"And all at once, summer collapsed into fall." 

– Oscar Wilde

Dear Ella,

As the summer sun fades and autumn takes root, we are reminded of life’s constant transitions. For many of us living with complex trauma, change can feel like an overwhelming storm that arrives unexpectedly. Yet, with every transition, no matter how challenging, there is an opportunity for growth. We have a choice in how we navigate these shifts. Sometimes, simply breathing into the change and grounding ourselves in the present can help ease the way forward.

Recently, my own resilience has been tested in ways I never imagined. Last month, my father underwent emergency brain surgery due to a traumatic brain injury (TBI). At 83, he’s now relearning things that once came so easily to him. Watching him face these new challenges with grace has served as a powerful reminder of how essential it is to create space for grace in our own lives.

As a family, we’ve come together to embrace this new reality. In a few days, my father will return home, and while the uncertainty is daunting, we are committed to walking this path with him. It’s a major transition for all of us, but we will face it together with love and determination.

I want to share a bit of wisdom that I learned from this experience, this is especially critical for those of you caring for aging parents. If you or a loved one experiences a head injury, even if the initial scans come back clear, please follow up with additional brain scans.

Weeks after my father’s injury, his brain began to bleed slowly—something we didn’t know could happen. As my his executive functioning continued to steadily decline, we brought him back to the ER, only to learn of the bleed. His neurosurgeon told us that this is a common occurrence, one they see far too often. If we had known to follow up, we could have acted sooner. So, if you’re caring for aging parents who are prone to falls or are on blood thinners, please stay vigilant.

As we approach the Autumnal Equinox on the 22nd—a time for balance and reflection—I hope we can all invite a little more grace into our lives. Change may be inevitable, but by supporting one another, we can weather anything with love & resilience.

Much Love, 

Ella Hicks, founder of Rebel Thriver, is a trauma and mindfulness coach who empowers women worldwide on their healing journeys. As a domestic violence survivor, she brings deep understanding to the complexities of recovery, guiding women to overcome abuse and embrace brighter futures.

* If you would like to work with Ella individually or in a small group, reach out to her here: ella@ellahicks.com

The Space Between

by Kyra Strasberg

Life is full of transitions, however, transitions to a survivor are indeed an entirely different beast. In survivor mode, the unexpected lurks around every corner. The space between leaving your abuser, going to a shelter, living with family, seeking help, and potentially changing your identity is frightening. The trauma bond created by the abuse makes this shift even scarier. Having finally grown the courage to walk away from the devil that you know and fall into the abyss of the unknown is terrifying. If it fails, life could get a whole lot worse. 

Life is a series of ever changing events. To be human is to live in a constant state of flux. To a survivor, transitions are the dark monster that lives between the devil we know and the devil we don’t. In the initial days of freedom, I did not feel free. I felt bound to the lies and abuse I had suffered. It was the only thing I knew. I wanted to blink and have it all be over, to have the nightmare disappear and fade into the background noise of my mind. I could not see the power and need for space. Now I do.

Claude Debussy, the French composer, said, “Music is the space between the notes.” As a ballerina, it wasn’t the big jumps or the multiple spins that mattered. It was the transitions, the space between steps. Those transitions were the very strength and foundation I needed to perform the grand jetes and the multiple pirouettes. Survivor transitions feel like hell, but they are necessary. We need the space to wake up. We need the distance to get a better view. We need the time to recover and take care of our bodies and minds. We need the transition to reconnect to our own hearts. 



Being two years out of my situation, I have grown a healthy respect for transitions. They are a spaciousness that may feel like emptiness, not something to run away from, but rather an opportunity for growth and expansion. They are the space between the crescendos of the abuse and the drum roll of a much anticipated and brighter future.

As I adjust to my freedom, I can loosen the white knuckled grip that I needed to stay afloat. Standing in the middle of my transition I remind myself to just let go. This is not forever. I tell myself that now is my time, just like the caterpillar, to fight my way out of the cocoon to build my muscles and my belief in myself because whatever is in front of me is far better than what is behind me.

