Together amidst the Crumble

I am writing this update at the end of a fairly horrific week for many people, especially for women, and more specifically for women who have experienced sexual violence and assault. As the Supreme Court nominee was accused in a senate committee hearing by Prof. Christine Blasey Ford of a violent assault when they were in high school, many people across the country were forced to relive their own traumas. And sadly the number of women, trans people, and non-binary individuals who have experienced sexual violence is alarmingly high. So we’ve found ourselves awash in our individual and collectively held traumas. We have always known they are with us, but there are times when they come closer to the surface and it can make us feel that we are going under.

So what can we do? We cannot stop the confirmation of a Supreme Court nomination as individual people. I could implore you to call your senators or give you a list of organizations and groups to support who are coordinating direct actions and resistance to this newest wave of this regime’s assault on our democracy. Instead in this moment, I’m going to ask you to breathe. I’m going to ask us all to breathe. To take a deep breath in. For those of us struggling with traumatic sexual assaults, sometimes all we can do is breathe. Sometimes that’s all we need to do, remind ourselves we are here, we are safe, we can breathe and we have to say that over and over and over, even if we need to stay underneath the covers all day to say it.

We are loved and we can heal; we may be healing all of our lives. And our healing doesn’t have to look a certain way. For those for whom sharing or reporting feels freeing and healing, we hold space and declare we believe you. We love you, you are not alone and you are not to blame for the violent actions of others. For those of us for whom silence is not a trap, not a shame vault, but a healing balm that we can lean into, we hold your silence with love, grace, and compassion. We may not be able to see you, but we feel you and you are loved. We hold all of us, each one of us, in deep, abiding love. And we refuse to let the world of patriarchy make each other and ourselves our own worst shaming enemies, long after the abuser has left our lives or after the incident has occurred.

In these moments, all of us, we need to reach out to the earth for strength, to remember this ground we stand on is sacred, even as it is abused. That means just to even look outside and take notice of whatever is out there that isn’t human made - that could be air, a cloud, water, or ground or animals as mundane as pigeons. It helps us to remember that all of this was here before us and it will be here after us -- in what condition we do not know -- but it will continue. There is some assurance in the continuity of the earth’s long-standing existence. And by truly claiming our own place in the history of things and the world, we must embrace justice in these times. We will look to our ancestors for wisdom and for resilience, for surely their love reaches us from beyond the bounds of the grave. It is in our blood, in our bones, and we can reach it through our breath. We know our ancestors weren’t perfect beings, they were human beings. We know this. And yet, their love, their goodness, their resiliency and all of their lessons are still available to us, if we seek to find it on our own and in community.

In the weekend previous to this week’s deep dive into the a supreme court nomination confirmation hearing that took a heavy emotional toll, I was able to attend the Prophetic Imagination Conference in Minneapolis, MN. This conference was put on by the Center for Prophetic Imagination , by some really amazing, radically loving Christian people of faith. During that conference, among many other things, I was challenged by a particular sermon preached on Friday night by Rev. Lynice Pinkard, who was visiting from Oakland, CA. In this sermon, Rev. Lynice went into the biblical tradition of truth telling and of drawing clear, and unrelenting lines between this world and the world of spirit. Regardless of your theology, I believe this message was profound and insightful. One of the things that I carried with me into this last week was reflecting on the ways I am personally invested in this world, in this murderously Capitalistic world. This may seem a harsh turn, what I’m about to put forth, but if you bear with me through until the end, I promise it will make sense.

During times such as these, when I find hatred bubbling up in my heart towards (in this case) rich, white men who feel they are entitled to women’s bodies in particular (but certainly not exclusively), and supreme court nominations that I don’t have any control over, I turn to ask what is in my control? What do I have control over? It feels like it’s too much at the moment for me to ask myself about love, so the closest thing I can get to is that I don’t like the feeling of hatred in my heart, the feeling of bitterness rising up in my throat -- so I can redirect that energy?

