June 2022

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"This Just In..."

It's here. Finally, summer is come. (going for poetry there).

Marshmallow roasts under midnight skies, skinny dipping in too-cold ocean waters, opening the lake house, closing the 401K so you could open the lake house, shorts for the next 10 weeks, floaty dresses and bare feet on the beach, the smell of fresh cut grass, the simple pleasure of a Degas painting or a Bach concerto (or Billy Joel on 11), fresh - real - fresh peaches. And strawberries that taste - omg - like strawberries.

It's summer. Get out there. Put away the jumble of noise, fears and little terrors. Soak in the joys!

June 14^th

Fly It High!

Whose Clock Is It?

Korf’s Clock

Korf’s clock is of a novel sort

In which two pairs of hands are used:

One pair points forwards as it ought,

The other backwards a la Proust.

When it says eight it’s also four,

When it says nine it’s also three;

A single glance and you no more

Need fear the ancient Enemy.

For with this wondrous clock you’ll find

As, Janus-like, it turns about

(To such an end it was designed)

Time simply cancels itself out.

Palmström’s Clock

But Palmström’s clock has a “higher” power,

Balanced as lightly as a flower.

Scorning a set pedestrian pace,

It keeps time with a certain grace

And will, in answer to a prayer,

Go en retard, en arriéré.

One hour, two hours, three hours indeed,

Sympathizing with our need!

Though clockwork in its outward part

It hides within — a tender heart.

— Christian Morgenstern

Built in 1586, the town hall in the old Jewish ghetto of Prague bears two clocks: a traditional clock tower with four faces bearing Roman numerals and a second clock bearing Hebrew numerals. The hands on the conventional clocks turn clockwise; those on the Hebrew clock turn counterclockwise. Cool.

In case you want to visit, it’s in the Flamingo neighborhood of Rio! Admit it – you want to visit.

This 19th-century sculpture manages to find two characters from Goethe’s Faust in a single piece of Sycamore. It resides in the Salar Jung Museum in Hyderabad, India. The artist is unknown. More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salar_Jung_Museum

In the 1990s, South Baltimore native Gordon Beard compiled a series of phrasebooks to help bewildered travelers understand his city’s residents:

amblanz — ambulance

bobwar — barbed wire

corter — quarter

flare — flower

goff — golf

har — hire

keerful — careful

mare — mayor

neck store — next door

orning — awning

plooshin — pollution

roolty — royalty

twunny — twenty

varse — virus

warsh — wash

yewmid — humid

John Goodspeed, for 17 years a columnist at the Baltimore Evening Sun, had compiled his own list in the 1960s:

ahrsh — Irish

chowld — child

dayon — down

harrid — Howard

koor — car

larnix — larynx

nass — nice

owen — on

shares — showers

urshter — oyster

Apparently the confusion has persisted for decades. “The life of a Baltimore Army lieutenant may have been saved by Baltimore during the Battle of the Bulge in World War II,” Goodspeed (above) once reported. “Military police suspected him of being a German spy in an American uniform, but an M.P. from Baltimore heard the lieutenant pronounce his home town as ‘Balamer’ and passed him as genuine. Only a native can say it that way.”

Name one – get a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card. Name both of them – two chances! Tell us here just who, in their salad days, they were!

Bugatti was born in Italy, built his cars in Germany and died in Paris. He was the first E.U. mogul.

More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Bugatti

Every year in June, a brave group of daredevils in the city of Alesund, Norway stack hundreds of wood pallets to a height of over 130 feet. They then light it on fire in celebration of Midsummer and John the Baptist’s birthday. Why do I know someone would call the fire department if we tried this stunt?

The Forest of Coexistence. by Donghyun Kang

Surreal animal sculptures made of metallic branches pay homage to the gifts of nature

In Kang Dong Hyun's Forest of Coexistence series he creates animals out of steel. His animals are majestic and powerful animals that have been fused from countless metallic branches.  More info here: https://www.instagram.com/donghyun_kang/

When you must insult someone (and we certainly, at times, must) do it with style. These insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

1. "He had delusions of adequacy ” Walter Kerr

2. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill

3. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. - Clarence Darrow

4. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

5. "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

6. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas

7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar Wilde

9. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

10. "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response

11. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here” - Stephen Bishop

12. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

13. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb

14. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

16. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

17. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

18. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

19. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it.” - Groucho Marx

20. The exchange between Winston Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

21. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

22. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard

Yeah, but what’s his name?

You know them by their fancy schmancy name. Tell us who both of them are – we’re on a doubles binge – and you may win a $25 Amazon gift card. In May, John S, Leslie S and Purple C. (yes!) were among the 147 (a record) of you who recognized Willem Dafoe.

Sue A and Gail M (and 64 of you rock and rollers) recognized Shakira whose song, “Waka Waka” still resonates a decade after we first saw it. (Dare you to try to sit still during it) Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRpeEdMmmQ0

A 16th Century German Pomander

It’s a spherical vessel segmented into six compartments containing different spices and herbs (cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, rosemary).

Worn around the neck or waist, pomanders were thought to be a protection against infections and unpleasant smells. Cause it was the 16^th century….

I need a new-ish car. However my bitcoin investments, well, the less said about that, the better. So, if any of you out in Danielsland have one of these cars that you’re will to part with – for $3,500 (I could go $3,750 and some S&H Green Stamps but you’d have to fill the tank with gas) it would be so appreciated. Thanks, way in advance.

That’s a ’55 Chrysler C300. The whitewalls will help me get a date.

That’s a ’38 Voisin C28 Saliot Cabriolot. It’s French but the convertible will help me get a date.

Oh, the ’24 Mercedes 28 Sport Phaeton. No rumble seat but my date can’t be choosy. If I can get a date.

Please. Please. Please. ’68 Dodge Charger R/T. Please. I won't need a date if I get this one.

I will also happily accept this beauty - (though I will never GET a date with it)

This is the goddess Yang Asha, goddess of beauty worshipped by the Miao people in China. This stainless steel monument can be found in Guizhou, China. Read about the legend here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yang_Asha

Don’t Get Crabby With Us

The samurai crab, Heikea japonica, earns its nickname well: Its shell bears a startling resemblance to the face of an angry warrior. Some Japanese believe that these crabs are reincarnated samurai who, defeated at the Battle of Dan-no-ura, threw themselves into the sea, as described in the epic "Tale of the Heike."

Biologist Julian Huxley put forward the idea that the “faces” were an example of artificial selection. He suggested that fishermen who caught crabs with particularly face-shaped carapaces, believing them to be reincarnated spirits, threw them back into the sea, permitting them to reproduce while their brothers were eaten.

Really the crabs are an example of another, equally compelling phenomenon — Pareidolia, our tendency to see significant patterns where none exist. 

We were tempted to add a crab recipe here but cooler heads prevailed.

Leave em' Laughing