Join us in the Village!

Our private online community, The Village, is a dream come true for many women—a safe place to heal, and it's free for all. As survivors, finding a truly safe space where everyone speaks the same language of healing and support is rare.

The Village is an oasis in the often inauthentic world of social media. Women from all over the globe come together in The Village to learn, heal, find support, and build a vibrant, empowering community.

Seasons of Change

By Kimberly Van Tassel

Painting the colors of the wind

In shades of bright

Reds, yellows and oranges

Cool and invigorating

That wind is

Whipping leaves from the tree

Blankets of white peace

Covering the world

Restoring it to original purity

And bringing about a cool form of calm

And the laughter of small children

Tempting fate on a small hill and a piece of metal.

Signs of rejuvenation

As green begins to grow

Flowers scenting the air,

Birds making music

The dormant people emerge

Into the world of revitalization.

Scorching heat, takes the breath away

Leaving comfort behind to be replaced by

Uncomfortable, uneasy, stifling emotion

Only relieved by temporary

Brush with chlorinated cold water

And the laughter of children jumping

Through sprinkles of water falling from the sky.

Each season of change

Allows each of us to grow

Within the limitless confines that is our existence

Moving about our daily grind

Without a thought to the time and speed of the

Following day.



Wildflowers Bloom in October

When women come together, rooted in love and guided by the wisdom of our ancestors, we become a force that cannot be silenced or subdued. This is the power of the divine feminine, the ancient spirit that flows through us, connecting us to the earth, to each other, and to all of the generations of women who walked this path before us.

I invite you to join me on a profound journey of rediscovery and reclamation, Wildflowers. In a world where women often feel lost and disconnected, hasn't the time come for us to reconnect with the resilience of our lineages, and the wisdom of all of our grandmothers?

In a world that often tries to tame our wildness, we reclaim it. We remember that our strength lies not in conforming to the expectations of others, but in embracing the deep, untamed parts of ourselves. With love as our compass and the whispers of our ancestors guiding our way, we rise together.

We are the daughters of the women who refused to be broken, the granddaughters of the women who kept the flames of hope alive. And now, it is our turn to carry the torch, to be the light for those who come after us.

"Wildflowers is more than just a journey; it’s a safe & sacred space for women to heal. By uncovering and acknowledging intergenerational trauma, it often means the getting the opportunity to rediscover your inner child. Ella is also a survivor, making her relatable, honest, approachable. She creates a nurturing and supportive environment that was really needed for my profound transformation." – Emily H

Wildflowers is for women seeking healing from abuse, domestic violence, and many other traumas associated with growing up as a women in our male dominated societies. We cannot heal in isolation. We need to come together, because we need each other. Join me and the power of a women's circle in October.

Click here for more information and to register

Classic Spanish Gazpacho

Compliments of Shawn S.

Ingredients:

• 2 lbs ripe tomatoes, cored and quartered (about 3 medium)
• 2-inch chunk stale French or Italian bread (any stale crusty bread or roll will work, may substitute with plain breadcrumbs or plain croutons)
• Approx ¼ c water to moisten bread/breadcrumbs/croutons
• 2 cucumbers, chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
• 1 clove garlic, peeled and chopped
• ½ small onion, peeled and chopped (optional)
• 2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 1-2 Tbsp white, balsamic, or red wine vinegar
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Soak bread in water approx. 2 minutes, then squeeze out excess water. If using breadcrumbs/croutons, stir in a bit of water til moistened and crumbly.
2. Place moistened bread/breadcrumbs/croutons and all other ingredients into large bowl, mix well.
3. Transfer the combined ingredients in batches to food processor or blender and puree til almost smooth. (I prefer it chunky like salsa.) Taste for seasoning. Add additional salt, pepper, and vinegar as needed.
4. Pour pureed mixture into pitchers to chill in refrigerator. Can serve after chilling, though usually better the next day to allow flavors to meld. 
5. Serve with individual bowls of garnishes if desired. Enjoy!

