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A Few Words from Pastor Bryan
...and Kate Bowler
Well the amazing Kate Bowler just released a new book called Have A Beautiful, Terrible Day. My daughter Emma sent it to me "just because" (how cool is that to have my adult daughter sending me books like this?) I've been sharing excerpts from it with our Morning Devotional zoom group this week. Kate is such a gift to us all.
As I've shared with you before, what I love about Kate Bowler is her honesty and authenticity. Her faith in God is deep and real and powerful in large part because she doesn't sugarcoat anything. No easy trite answers for her. No hiding behind superficial cliches or theology that just can't stand up to the grit of real life. Her own near-death experience with stage 4 liver cancer helped her to let go of all patience with cliche ridden spirituality and "churchianity" in particular.
I'm going to share one of her blessings with you here called "when it's not fair (it really isn't)." She begins each blessing with a Scripture verse, then a paragraph or two of prose, then the blessing which is kind of like a poem, and then a closing "reflection prompt." It's a very effective format as you'll see.
But 3 quick thoughts first about life being "fair" or not.
First. In the end, in an ultimate sense, I'm content to leave that question up to God. Oh I struggle with it at times personally, and yes, I will continue to be a passionate advocate for social justice and to stand up for those who are exploited and treated unfairly. But at the same time, I have a deep hunch that the whole "fairness" question will have some unexpected twists and surprises on the other side of the Mystery. What seems fair or unfair now may seem very different when we have the full picture. Jesus said as much in so many of his teachings. "The first will be last and the last will be first." Or as the poet Kabir once put it in a poem called "I Just Laugh," "This world has its pants on backwards."
Second. I often think of a line that a songwriter friend of mine named Jim Weber shared with me many years ago. He would often say, "This world's not fair, but God is good." I'll let that stand like a zen koan for now.
Third. I remember reading in "A Course In Miracles" that "there is nothing more spiritually toxic than dwelling on a sense that we have been treated unfairly. Even when we have been." Those words also ring deeply true to me.
So yeah, this is a deep question. Is life fair? No. Not really. Though maybe we don't have the full picture. So we hold it all as loosely as we can, and we trust that God is good, and we refuse to dwell on a sense of being victimized in a way that locks us into a negative story, even when we have been mistreated. And...
...we smile at people like Kate Bowler who help us to just be honest and real with it all, and to make sure we are open to the grace and healing power of the Big Love, and to make sure we give ourselves some compassion if and when no one else does.
Okay. Kate's wonderful blessing gets the rest. Enjoy, and I hope to see you in church or somewhere else very soon.
Grace and Peace,
Pastor Bryan
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when it's not fair (it really isn't)
By Kate Bowler
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted" Psalm 34:18
In the midst of the worst things that have happened to me, I realized that no one was going to show up to apologize. People who have hurt us rarely apologize. Natural disasters and disease will most certainly never say sorry. And even though it felt silly to say "I want an apology" about my cancer diagnosis, I really did. So if you need one too, here's a blessing for when life isn't fair. And, for what it's worth, I'm really sorry that happened to you.
The last time anyone let me say it--
tears in my eyes, straight from the heart--
I was a child.
Didn't anyone tell you?
Life isn't fair.
So I swallow it up.
But, God, without hearing you say it--
"My love, this isn't fair"--
I am heartsick.
I ate this sadness and
it became embarrassment;
I ate this disappointment
and it became bitterness.
God, let me hear you again say,
"My love, this isn't fair."
You will give me strength
to take another step
and courage to face my circumstances.
But, before the doing and trying
and getting-back-up,
you simply look at me and say,
"I love you. I'm sorry.
Let me bless this heartsick day."
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Reflection Prompt: Many of us were raised with a "suck it up" philosophy. Being deeply tough has probably been a good gift to you, so thank yourself for doing that hard work. But then, perhaps, you might add: "I'm really sorry it's been so hard." Sometimes compassion is the gift we give ourselves.
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