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So it is not happiness that makes us grateful.
It's gratefulness that makes us happy.
- David Steindl-Rast
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Dear Ella,
In the modern world, we are surrounded by so much abundance that we often fail to see it. It’s easy to take the comforts of our daily lives for granted when headlines about war, famine, and genocide feel like distant realities. But look closer—there are millions across the globe struggling for the most basic needs: clean water, food, medicine, shelter, safety, and dignity.
Children suffering... it’s an unbearable thought for so many of us. And when we understand the long-reaching arms of trauma, it becomes even harder to fathom. No child should ever have to live through the ravages of war or its aftermath.
As we enter this season of gratitude, let us remember that abundance is not just about wealth or possessions; it’s about having enough to share. When you have more than you need, don’t build a fence to keep people out—build a longer table and invite others in!
Gratitude isn’t just about feeling thankful for what we have; it’s about recognizing our privilege and asking how we can extend kindness, generosity, and support to those who need it most. Whether through donations, advocacy, or simply being present for someone, let’s use this time to give back in ways that truly matter.
Rebel Thriver is a nonprofit organization founded on the belief that all women deserve a safe haven—a space to heal and recover from the enduring impact of domestic violence, regardless of their resources. But we cannot do this alone. It takes a Village my friends, and your support makes all the difference. Together, we can transform gratitude into action. Because abundance isn’t just a blessing; it’s a responsibility.
As we head into the holiday season, let us remember what truly matters. It’s not the number of presents under the tree or the invitations we receive, but the impact we make in someone else’s life. The greatest gifts we can offer are kindness, compassion, and the willingness to uplift another in some meaningful way.
Never doubt for a moment that you have the power to change another person's life.
Much Love, Ella
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Ella Hicks, founder of Rebel Thriver, is a trauma and mindfulness teacher and coach dedicated to empowering women on their healing journeys. Her mission extends beyond individual transformation; Ella is committed to fostering a global community where women can find solidarity, strength, and hope. At the heart of her work is a belief in the unshakable resilience of women and the power of connection to create brighter futures.
*If you would like to work with Ella individually or in a small group, reach out to her here: ella@ellahicks.com
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Our private online community, The Village, is a dream come true for many women—a safe place to heal, and it's free for all. As survivors, finding a truly safe space where everyone speaks the same language of healing and support is rare.
The Village is an oasis in the often inauthentic world of social media. Women from all over the globe come together in The Village to learn, heal, find support, and build a vibrant, empowering community.
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Joy By Kimberly Van Tassel | |
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If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment.
- Carlos Santana
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I had a tough childhood, filled with abuse and neglect. For years, it hindered my happiness in adulthood, leaving me afraid to make connections and let people get close. But when I lost my dad, I realized how important it is to connect with others – to share joy.
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I've also learned about joy through my experience with bipolar disorder. It might be hard to understand for those who've never endured the extremes of anxiety and depression, but it has taught me to appreciate things more deeply. Nothing – good or bad – lasts forever. The good days help us get through the bad ones, and the bad ones make us value the good ones even more.
I truly believe that joy has the power to heal us from the inside out if we allow it. It’s as though light emanates from every part of us, even from the creaks and crevices we hide from the world. That light has the power to heal past wounds, strengthen us in the present, and inspire us to dream of a better tomorrow.
But joy doesn’t just happen – it requires a choice. We must choose happiness so that it follows us throughout our lives. We all deserve to have that light shine within us, upon us, and around us. And we all deserve to share that joy with the people we love and who love us.
At this point in my life, I’ve decided that if something doesn’t bring me joy, I will let it go. I have big dreams, high hopes, and a vision for a better tomorrow – and joy is at the center of my life.
There are special people who carry a joyful light within them, inviting those caught in darkness to draw near. I’m deeply grateful for these radiant souls and the joy they so generously share. Joy is magical. It allows us to feel lighter, freer, and gives our minds a much-needed break. It allows happiness to shine through and grants us peace.
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If you like to make your gifts during the holiday season, you may want to try this self care delight with those you love...
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Before you begin, make sure you have all of the supplies needed to complete this project. You’ll need a double boiler, hand mixer, and an airtight container, along with a few key ingredients.
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Did you know that your skin is your largest organ? When buying ingredients for your skin lean towards Organic. These items can all be found at your local grocery store or ordered online for convenience.
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- Add all the ingredients (besides essential oils) to a double boiler. Or make your own double boiler by placing a bowl over a pot of water and bringing it to a boil.