And if I follow that energy, what I realize is that my anger stems from both a righteous place of needing protection from harm that others would seek to visit upon women’s bodies in the name of many things and also from a place of feeling hopeless, feeling like I don’t have control or influence over these multitudes of systems that are destroying so much in the world. So how can I shift the energy from sometimes destructive and shameful spirals to a place of feeling like I have control over something? How do I intentionally move into a space where I feel like I can influence something and I can change things in the right direction? And for me that, time and time again, begins with me, myself, my body, my life, my habits. Of course that includes things like eating better, exercising more, and getting more sleep. During Rev. Lynice’s sermon, I was pushed to think about the ways in which I am personally invested in Capitalism and the ways in which I am personally committed to buying out of it. And to do so as part of and supported by a community? At first, I kind of bristled at the suggestion that I need to do more. I have learned to follow that bristle. And after a long sermon and lots of bristling (and translating into my own UU theological framework), I landed on being a Prime member of and using Amazon. I used it for convenience; I used it for ease and comfort. But I certainly didn’t have to. I realized that my reliance and use of Amazon was part of how I was invested in murderous Capitalism. So I that night, after the sermon, I closed and deleted my Amazon account --all of it, not just my Prime membership. Throughout this tumultuous week, I would lean into that decision as a beacon of hope for myself, a place where I exerted my choice and my control. And even though in the grand scheme of things, it’s a tiny thing, it’s still a thing. And I am not saying that everyone should go out and delete their Prime account, I am saying for me, it was the right move to at that moment choose to buy out of one of the ways in which I had invested in Capitalism.

Rev. Lynice’s sermon was about an hour, and included lots of Biblical references, some of which I understood and could translate into my own theological framework and some which I didn’t understand. And in a follow up question, she outlined more about how our resistance against Capitalism is like a guerilla warfare. We -- as everyday, untrained people -- are not going to be able to tear it all down and still survive. If history is any indication, this crumbling of democracy and degradation of Empire that we are witnessing will be a relatively slow process; it will take some years. So the bottom line is that we aren’t helpless and we aren’t hopeless and we have time. And we can prepare our hearts and our physical worlds for what’s coming.

But we have to prepare ourselves together, or else it won’t work. The together is the hard part. With togetherness as central to our thriving in these times where we see institutions crumbling around us, I offer to you the work that BLUU is doing to build pockets of resistance and refuge from Capitalism, pockets that hopefully are building more and more love. We know we haven’t been perfect, and we know what we are building will not be perfect. But we strive to constantly know and live into love better, more boldly, and in more inclusive ways. We are grateful to everyone who is on the journey with us. We are mindful that love means we must transform ourselves and each other and that that transformation will be uncomfortable. But we know if we remain faithful and committed to each other, we can continue being and building something gloriously imperfect and nonetheless beautifully loving. And bit by bit find ways to buy out of Capitalism.

Organizational Infrastructure -Building Structures to Support Connection

We are building together a bit of organizational infrastructure at the moment, while also continuing to run our programming in both worship and mobilization. The Financial Transparency Group kicked off their first meeting in September and will meet monthly. The BLUU OC has begun research to develop the structure of what will be the BLUU Board of Directors. That process is expected to run from now through the Fall and Winter, and by late Spring of 2019, we hope to have both the Board structure and members in place. Meanwhile, the BLUU Staff is busy making plans for more connection in the offline world. From new beginnings for BLUUMicro30 to mobilize organizing across the country to an upcoming living history project to plans for an upcoming membership structure, a large gathering in 2019, and really big plans in 2020 - many things are underway in the land of BLUU. The really big plans are around launching BLUU spiritual worship communities across the country in 2020. You may be asking yourself, why wait until 2020? The reason is that we want to be intentional and strategic in building these communities because some of what they will rely on will come out of the large gathering in 2019. These are some big dreams for our little corner of the world, and we are looking forward with enthusiasm to the journey all of these projects will carry us through. .

Most of these things are in the early stages of development, and we know you’ll have questions that we can’t yet answer. We are sharing because we’ve heard feedback that when times are “quieter” for BLUU (aka not planning a large gathering or gearing up for GA), people wonder what we are up to. In an effort to help assure people that we aren’t just twiddling our thumbs, we are finding ways to share what we can, when we can! In the spirit of creation and development, encouragements and excitement about upcoming projects are very welcome!

An Invitation to participate in the BLUU Living History Project

You can join us for a unique project for Black UUs developed and led by a stellar group of Black UU organizers, Team Sankofa . This project, the Living History project, aims to create a living history of Black UUs through the creation of a state by state directory and a catalog of stories to be shared in a regional E-Zine. Through this project, you will have the opportunity to submit your name, city, state, phone number, and email address through a secure form. After, you will gain access to the full directory to connect with Black UUs near and far. Organizers from Team Sankofa will supply you with all the resources you need to set an interview with another Black UU by phone, video chat, or in person. All entries will be used in full or part to create a digital E-magazine, filled with out stories, divided by regions. Art, including drawings, photography, paintings and poetry expressing the themes of family, connection, community, or ancestry can be submitted for inclusion.

