News from Jude Bijou and Attitude Reconstruction™
Joy, Love, and Peace for 2021
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The Three Ultimate Attitudes |
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The Three Ultimate Attitudes
The Three Ultimate Attitudes are bottom lines of how our minds work.
Attitude Reconstruction began as a Blueprint; a complete guide to our six emotions and the predictable things we think, feel, say and do as a result -- all on a simple piece of paper. I had discovered that our emotions exist in opposite pairs -- sadness and joy, anger and love, and fear and peace. Furthermore, each emotion has four core attitudes, which control our every action, thought, and feeling.
It wasn't until years later, however, that I realized that one over-arching concept (an Ultimate Attitude) was the essence of the four attitudes connected to each emotion.
There are three destructive Ultimate Attitudes associated with sadness, anger, and fear.
The three Destructive Ultimate Attitudes
1. Get down on ourselves (indicates unexpressed sadness)
2. Don't accept what is (born of unreleased anger)
3. Overgeneralize and hang out in the future or past (due to stored up fear)
I'm not going to expand on our destructive Ultimate Attitudes except to say that they are very familiar modus operandi that cause us pain. These attitudes manifest in how we act, speak, think, and feel. They are the underlying issues that create our fundamental unhappiness. We all know folks (maybe ourselves) that embody one or more of these three crummy attitudes.
The opposing three Constructive Ultimate Attitudes.
1. Honor ourselves (indicates we experience joy)
2. Accept people and things (brings us love)
3. Stay present and specific (lands us smack in the present)
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Details about Each of the Three Ultimate Attitudes
The three constructive Ultimate Attitudes are universal concepts that are at the root of every major religion and philosophy. I believe that to be "enlightened" means that we truly and deeply live by these three principles. It means we live aligned with these three attitudes and the Constructive side of the Blueprint.
Ultimate Attitude #1 -- Honor yourself. Honoring or loving ourselves means that we unequivocally know that we are whole and complete no matter what. We are worthy and perfect regardless of what we do or have; we are self-reliant, full within ourselves, and independent of other's opinions and judgments. We appreciate and respect ourselves, and we speak up and take action aligned with what we know is best in our hearts/within.
Ultimate Attitude #2 -- Accept other people and situations . Accepting what is means we keep our focus in our own domain, our heart, and act from our intuition, rather than being reactive or governed by what others do, say, or have. We accept what is presented with equanimity and then respond from a place of love. We appreciate and look for the good in our world and we give without a selfish motive. From this stance of acceptance we speak up lovingly about what is true for us.
Ultimate Attitude #3 -- Be present and specific. While the value of staying present is very popular in today's culture, the need to remain specific is not, but "should" be. We use specifics in architecture, all fields of science, music, engineering, medicine, and cooking. However, we often struggle to stay specific in our communication We can handle any problem if we stay focused on what's most important, without bringing in the kitchen sink. We can be understood and find workable solutions if we stay concrete.
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It's Never to Late to Change Your Attitude
And how do we learn to live by these three Ultimate Attitudes? With desire -- with vigilance, practice, devotion, and persistence.
How can we accomplish these lofty goals? Attitude Reconstruction proposes that we:
1) handle our emotions physically and constructively,
2) entertain constructive thoughts,
3) check within for guidance,
4) communicate following Attitude Reconstructions 4 rules of good communication ("I"s, specifics, kindness, and listening), and
5) act in alignment with our hearts.
Every time we align with an ultimate attitude, we feel good. When we make a misstep, just make the correction and proceed.
It's fairly straightforward to enliven the 3 Constructive Ultimate Attitudes by changing your thinking. For example, select one of the 'Reliable Truths' from the box below, write your truth on a 3x5 card, and repeat tenaciously, ignoring all the competing and distracting chatter. Then, when you notice you've slipped into a negative attitude, repeat, and repeat, and repeat until you truly get it. Choose those "reliable truths" that most resonate with you.
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You can "power" on your favorite "truths" anytime you need some help. This can be done in several ways: as a solo activity, like a meditation; while doing other things, such as showering, driving, exercising, waiting in line, or not sleeping; and as a substitute when you realize your thinking is funky. 100,000 reps should do it! Just think about the number of times you've thought or told yourself the opposite. With unstoppable persistence, you will feel the benefits of re-framing how you interpret your every moment.
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Hey Jude!
I'm continually comparing myself and my accomplishments to others.
Comparisons are a no-win situation. You fuel unhappiness, anger, and sadness every time you think someone has something you don't. This is the epitome of not honoring yourself -- the first Destructive Ultimate Attitude. The antidote? Shift your focus from out there, to in here -- yourself. Make a truth bundle along the lines of "What I'm seeking is within me." or "My job is to take care of myself." or "My job is to do the best I can." and repeat it night and day.
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