This email will only pique the interest of those obsessed with becoming a better version of themselves and opened to new forms of thinking. So if this is not you, stop reading. I am putting this out into the world with no goal in mind. I write what I am about to explain to myself, not to others. Writing to myself helps me better understand the point of everything. But I know that there are some people out there that could possibly benefit from it as well. If this sounds like you, keep reading! If it does not, no hard feelings whatsoever. Nothing is universal.
Since my father's passing over two years ago, this constant question keeps nagging at my psyche:
"What's the point? We all die and are forgotten."
This has led me to numerous life realizations. The biggest one being: we never know anything for certain. The more we learn, the less we know. Because once I learn more, I condemn the truth I thought I knew previously as non-truth. So as we continue to evolve, we continue to prove our previous selves wrong. Our life is a constant cycle of learning how wrong we are. There is no destination. The meaning of life is the process of looking for the meaning itself. Evolving by constantly extending our human limitations. But this evolution involves admitting how wrong we constantly are.
My direction as a person is constantly changing. The person I think I want to be soon evaporates the more I grow. As a result, I continue to know less and less about the world and even myself. Because of this, I have become obsessed with learning the subjects pertaining to psychology, philosophy, theology (Buddhism and Christianity especially), states of consciousness, and mysticism. All of these are pulled from the question stated above and trying to find my father.
With my constantly changing persona, I have had the urge to write recently. Writing helps me better understand life and its meaning of it. As a result, I have had the vision of writing a book. As of now, my plan for this book is called Daily Meaning or Unsolvable Meditations. I'm sure it will change... ha! The idea is that daily devotional type of books are much easier to start for newer writers. This book will be centered around daily meditations on life's unsolvable questions, hopefully helping others to find meaning in their lives. The meaning of life, as I stated above from what I know now, is the process of finding meaning itself. But as I stated above, this could certainly change as my psyche continues to grow. There is no final answer when it comes to life.
This book will revolve around life's toughest questions. Life's best questions are the ones that can't be answered. But meditating on these unsolvable questions is one of the best ways to increase meaning in our lives. At least, from my own personal experience. This writing is not meant to be something that portrays to have all the answers. It's only writing to show different forms of thinking that could open up the possibility of a better version of other people. To become the best version of yourself, you have to admit how wrong you were previously. This is evolution. So as a forewarning: I am sure there are many concepts I write about that I will later find incorrect while I continue to extend my limits of understanding.
Because of this new aspiration of writing a book, I have to start somewhere, and the only way to get better at writing is to write. As well as putting yourself out there for all to judge while looking like an idiot to most. I am emailing you today to see if you want to join an exclusive email list where I share my unsolvable meditations. The life contemplations I write about each morning, trying to get somewhat closer to life's unsolvable questions. If the contemplation of life and philosophy is something that interests you, click the link below to subscribe to my unsolvable meditations. Below is an example of the daily meditation I questioned this morning. I will be posting these daily meditations as well on our CTG Growth and CTG Mindset blogs. Growth and Mindset meditations will obviously differ depending on the subject of the questions.
As always feedback helps me a lot, no matter the opinion. I am sure some English majors out there are pulling their hair out right now. I will not be offended. I still have a lot to learn when it comes to writing and everything for the matter. Let's see where this goes!
My unsolvable mediation on the morning of December 21st 2022:
Dec 21 2022
While life grows, so does the amount of things to juggle. Making moderation and balance harder and harder to find. Recently, a constant feeling of wishing I had more time to work for my personal growth clouds over me. So many things to juggle, and the feeling of not having enough time to learn to become the best version of myself. What does it mean to be the best version of myself? Who do I want to be? The answers to these questions are constantly changing. So this would then mean that these questions have no final answer. The best life questions are the ones that can’t be solved. But as I believe now, the answers to unsolvable questions are continuing to look for the answers despite this fact. Finding the meaning of life is the process of looking for it itself. So the answer to the best version of myself is the process of trying to find it.
But how do I be the best version of myself if my peaks of understanding happen when I am not around others? As I am realizing, there is a big trade-off here. I can either understand more and get closer to the unsolvable answers, but as a result, I am spending much of my time alone. It’s not that I am unhappy in this state, but I am definitely happier when I am surrounded by others. I believe loneliness is a universal truth. We are never truly happier by ourselves. So am I really the best version of myself if I understand more but in a state of less happiness? Or is understanding less while being happy a better version of me? As always, the answer seems to be moderation. Which is a hard line to find. To be the best version of myself, both of these have to be a part of the equation. The reason I know this is because happiness certainly does play a big part in the equation. It’s an amplifier. And if speed is the name of the game, happiness would in theory help us understand concepts faster. Understand what exactly though? Understanding the meaning of life. Understanding how to be the best version of ourselves. By ourselves, we are completely empty. By empty, I mean meaningless. Nothing matters by ourselves alone. It’s when you add others to the equation that you make something meaningful. You could become the closest thing to perfect in becoming the best version of yourself, but without others to share it with, how does that matter at all? This seems to be the reason why God created us in the first place. With God on a level of consciousness that we can’t even comprehend, why would he ever need to create us? Because by ourselves, all things are empty, including the creator of everything.
So what should I do now in the moments of loneliness and understanding paired with others and happiness? Meditation around appreciation paired with acceptance. Appreciate the moment of now however you are spending it. To appreciate something means focusing on the present and the absence of the concept. If per se, you are by yourself and increasing your understanding, appreciate this newfound understanding, but also feel the absence of others and why it’s so meaningful to your happiness. You would apply this and vice versa with anything you are trying to moderate. Because as we know, we must accept our human limitations. We are never going to get everything right. And as we continue to learn, we are always going to prove our previous selves wrong. We can’t do everything all at once. So for this meditative problem above, pair appreciation and acceptance when you feel you have run into this problem again. Understanding needs happiness. Happiness needs understanding.
So now that I know that surrounding yourself with others, paired with asking the most important life questions by ourselves for heightened understanding are both needed… what’s next? The next question to ask is who do I want to be?This will lead us in the direction of understanding the right things. Without this direction, we can certainly understand a lot, but most of it will be useless if it’s not guiding us to what the best version of ourselves looks like. There will always be more to learn and understand. This doesn’t mean we are dissatisfied with the way we are now, it just means we are aware of the understanding of evolution. There is always another extension of limit to pursue. There never is a point where you reach an actual destination. Life itself is a constant process of evolution. So where do we want this evolution to lead us?
Part 2 coming soon for our next unsolvable meditation…