A Bond is a Two Way Street
by Liz Bales, VMD
The human-animal bond is magical. I have been drawn to that magic of animals since the day I was born. I did not come from a family of animal lovers and we did not have any pets in the house. So, I spent my time dreaming up ways to be with animals. I knew the names of every dog in the neighborhood and started a dog walking business at five years old and not long after found a barn with horses and cats where I spent my childhood. I was destined to be a veterinarian.
Perhaps the only thing more magical than animals is the privilege of being a healer. In my 20 years as a veterinarian I have healed animals, and I have witnessed the healing that happens to a human when they invite an animal into their life. There is a plethora of research proving that pets have a positive impact on human health and happiness.
Dog ownership gets people outside, where they exercise and socialize. This exercise helps to decrease blood pressure, cholesterol, and triglycerides. Having a pet lowers the owner’s stress and feelings of loneliness and depression. Pets can help manage loneliness and depression by giving us companionship. These are the gifts of the human animal bond that await a potential pet owner.
When I was growing up, my father used to say, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” So, I ask you to think about my father’s question. What are you giving your pet in return for all of those gifts? Providing the basic food, water and shelter will sustain the life of your pet, but is that enough in return for all of those gifts?
At its best, the human-animal bond is a two-way street.
Our pets make us feel safe and loved. Did you know that each species gives and receives love and affection differently? Food seems to be a universal language of love, and so we find feeding our pets meals and treats irresistible. As a result, more than half of all of the pet cats and dogs in America are dangerously overweight or obese. Obesity has major health and behavioral consequences for our pets.
If you want to strengthen the bond with your pet, learn what makes their species feel loved. One of the greatest expressions of human love is a hug. Many animal lovers are shocked to learn that dogs and cats do not express love by hugging and in fact find being hugged frightening and emotionally uncomfortable. Some dogs and cats are so fearful of a hug that they freeze, which we misread as enjoyment. Other dogs and cats are so uncomfortable and threatened by being hugged that they will bite the hugger.
To grow the bond between you and your pet, learn what makes them feel scared and what makes them feel safe. You can structure their life to minimize frightening things and circumstances and maximize things and circumstances that make them feel safe.
We used to think that successful pet ownership was based on pack hierarchy and the expression of dominance. The techniques to achieve becoming the “leader of the pack” were typically to use punishment, force and fear to achieve the behavior that was desired. The result of this type of relationship is now known to create an anxious pet that behaves because they are afraid. Not exactly the human animal bond that we hope for.
We now know that meeting the innate needs of our dogs and cats makes them feel safe and relaxed, which builds their bond to us. Training using positive reinforcement techniques creates trust and a dog or cat that performs the behavior requested willingly, which is a symbol of the mutual benefit of the relationship. It only makes sense to give our dogs and cats love and affection in the way that a dog or cat actually receives and enjoys it.
Learning what these things are and how to do them is the gift that we owe our pets in return for all that they give us. I am excited to share these with you in the year to come. Look for the series Techniques to Strengthen the Human Animal Bond in the newsletter over the next year. Your pet will thank you for it.