Join us for this incredible project by filling out this form to join a #BLUUMicro30 regional team . You’ll be connected to other Black UUs in your region and get instructions on next steps.

Changes on the OC

While we are saddened to share the news that Kenny Wiley is departing from the OC, and that his last day on the OC will be Thursday, Oct. 4, we wish Kenny the best and send him in love to his new adventures in Texas as a reporter for a local paper in the city of College Station. At this time, the OC will not be seeking a replacement for Kenny’s spot on the OC.

Worship & New2BLUU

If you are Black or of African descent, please join us for worship and our New2BLUU session! Worship is on the first Thursday of the month @9pm ET and the third Sunday of the month @4pm ET! For October, we’ll gather on

Thursday, Oct. 4 @ 9pm ET

Sunday, Oct. 21 @ 4pm ET

If you aren’t Black or of African descent, please share with Black UUs and like-minded Black folks. Our time together in virtual space is different than in offline worship spaces, and it’s still powerful and a beautiful time to connect in a world where disconnection and isolation are rampant.

New2BLUU is an informal online info session, where you can learn more about BLUU -- who we are, where we come from and where we’re going and of course, how you can plug in and be a part of our growing community. The next New2BLUU session is Wednesday, Oct. 17 @ 8pm ET.

You can find the sign on info for both of these events by joining the closed FB group for Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism .

General Assembly 2019

We’ve already received questions about GA 2019 from the early planners in our community! (Shout out to the early planners!) So we want to inform you that currently BLUU does not have plans, money, or intentions to attend GA 2019 in Spokane, WA. We understand that over the past couple of years the BLUU Healing Space in particular has become an important and critical space for many Black UUs who are able to attend GA. And BLUU has invested over $100,000 over the past three years to ensure that the BLUU Healing space was there. However, after careful consideration we feel it is no longer in alignment with our three organizational goals to attend the UUA General Assembly in 2019. (Please note these goals were generated in 2017, so you will see it included but new information around the lack of support for Black UUs has shifted how we think of this.) Part of the reason our thinking shifted and we made this decision is that last year our request for funding assistance for Black UUs to get to GA was denied, and there appears to be no long term, substantive strategic plan for making GA more inclusive for Black UUs. We feel that it’s important to use our funds to be a source of support, information and resource for Black Unitarian Universalists; in fact it was central to our operating agreement with the Board of Trustees of the UUA and is explicitly written into our organizational goals. So if our folks, Black UUs, are unable to get to General Assembly, then it makes more sense to use our funds to support our folks where they are at. So that looks like shifting money from GA into an organizing budget to develop BLUUMicro30 organizing projects, to support worship, both online and in-person, and other operational costs. We know that that’s what it ought to look like, based on the survey that was taken and the live feedback we received from the convening in spring of 2017. Many Black UUs told us these are the programs they wanted to see from BLUU, including plans for more in-person meet ups and BLUU congregations. So we’ve gone forth and started to put together a plan to meet those needs, in a way that is grounded in co-creativity and personal growth and transformation and is highly relational. We hope to someday again be able to attend GA and host the BLUU Healing Space. Until then, we’ll be here to support Black UUs and continue justice-making in the world -- just not at GA in person as it’s fairly inaccessible to our folks and to our knowledge at this time, no long-term strategic plan exists to shift that.

BLUU Spiritual Subscription Box

Have you subscribed to the BLUU Spiritual Subscription Box yet? The #BLUUBox is filled with prayers, reflections, Black UU history, guided meditation, an action-oriented social justice activity, and other materials that help you show your support for BLUU and other projects or organizations that are doing amazing work in the world. The #BLUUBox is a one-of-a-kind spiritual sustenance box grounded in the experiences and wisdom of Black people. #BLUUBox is for EVERYONE - too often “universal content” is code for “written by white people” but #BLUUBox is focused on content centering on Black voices but meant for all. This is a NEW way to materially support the work of Black Lives UU directly and be fed spiritually at the same time. It’s great for small groups & learning circles. We are now accepting subscriptions for November - the theme for November’s box is self-determination. Please visit our website Frequently Asked Questions page about the #BLUUBox and check out the sample box, which can be found here .

