the bride three times and then the couple circles around each other holding hands for the seventh and final circling. The three circles completed by each partner represent the marriage virtues of: justice, righteousness and loving kindness. To make this section of the ceremony interactive, we asked our guests to count out loud each time a circle was completed.
Next up were the Sheva Brachot, seven blessings. This is where we took the most liberty with creating modern English interpretations of the blessings. We wanted to honor my Jewish roots while also incorporating values that felt meaningful and relevant to us as a couple. We distilled the blessings into the categories of: love, home and children, humor and play, wisdom, health, creativity, and community. In a nod to Joe’s Irish roots, his mom read an Irish blessing for Love, the first of our Seven Blessings. Using English poems and readings allowed us to include non-Jewish guests with honors they could comfortably read.
After sharing our individual vows, we asked family and friends to join us for community vows. In this call and response, our guests pledged to help us uphold loving each other and our community as we embarked upon this new path together.
Keeping with Jewish tradition, the ceremony ended with us both stomping on a glass to symbolize the fragility of our relationships and to remind us that we must treat our relationships with special care.
They say “good things come to those who wait”. Our delayed wedding date ended up being a true blessing in disguise. The unanticipated extra time allowed us to more thoughtfully and thoroughly write an incredibly meaningful and customized ceremony for our special day.
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Joe and Sho holding on for dear life during the Hora. | | |
Feel free to reach out to Shoshana at szuckerman@bethelohim.org if you want to learn more about the vendors and resources she used for designing her interfaith wedding ceremony and celebration. | |
What's up at the CBE Early Learning Center | | |
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Morah Naomi (Katz Mintz) teaching a music class with her inimitable style and spirit!
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Waky blowing the shofar for an attentive audience! |
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The People of Chelm Want to Know... | | |
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For years the “People of Chelm” column has challenged The Star readers with questions drawn from the long and rich history of Jews and Judaism. We are delighted to continue this tradition, with abundant thanks to Bob Ferrara and Waky.
Illustration by Maurice Sendak.
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QUESTION: Early this October we celebrate Yom Kippur, the holiest day in Judaism. Yom Kippur brings more Jews to the synagogue than any other day of year. But unlike a Bat/Bar Mitzvah ceremony or a Friday evening Shabbat celebration, there are several services that are performed on this most special of days. The services in the left hand column are all performed on Yom Kippur. Can you match each service with its definition in the right hand column? Also, which of these services are associated ONLY with Yom Kippur? | |
Ponder your response – and find the answer below! | |
Lifecycle and milestone events in our community | | |
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Mazel tov to Bubbe Waky!!! And welcome to Lila Naomi Foley, daughter of Micky and Brian Foley, born on September 21. | | | |
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And mazel tov to new zayde Sal Lopes! Arev Meldonian, born on August 25, is the son of Marisa and Mike Meldonian. | | |
Has your family celebrated a recent simcha or milestone? Send us a photo along with a caption (limited to 80 words) so we can include your simcha in our next newsletter. Email communications@bethelohim.org. | |
What's happening at CBE this month? | |
The congregation thanks our members, their relatives and friends, and the larger community for donations received during the month of September. If you do not see your donation, please look for it in our next newsletter, or contact communications@bethelohim.org. | |
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Alex Young Social Action Fund
David Salomon & Marilyn Leeds / In memory of Aileen Hammerman, mother of Shelley Green
Amy Naparstek Israel Scholarship Fund
Chips & David Naparstek / In honor of Roberta and Jerry Berenson, on the occasion of their 50th wedding anniversary, with love from Chips and David Naparstek
