Summer 2020
AN INVITATION TO BE KNOWN
One year ago, I welcomed Dave Wehner into my practice as an intern, offering coaching with an emphasis on spiritual direction. Now, I have invited him to offer some words here, so that you might learn some of what I know of his depth and stamina for growth. Enjoy getting to know him here and reach out if you or someone you know might like to explore self with him:
THE MYTH OF CONTROL
Have you ever taken a truly honest look at where you are now—geographically, financially, relationally, emotionally, spiritually—compared to where you started? And in doing so, have you noticed how much of it,
really
, wasn’t in your control? Sure, we made decisions to choose (control)
this job,
or
this partner,
or
this place to live
, but after that the Process kicked in and took us to where we are now. What did we learn along the way? What were we asking to be revealed? And did everything go ‘according to plan’?
I heard someone say once, ‘faith is not leaping from point A to point B, it’s leaping from point A’.
Yikes! Where am I going to land and how long of a fall before I do?! It sure leaves a lot of unknown! And yet, at least for me, it’s been the ‘unknown’...the Process, that has elicited the most growth.
LIFE LISTENS...WE MUST ASK WITH CARE
I believe life gives us exactly what we ask for, desire, and seek, though we might ask consciously or unconsciously. Being conscious (aware), I believe, is the touchstone to a meaningful life. But it’s not always clear
how
life will give us these things we desire. That’s why the Process, and
trusting
that Process, is so important. It’s also critical that I remember that I am here to
experience
. There’s no judgment, no ‘disciplinary action’ from my higher power, only consequences for the actions I take (or don’t)—and those are also part of the Process.
OUR PAST LEADS US TO OUR PRESENT
In my past, like many, I aspired after surface things as I unconsciously struggled through my days. ‘Life’s a bitch, and then you die’ was my motto. And why not, life
wasn’t
fair. Then I got sober. I quit playing the victim. I took responsibility for my actions, grew accountable for my choices, and ‘woke up’ to the Process of my spiritual and emotional growth. I became more
aware
. Eventually, I was able to see that
everything I had done in the past was connected to where I am now.
There was, indeed, a Process. But was it trustworthy? Well, let’s see...
• I asked for an equitable, loving, and mutually gratifying relationship...check!
• the ability to be financially responsible to my/our debts and desires...check!
• a deeper understanding of myself...
• a better ability to navigate relationships...
• a life of purpose...check, check, and check!
Interestingly, the ‘things’ I asked of life changed and evolved in direct proportion to
my
changing and evolving. My thoughts, words, motives and actions became less about
me
and more about
my world.
Perhaps we
can
learn to trust the Process. After all, we’ve paid for our ticket and been belted in for the ride. We can take those ups and downs, twists and turns with our eyes closed and screaming, or we can
trust
that the bumps and turns will eventually come safely to an end, so we can disembark with relief, renewed faith, and that quiet, little voice saying, ‘I
knew
it was going to be alright’, as we make our way to the next rollercoaster.
Peace to you,
