You, are not easy…

You give me a big problem.

What am I going to get you for Xmas?

Louis Vuitton, maybe but not everyone wants a handbag and to be honest their travel-stuff is on the heavy side.

Gucci has become vulgar and I’ve never understood the attraction of Hermes.

Cartier would be at the top of my list but for the fact I read the other day, people are getting them stolen, in broad daylight, wrenched off of their wrist. I’d hate to put you in harm’s way.

Rolex, maybe? But, mainly it’s a man thing.

Estée Lauder, it’s on the same shelf as Chanel. 

Burberry… well, it’s so often ripped-off you can’t wear it without it looks like you’ve been shopping in Wapping Market.

Lamborghini… now yer-talkin’. But, they are too low for most speed humps. 

TAG Heuer, well, we don’t all go skiing or spend time on an ocean-going yacht.

Bulgari… naaa, too Putin. 

Versace? Nooooo, far too Louis Vuitton. 

I would stretch to a Bentley...

... but it’d have to be electric and I don’t know where you live. Is it feasible for you to dangle a cable out of the bedroom window to plug the lecky in.

What can I get you that you can use all year, has a real value and you’ll come back to, time and gain. 

Penderyn, maybe but I don’t know if I should encourage you to end up like me.

How about a set of Air-Fryer mats or a spar day… the trouble is you meet such common-people in those sort of places… dahling.

It’s a real problem to know what to get you. Or, it was. 

Actually, I’ve come across the perfect gift. 

Something that I know will delight you. Something that I’d guess you’d use almost everyday. 

Use to defeat the forces of evil, the naysayers and the negativists.

A gift of knowledge, the power to teach, the ability to influence and the words of wisdom to change how we look at the world.

If this gift was a ‘thing’ it would be designed by Apple, made by Lange & Söhne and on display in Burlington Arcade. 

This gift has the cool elegance of a Jermyn Street suit and speaks like a Stefano Ricci silk tie. 

My gift to you is…

… a set of slides.

Crafted by Diane Coyle and available through the Health Foundation.

They come gift wrapped in knowledge, warranted by research and delivered with elegance.

They are part of a collaboration by the Health Foundation, the REAL Centre, and the Bennett Institute of Public Policy. 

These gems deal with the vexed question of NHS productivity… 

Coyle unpacks it and examines the moving parts with all the care of a Swiss-watch-maker. Each component meticulously crafted with the skill of a seamstress, and the fine appreciation of a perfumer. 

She tells us; 

• What’s been happening to productivity
• Measurement issues
• Demand
• Under investment 
• Infrastructure
• What’s to be done
• Digital
• Culture
• Deprivation and 

… the limits of what the NHS can do.

Take these slides, print them out and deck-the-halls with them.

Sing trala-la-la-laa.

You might even use them in place of mistletoe. 

Make no mistake, these slides are no scented candle.

They are a weapon's grade rebuttal to the numpties that talk rubbish about ‘…the NHS must reform because it’s not productive enough.’ 

These slides are a useful, practical present. The management equivalent of the Swiss Army knife. 

In the season to be jolly, they bring joy. At the time of year we look for direction… they are a bright star in the eastern sky. 

If they were a sound they'd be the crystal clear jingle of sleigh-bells in the snow.

The seasonal message? The NHS, despite everything, is doing pretty well. 

To do even better, Coyle is clear;

• we must spend more time and effort on organisation and management quality improvement,
• sort out hierarchies & culture;
• make investments using a longer-term funding perspective,
• and understand the limits of NHS provision.

Slides as exciting as… 

... finding a tangerine in the toe of a sock, a silver sixpence in the pudding. Mince-pie crumbs left on the plate, that proved Santa really did visit…

And… unlike a scarf and bobble hat…

… come the Spring you’ll still be using them.

During the election, because they don’t need batteries, they'll still be working and you'll be referring to them.

This time next year you’ll be wondering what could I possibly come-up with to trump this special gift…

… tuff-call.

______

Watch Prof Coyle’s lecture 

in full here.

It's a cuppa-builder's watch.