Andrea Harris / In loving memory of Amy
Chesed Fund
William & Leslie Schroeder / In memory of loved ones we added to the Yizkor book
Choir Fund
Maida & Glenn Fund / In memory of Aileen Hammerman, mother/mother-in-law of Shelley and Rick Green
Sue Abrams / In memory of Shelley Green's mother, Aileen Hammerman
Lauren Solomon / In memory of Aileen Hammerman, mother of Shelley Hammerman Green, mother-in-law of Rick Green, and grandmother of Hannah and Michaela
Marcy Epstein Hoban & Don Hoban / In appreciation to Harold and Ann Seigel for their business
William & Leslie Schroeder / In honor of Waky, with best wishes for a very belated Happy Special Birthday
Rita & Larry Grossman / In memory of Aileen (Chaya Leah) Hammerman, Shelley Green's mother
Judy & Gary Budiansky / In memory of Aileen Hammerman, mother of Shelley Hammerman Green
Dan & Shelley Klein / In memory of Aileen Hammerman
Marcy Epstein Hoban & Don Hoban / In honor of Shoshana Zuckerman's wedding
Robert & Kathie Becker / In memory of Aileen Hammerman
Ina & Malcolm Burdine / In memory of Aileen Hammerman
General Fund
Dan & Shelley Klein / In memory of Tina Kaplan
Alan Berko & Peggy Flaherty Berko
The AldersGate UMC of Chelmsford / In honor of Congregation Beth Elohim for the use of the Brotherhood Food Truck at the Vacation Bible Camp at the AldersGate UMC of Chelmsford
Judy & Gary Budiansky / In memory of Irving and Gertrude Budiansky
Jane Weiss / For attending Kol Nidre services
The CBE Board / In honor of Shoshana and Joe's wedding. Mazel tov!
Ronni Kenger / In memory of Tina Kaplan
Ina & Malcolm Burdine / In memory of Tina Kaplan
Ina & Malcolm Burdine / In memory of William Hyman
Chips & David Naparstek / In honor of Shosh and Joe's wedding, with best wishes from Chips and David Naparstek
Robert & Catherine Block / In memory of Dr. & Mrs. Joseph H. Block
Michael Biales & Sarah Coletti / In memory of Karl Biales at the time of his Yahrzeit
High Holiday Appeal
Ronni Kenger / In memory of my parents, Jerome and Stella Saks
Na'aseh Social Justice Fund
Marcy Epstein Hoban & Don Hoban / In honor of Rick Green for his unwavering commitment and dedication to our community through a myriad of snap shots and the weekly Star-Lite
Rabbi's Discretionary Fund
Marcy Epstein Hoban & Don Hoban / In honor of Rick Green for his unwavering commitment and dedication to our community through a myriad of snap shots and the weekly Star-Lite
George & Lauren Morton / In honor of Rabbi David, the interim rabbi search committee, the CBE staff, and the co-presidents
Steven & Barbara Rosenthal / Thank you Rabbi David for conducting a baby naming ceremony
Rabbi Lewis Mintz Fund
Dan & Shelley Klein / In honor of Sal Lopes on becoming a Zaide
William & Leslie Schroeder
Chips & David Naparstek / In honor of Rabbi Mintz, with love and respect from Chips and David Naparstek
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The People of Chelm Want to Know... | |
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ANSWER TO QUESTION POSED ABOVE: The Jewish tradition is to pray three times every day, not just on Yom Kippur or other Holy Days. So there is a service for each period of the day when prayer should be recited. These services are Shacharit, or morning service; Mincha, the afternoon service; and Ma’ariv, the evening service.
Yizkor is a memorial service that is included on Yom Kippur and other important days. The name appropriately derives from the Hebrew stem “Zakhor”, meaning “to remember”. Kol Nidre is the opening prayer of the first service on Yom Kippur. Kol Nidre means “all vows” because at this time we declare that all personal vows made to God in the preceding year are annulled, so we can start over again. Yom Kippur closes with the Ne’ilah service. This name comes from the Hebrew word “to lock,” referring to the symbolic closing of heaven’s gates and the “book of life”. Kol Nidre and Ne’ilah are prayer services that only occur on Yom Kippur.
So the complete correct sequence is as follows:
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Feedback/get in touch with us! | |
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Do you like the new format? What about the content? If there is an individual or effort you’d like to see featured, please let us know!
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For all of the above, please write to communications@bethelohim.org.
Until next time,
The Star editorial and design team —
Gary Budiansky, Maida Fund, Rick Green, Beth Schrager, Lauren Solomon, Shoshana Zuckerman
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