- Once the ingredients have completely melted, place the bowl in the freezer until it’s set up a bit; you should be able to press your thumb into the mixture, and it should hold an indent.
- Add your essential oils of choice (check out more blends below). Finally, whip the ingredients together with a hand mixer or stand-up mixer until white peaks form, about 2-3 minutes.
- Transfer the whipped body butter to an airtight container, such as a glass jar. Enjoy!
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Helpful Tips:
- 20 minutes is about all it takes in the freezer. If you are not able to make an indent in the product right out of the freezer, simply remelt the ingredients and refreeze.
- Thoroughly whip the ingredients for at least 2-3 minutes to ensure the body butter keeps its soft, airy texture.
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If your body butter hardens after a few days, try whipping it with the hand mixer for several additional minutes. It typically lasts for about 8-10 months, but it may melt in a warmer environment. Whenever you’re ready to treat your skin, take out a small amount and massage it gently into your skin.
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Calming
6 drops of lavender
2 drops of frankincense
2 drops of bergamot
Energizing
4 drops of orange
3 drops of lemon
3 drops of lime
2 drops of tangerine
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Soothing
6 drops of wintergreen
3 drops of peppermint
1 drop of ylang ylang
Relaxing
8 drops of lavender
4 drops of rose
2 drops of juniper berry
2 drops of sandalwood
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The Process of Trauma Recovery:
Planting & Harvesting
By Jacqui Fox
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Trauma recovery is much like the process of planting and harvesting. In the beginning, we must first clear the field of debris—old, painful memories and wounds that clutter our minds. This can be exhausting, much like preparing hard, rocky soil for planting. We face what feels like barren ground, and it seems like nothing good will ever grow there again.
But as we begin to plant seeds of healing—whether through therapy, self-compassion, or support from others—we start to nurture hope. These seeds don’t sprout overnight; they take time. In the darkness of the soil, unseen by us, growth is happening. We water the seeds with patience and allow ourselves to rest, trusting the process.
Just like a harvest takes a season to fully bloom, so does healing. There will be moments of doubt, and we may question if anything is growing at all. But slowly, life begins to emerge—a new sense of peace, a deeper understanding of ourselves. And when the time is right, the harvest comes. It may not look exactly how we imagined, but it’s ours. Each new leaf or fruit is a testament to our resilience and the quiet work we’ve done beneath the surface.
Recovery is not a one-time event, but a cycle. After the harvest, we prepare the ground again, always growing, always renewing. Each season of healing makes us stronger, reminding us that no matter how barren the soil once seemed, life can grow again.
I use the analogy of plant and harvest to describe my healing journey because, like planting seeds, the process began with small steps, often hidden beneath the surface. I had to nurture those seeds with patience, care, and trust that something would eventually grow, even when I couldn’t see progress. There were seasons of doubt, where nothing seemed to change, and times when the weight of growth felt too slow.
But as the seasons passed, I began to notice the sprouts of resilience and understanding pushing through the soil. My healing didn’t happen all at once; it came in stages, just as a crop grows—first the roots, then the stem, then the full bloom. And while the harvest isn’t always exactly what I envisioned, it’s a reminder that all the work, all the waiting, was worth it. Even in the toughest times, something beautiful can take root and flourish.
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Beneath the soil, I press my pain,
hands heavy from the weight of it. The earth feels cold, unyielding,
yet I plant, unsure if anything will grow. I leave the seeds in silence,
knowing they need time,
knowing healing moves slowly,
beneath the surface, out of sight. Through long nights and quiet days,
I watch, unsure if hope is even possible. But beneath, unseen, something stirs,
drawing strength from rain and tears alike. When the time comes,
new life emerges, quietly at first—
the fruit of what I buried long ago.
Not what I expected,
but enough,
to remind me that nothing is wasted. Even in the hardest ground,
something can grow. The field, once barren,
is alive again.
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Serving up New Holiday Merchandise Soon... | |
Keep an eye on your inbox!
