Depression and sadness are not the most cheerful holiday topics to discuss but they are, at times, a reality when you have a loved one with dementia. Holidays can be especially stressful and frustrating for caregivers and their loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias.
Having the blues during the holidays can affect anyone. For the individual with dementia, they may feel sad or depressed too. They can feel a sense of loss - missing someone who passed away a long time ago, or maybe not recognizing the family around them and feeling that something is wrong. It is common for people with dementia to lack enthusiasm and interest in holidays. Activities they once loved might not make sense anymore, such as decorating a tree or lighting a menorah.
Activities to Try
- Have your loved one wrap gifts…they don’t have to be perfect. Make sure to praise your loved one.
- Sing together or play old holiday songs for them.
- Watch classic holiday movies
- Arts and crafts - like making cards or wreaths
Families can feel a similar sense of loss because their loved one is not the “same” as prior holidays. Tending to such emotions may be particularly hard during the time of year when so much is going on. You may want to enjoy the season, but dwell on the fact that your loved one with dementia is no longer able to participate in family activities. Guilt can creep in, especially when your loved one is in a memory care community, even though you know that they are being cared for exceptionally well. Please know that it’s completely normal for you, the family member, to feel sad, confused, frustrated or worried.
Thankfully, There Are Ways to Ease These Feelings:
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Reach out and talk to someone and tell them what you're feeling
- Be realistic
- Replace past holiday traditions with new traditions
- Try not to dwell on the past with “what used to be”
With the right planning, the holidays can still be a joyful time of year with gatherings and traditions carried on despite the dementia.
Charity Pendleton, LPN
Wellness Director