Whew. There's a lot going on right now in the world and/or your life that might be bringing up a whole range of emotions. This is not always fun, but when we are "triggered" by people or events there is always an opportunity for self-examination, healing and growth if we have the courage to "go there," to walk through the discomfort or pain, and try to understand the root of our response beyond the superficial.

This ultimately helps us relate to ourselves and each other with more empathy and compassion. I hope you take some time and allow yourself to process and feel whatever you need to, as the outer world is merely a reflection of our inner one, and it all starts with self-knowledge, self-acceptance and self-love. The more of us who do this, the more our world will evolve into a kinder, gentler place.

Another related theme that's come up this week is the topic of boundaries, which are much easier to define and hold when we have the aforementioned self-wholeness, hence today's PGG essay. The PGG Video of the Week reminds you to know who you are and find stability in yourself, and this week's Instagram post reminds us how important it is for humans to be seen, which is something I've been able to do for clients. And here's a fun bonus post about how it took me years to understand the significance of some ruins I visited back in 2007...

Since it's the last week of Women's History Month, just a reminder that I've been celebrating the 20 year anniversary of The Women's Mosaic (TWM) (see the PGG note talking about it here), I've been adding photos of past events on the TWM Facebook Page, so those of you who were part of TWM (or curious about it) might want to take a stroll down memory lane there, and keep checking back. This Instagram post talks about how much of a personal growth experience this photo project has been for me.

Lastly, if you look forward to and benefit from these weekly missives and PGG essays and want to show your gratitude, any donations for my efforts are welcome and appreciated here: And as always, please feel free to contact me with any comments about anything.

Big hug <3

P.S. Want to get unstuck and on track in your career and life in 2021 and beyond? Check out the website for my individual coaching services.
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"I love your PGG newsletters - one of the only ones I actually read in its entirety. They are excellently written, and spot on. Thanks for being so inspirational and reflective!" ~ Tom D.
This Is Not a Test
Originally published November 23 2017

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. ~ Brené Brown

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. — James A. Garfield

We’ve had many truths exposed these past few weeks with the explosion of #metoo and a multitude of people coming out about the sexual abuse/harassment/assault they have experienced, particularly at the hands of someone who had power or authority over them in some way. Although shocking and beyond unpleasant to admit to as a society, this is a liberating, learning and healing moment and is best not filled with hate and vengeance.

Whether or not you have encountered such situations directly — on either side of the equation — there are ways we can all think about what’s happening and how we can apply it to our lives, because at the root of this issue is the concept of boundaries, which is something everyone deals with on many levels, not just sexual.

As whole, complete adults, one of the most important things we can do for our mental, emotional and physical health is know who we are and where, when or how we may or may not be compromised at the least, or invaded and violated at the worst. We can then find a way to assert or protect ourselves with integrity; doing so is an essential demonstration of self-love and self-care and can have many manifestations, in all aspects of our lives.

The more subtle example is when someone crosses the boundaries of what you have determined to be your needs regarding your time and energy. As I say in every one of my talks and to all of my clients, your time and your energy is your most precious resource — so how are you using it, and/or how might you be letting others abuse or “steal” it from you?

We live in the School of Life and therefore there are tests — stresses and strains to help mold and shape us into who we are; they are the means by which we can uncover what is true for us. To give meaning and definition to our existence we need resistance, we need friction, we need to be challenged from time to time. We can then know ourselves even better and strengthen the core muscle of who we are. We become more integrated and we heal. So yes, others will test our boundaries, but tests are the grit of life and what ultimately inform us about our deepest sense of selves, create our reality and help us to grow and evolve.

When tested, you need to stand up for yourself, but first you need to know who that self is: What defines you? What makes you you? What constitutes your self-preservation? This is where boundaries come in. If someone is not respectful of them or your time and energy, you must be OK with walking away, you need to be OK with saying NO and dealing with the consequences. I realize this is easier said than done, especially when other factors like fear, intimidation, blackmail and/or violence are part of the equation. I am talking about having a baseline of self-worth and self-respect, that, when developed, can actually act as a preventive measure so that those types of situations will become less likely to occur because of your stronger internal foundation that then resonates as a more empowered external, and hence, immune vibration.

Anything you are going through is an opportunity for growth and healing for you and the other parties involved, depending on how each one relates to the process. What are you currently being confronted with? Is there something you need to change or something you need to defend?

This means it’s a time to stretch your muscles and question yourself — take an honest look at your behavior, beliefs and choices. How malleable can you be? Some things are not meant to be malleable if you have worked on them over time. Some things are, in fact, meant to be impermeable.

But this is not about being rigid — it’s about knowing your core values and taking a stand for them when necessary. It’s about not letting anyone question you or convince you otherwise after you’ve already explored/seen/experienced evidence and come to a conclusion, keeping in mind that perhaps there is room for growth, change, adjustment, or another point of view. Take some time to reflect, but if you are clear with yourself and you’ve done conscious work and have experience that proved to be true, then you are just being tested to see if you will unapologetically stand in that truth. This forms the foundation of who you are and cannot be shaken.

From microcosm to macrocosm, it’s important to know what is or isn’t acceptable to YOU — whether in your personal or professional relationships or in relation to the world and culture at large — and not be influenced by who is the loudest, meanest, most patronizing, or anyone trying to make it seem like you are unreasonable or crazy just because you are not going along with the crowd.

We are living in extraordinary times, and with social media our lives are now magnified, exaggerated, distorted and accelerated, so it is even more crucial that we know who we are and not be swayed by or swept up in the currents of the day. We have to find the balance between our individuality, relationships and the group mentality; when not to overstep; how to protect; and when to stretch our boundaries. And to understand that some things, like love, compassion and empathy know no boundaries.

Need a little help preparing for any upcoming exams or pop quizzes? Give me a buzz and I’ll be the tutor to provide the drills, exercises and shifts you need to find the strength to handle whatever life throws your way to see what you’re made of!

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If you're looking for some compassionate candor and a dose of tough love, Kristina is the coach for you.... I came into this really lacking clarity and walked away with a sense of relief. Can't recommend her enough. ~ Kevin R.

Now is a great time to take stock of and get on track with your career and life with clarity, balance and direction.

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"Kristina patiently helped me to discover and embrace my true north. I was stuck in a past identity that blocked me from the person I wanted to become."


Heart & Soul: The Key to Success in 2021 and Beyond

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Navigating times of transition for healing and personal growth

Using the Great Pause for Personal & Professional Development

Staying Motivated Throughout the Job Search Process

Authentic Branding: Letting the Real You Shine in Any Situation

Who Are You & What Are You Supposed to Be Doing with Your Life?

Stepping Stones for Success

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