Get your orders in early for your favorites this year. | |
The Issues Live in Our Tissues
By Kyra Strasberg | |
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If frightening sensations are not given the time and attention they need to move through the body and resolve or dissolve, the individual will continue to be gripped by fear. ~Peter Levine
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Does anyone truly know what happens when your partner, your lover, the person you've given your heart and soul to, strikes out at you? The initial shock. The disbelief. The inner turmoil. The overwhelming sadness. These are just a few of the things that happen in the mind. But let’s talk about the body. What happens to the body when your psyche takes a hit? | |
An example: On your way out the door, you drop your coffee and spill it everywhere. As you turn to clean it up, you slam your right shoulder into the doorframe. No time to dwell—you quickly clean up and head to work. But when you pull your laptop bag from the car, the strap catches on the seatbelt, almost yanking you back into the car. You try again with your right arm. Later, you set up for a big presentation, but it’s not a Zoom meeting as usual—it's a PowerPoint, and you’re awkwardly pointing with your right arm. The day continues in a similar fashion, with small mishaps that all involve that same right shoulder. When you finally get home, you shove the stuck door open with your right shoulder. The coffee spill from the morning crosses your mind, but you brush it off. You grab a glass of wine and collapse on the couch. The next morning, your shoulder aches, but you can’t even remember why. Same shoulder, same door, same laptop bag. Who has time to deal with it? A few months later, your shoulder is no better—and it’s hard to move it at all. You visit the doctor, and the diagnosis is a torn rotator cuff. Surgery is needed, but you keep putting it off. | |
Does this sound familiar? Can you see how disconnected you became from your body in the beginning? From the very first hit, whether physical or verbal, your focus wasn’t on yourself. You had places to go, meetings to attend. It may seem like a small thing, but this is exactly what happens in domestic violence. The first few hits—physical or verbal—are brushed aside as you try to make things better. Even the first harsh words create that disconnect with your body. Once that separation starts, it only grows. You try harder to "do the right thing" and avoid making him mad. You want the person you love to see how hard you’re working to make them happy, but in doing so, you lose sight of where it all began. Over time, the chasm grows so wide that you can't even remember what it felt like to be whole. You can no longer reconnect with your body, forgetting what it was like to be a self-assured woman, standing strong in your power with your own opinions, desires, and inherent softness. That woman has disappeared because you no longer feel connected to your body. | |
As a professional ballerina, it was essential for me to be deeply aware of every inch of my body. But after enduring years of domestic violence, I lost that connection. I couldn’t even feel my own heartbeat. I vividly remember sitting alone, wrapped in a wet towel, while he belittled me. I could feel my chest sinking, my posture collapsing — I was crumbling. I kept wondering, "Can't he see what his words are doing to me?" This moment stands out because, as a dancer and yoga teacher, I had always been so attuned to my body. But this abuse wore me down in ways I couldn't explain. Why couldn’t he see the damage he was causing? | |
When I first left, it took months before I could feel my chest expand, to take a deep breath and truly feel my heart. Abusers have a way of separating us from our very essence, filling the space with their noise and weakness. As long as they keep us from focusing on ourselves, they maintain control. For survivors, reconnecting with our bodies is a challenge — a sacred process that can be painful and slow. Yes, physical activities like kickboxing or CrossFit help us regain strength, but the real challenge is slowing down enough to truly feel. This often brings tears and can be complicated by the demands of life, such as caring for children or grappling with addictions. | |
The road back is long, and sometimes, it feels too late. The health consequences of domestic violence are staggering — 75% of survivors experience chronic pain or disease. We must not only shine a light on this crisis but also find ways to support survivors in reclaiming their well-being. It's time to make healing a priority. Learning to sit with sadness and pain is essential, yet so often overlooked. The common advice to "move on" or "forget it" doesn’t work when your body is still holding on to the trauma. The body will always keep the score. | |
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Self – regulation depends on having a friendly relationship with your body.
~Bessel van der Kolk
If you know someone healing from domestic violence, remember this: they need your love, your patience, and most of all, they need you to know that they’re doing the best they can with what they have. Their bodies have to process the trauma too, not just their minds.
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As we move forward on this journey together, may hope light our way, encouraging us to embrace each new day with strength and purpose. Even in the darkest moments, the promise of a brighter tomorrow is always within reach. Keep your heart open to hope, and let it lead you toward the beautiful possibilities that await.
As we head into the Season of Giving, we kindly ask that you remember Rebel Thriver. Your generosity helps us continue providing resources, support, and healing to women in our community 24/7, 365 days a year. We simply cannot continue this vital work without your donations, which by the way, are tax-deductible.
Please consider becoming a lifeline to the women we serve. Your support, no matter the size, helps bring hope and transformation to those who need it most. Thank you in advance for your compassion and generosity as we work together to create brighter futures.
See you in December!
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We're all just walking each other home. - Ram Dass | | | | |