Suggested garnishes: honeydew melon balls; seeded and coarsely chopped green, yellow, and/or red bell peppers; coarsely chopped hard boiled eggs; coarsely chopped cucumber; coarsely chopped tomatoes; coarsely chopped onion; plain croutons; coarsely chopped fresh cilantro; or fresh squeezed lime juice.

Transitions Through Trauma

By Jacqui Fox



Transitions are the gateways to new beginnings, full of potential and promise. They may come with challenges and uncertainties, but they also bring opportunities for growth and self-discovery. As we navigate through these changes, we find strength we never knew we had, and we emerge with newfound resilience and wisdom. Embrace the journey,

for each step forward is a testament

to out courage and the beautiful transformation that awaits. Remember, every ending is a chance to start anew, and every transition is a celebration of our evolving story.

Transition Through Trauma People transition through trauma in various ways, as the journey is unique to each individual. However, some common paths and methods can help facilitate healing and recovery. Here are several approaches:

1. Acknowledgment and Acceptance: Recognizing the trauma and accepting its impact is often the first step. This can involve understanding that the trauma was real and that the emotional responses are valid.

2. Seeking Professional Help: Therapists and counselors can provide tools and strategies to process trauma. Approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and trauma-focused therapy are designed to help individuals work through their experiences.

3. Building a Support System: Surrounding ourselves with supportive friends, family, or support groups can provide comfort and understanding. Sharing experiences with others who have been through similar situations can reduce feelings of isolation.

4. Practicing Self-Care: Engaging in activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being can help. This might include exercise, meditation, journaling, or any hobby that brings joy and relaxation.

5. Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness practices can help us stay grounded in the present moment and reduce anxiety and stress associated with trauma.

6. Developing Coping Skills: Learning new ways to manage stress and triggers can empower us to handle difficult emotions and situations more effectively.

7. Reframing and Finding Meaning: Some of us may find it helpful to reframe our trauma, focusing on personal growth, resilience, and the lessons we have learned. This can lead to a sense of purpose or a desire to help others.

8. Establishing Routine and Stability: Creating a stable and predictable routine can provide a sense of safety and control, which is often disrupted by trauma.

9. Artistic Expression: Expressing emotions through art, music, writing, or other creative outlets can be therapeutic and provide a way to process complex feelings

10. Patience and Self-Compassion: Understanding that healing is a non-linear process and being kind to ourselves throughout the journey is crucial

These affirmations can help reinforce a positive mindset during times of change, encouraging you to see transitions as opportunities for growth and new beginnings.

• I am capable of adapting to new situations and challenges with confidence
• Every transition brings me closer to the person I am meant to become.
• I let go of what no longer serves me and make space for new growth.
• I am supported and guided through every phase of my journey.
• I trust that every ending is a new beginning filled with possibilities.
• I am resilient, and I trust my ability to navigate through any changes.
• I let go of what no longer serves me and make space for new growth.
• I am supported and guided through every phase of my journey.
• I trust that every ending is a new beginning filled with possibilities.
• I am strong, and I face change with courage and optimism I welcome transformation, knowing it will lead me to a better version of myself

These affirmations can help reinforce a positive mindset during times of change, encouraging you to see transitions as opportunities for growth and new beginnings.

Climbing Kilimanjaro

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Climbing Kilimanjaro Sticker

As we journey together, may hope light our path and inspire us to embrace each day with renewed strength and purpose. Remember, even in the darkest times, the promise of a brighter tomorrow is always within reach. Keep your heart wide open to hope, and let it guide you toward the beautiful possibilities that await.

Please remember that Rebel Thriver is a nonprofit organization. We need your help to continue the life saving work that we do 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. We simply cannot offer the support that we do without your donations, which by the way, are tax deductible. Please consider becoming a lifeline to the women of our community, and thank you in advance for your support.

See you in October!



"We're all just walking each other home." - Ram Dass