I intentionally took time to open this ED Update in a longer way, because I wanted to connect what we are doing with what’s happening in the world. Of course there are obvious and flashy ways that BLUU does justice-making in the world like sending Paige (our BLUU organizer) and BLUU community to San Diego to be in solidarity and help Mijente, or awarding disaster relief grants in partnership with the UUA. Then there are the quiet things that don’t get written about in the UU World, the everyday relationship building and mending, the sometimes tedious work of building a new organization from the ground up like writing our community agreements or navigating the establishment of a nonprofit with the government. I am not saying everyone has to be doing these things in order to shift focus and feeling away from the crumbling world, it’s about focusing on what you can influence, control, and create or help to build. Whether you are pouring your energy into building humans in the form of raising children, nieces, godchildren, or just children that need you, or working on eating healthier or navigating health challenges --or all of that and more -- we all have ways we can focus on what we are creating. In particular these moments call for us to be more resilient and level-headed. That means the more we are working on ourselves, our hearts, our minds, our spirits, the only things we truly have control and influence over --and sometimes even that wanes in sickness or injury -- the more we are helping build an impenetrable collective of love. It’s like in Harry Potter, when Dumbledore tells Harry that Voldemort wants him to feel isolated, disconnected and powerless. Because alone, he’s easier to fight, but together with his community and friends, he is a threat to the destructive power itself. It sounds odd to me sometimes to talk about making ourselves a threat, especially since that is language of violence. But I think it’s important to note that that is not the kind of threat I want to be inherently. I want to be both a protective threat, meaning that when systems of Capitalism crumble more and more, we are doing what we can to have alternative means of growing our own food, having shelter and access to the things we need to live. That we are not giving into the politics of scarcity and fear, but understanding and holding the faith that we can hold onto the world of abundance and beloved community. That Capitalism doesn’t have to be the only way, and that building new ways will be and is messy but we can do it. In ways big and small. I encourage everyone reading this, to take one small step toward building and dreaming. Whatever is happening in your life, in your body, in you family, in your community -- there is something you can do, a step no matter how small or seemingly consequential that you can take and then turn to and know that amidst the crumbling empire you are holding on faith, and you are not alone. My particular personal steps were to end my Amazon account, because it is a business model I do not believe in. They don’t treat their workers right or small business owners ethically, and despite the convenience and popularity, in my heart I don’t support these things. And while I may just be shifting my money to another corporation, I can choose -- even knowing no corporation or even individual small business is perfect or pure -- to spend my money somewhere closer in alignment with my values. That matters to the world, but it also matters in my spirit, knowing that I do have power, I do have choices, and those aren’t limited to where I spend my money either. Because I also continue to build BLUU, and that matters. Even though I have weeks, like last week, were I was bedridden in pain from a persistent health condition for most of the week, where I struggle to find strength to cook, clean and do the basic things of life. I know that it matters that I’m finding ways to keep building, keep dreaming. And finding ways to create more love and connection.

Beloved community, please breath. Please know you are loved. Please know even though we are imperfect, everyday BLUU works towards building more space in the world for Black Unitarian Universalism and dreaming into being new ways that will help us usher in the era of crumbling Empire with love, with connection, with abundance and with ever changing creative ways of meeting our needs in a shifting world where it will only get harder for those of us who are not among the elite class. But we know we are resilient. We know loving each other is an imperfect science, and an ever-changing journey. I hope you’ll continue on the journey with us. As supporter, as ally, as Black UU or as a Black person with UU friendly theologies. We are building and dreaming spaces into the world where love is the bottom line, not money. I also want to offer to our Black UUs, our pastoral care support line. You can find more information on our webpage here about the Black Ministerial Network. We offer Daily Affirmations and pastoral care calls to Black UUs, and Black people with affinity for UU theology. I highly encourage everyone to sign up for our Daily Affirmations, which on more than one occasion have shifted my thinking and ability to feel connected in the world. Whatever is next in the happenings of the world, find ways of grounding in your love, grounding in the knowledge that you do have control, power, influence in this world. In community, we can amplify our power, our love, our connectedness even more. That matters, it makes all the difference, and we love you.

In Faith,

Lena K. Gardner

Black Lives of UU Executive Director

P.S. Have you signed up for your BLUU Daily Affirmations? These are short inspired thoughts that you’ll receive daily as a text. For instructions on how to sign up click here !

Check out BLUU on the web!