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AUGUST 2014
Family Mailbag

  

"All the staff and their personal stories help me to have great hope for my son's future. I know my son feels safe there, and has remarked that he's learning things he didn't know before. Something is finally resonating with him. I know the structure of TP's program is to be credited to very large measure."

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In This Issue
Recreation & Lifestyle
On Friday, July 18, 25 of Turning Point's Phase I residents and staff headed down to East Haven's Light House Point for a day of sandy fun in the sun. The residents had a blast and the day was filled with plenty of football, Frisbee, and fellowship.

"It was good for the guys," Rec Coordinator Casey Olayos said. "They enjoyed it. It's a good outdoor activity for them, and it's different. They're used to going to the beach, partying with their friends. You can do that kind of stuff sober and it's good for them to see it."



"It was great," Support Staff Kyle said. "The guys had a great time. They loved it. It was a beautiful day, and it was nice just to enjoy a day that didn't have anything to do with needing to get drunk or high. All the guys really enjoyed it."

"I had a pretty good time," Phase I resident Drew said. "Usually when I go to the beach I am under the influence, and it's nice to go and be there and enjoy the scenery." According to Drew, this month's beach trip has been his favorite rec activity to date, and these events are extremely helpful in the recovery process.

Casey has planned a huge event to round out the 2014 summer season. He has organized a 3-day camping trip up to Massachusetts. Residents from both Phases I and II will attend. Residents and staff will cook out, play games, and hold their daily meetings around the campfire. 



RECENT TURNING
POINT GRADUATES:
BILL D.
KEVIN S.
JOSEPH P.
RYAN E.

29 Months
JOSEPH M.

14 MONTHS
JOSH F.
BRIAN M.
MICHAEL R.
ETHAN E.

13 MONTHS
SCOTT F.
BRANDON T.

ONE YEAR
SHANE F.
TYLER E.
MARK S.
ALEX C.
JOE P.
PATRICK N.

11 MONTHS
CHRIS H.
CONNOR L.
JP H.
DEMETRI A.
JESSE S.


10 MONTHS
CAMERON B.
BILL D.
SEAN M.


9 MONTHS
SAM R.
NICK J.
PETER Z.
DIMITRI H.

8 MONTHS
ANDREW A.
MICAH P.
BAXTER D.
MAX V.
KYLE G.

7 MONTHS
CRAIG B.
ISAAC F.
RYAN R.
TJ K.
DOMENIC M.
ANDREW G.


6 MONTHS

JOHN K.
JEFF S.
MATTHEW L.
COLEMAN F.
CLAYTON S.
 
5 MONTHS
PAUL A.
HARRISON G.
AMORY B.
JAMES B.
JORDAN B.
OREN O.
MATTHEW M.
ALLAN P.
THOMAS R.
KYLE D.
JAMES D.


4 MONTHS
CARTER A.
JOHN C.
JONATHAN H.
KODY M.
GABE T.
COLIN G.
QUIN F.
SAHIL G.
CONNOR M.
EVAN R.
BRENDON K.

3 MONTHS 
NICK C.
JACK R.
OWEN T.
ANDREW B.
JACK A.
WILLIAM P.
 
August Calendar
Clinics Corner Header

The Importance of a Daily Routine 

A comment commonly heard from our clients is their struggle with sitting still. They are at the beginning stages of their recovery from alcohol and drug abuse and they are feeling overwhelmed by their new reality of being sober. They are no longer able to run away to their chemical refuge and this can be a major struggle. For some clients, this could be their first time encountering daily life without relying on a substance through the day. The mind is still in the healing stages from drug dependence and behavior. Fortunately, these situations can be improved if they are willing to commit to a daily routine early on.

A routine can be defined as a set of daily tasks or things that a person will try to follow each day. This could include a set time when they wake up/go to sleep, eat meals, hygiene, exercise, participate in hobbies, clean/chores, attendance at recovery meetings, etc. A routine is important because it gives the individual structure, while also creating familiarity and comfort. Waking up each morning without a plan for the day may stray a person into the direction that they did not intend to go. Developing stability can be through learning how to do what is expected, being on time, as well as being dependable and productive each day.

Routine for those in early recovery is important in building self-confidence. It may be difficult to follow a routine at first because one may feel exhausted, embarrassed, uncomfortable, or even not interested. As they begin to follow a number of different expectations or tasks during the week, it eventually becomes easier and second nature. There is a sense of accomplishment and eventual motivation to continue or strive for more. Meeting new people or trying new activities will become easier as time continues as well. With that confidence and comfort, when crisis or issues arise (and they will), the routine will provide something solid and positive that can help a person in recovery remain focused and get through those difficult times.

In helping clients with establishing a routine, I often suggest that they be open to trying new activities. Building a schedule is important for the day but the downtime where they find themselves facing boredom is the best time to be introduced to other interests. Clients become more aware of activities that they never believed would be fun or entertaining before but soon these activities become something to look forward to. I frequently explore this topic with clients and challenge them to not focus solely on their boredom with downtime but instead to identify new interests or even old interests that could be incorporated into their weekly schedule. The client that really enjoyed playing tennis in high school, who has not played in several years, now has the opportunity to take up that activity again. Or the client who takes the opportunity to join his peers in a game of ultimate Frisbee one afternoon may find a new hobby that he really enjoys. In early recovery, it is believed that there are no activities out there that will ever be as fun as when one was using and this is something we as therapists hear very often. Recovery takes a commitment of meeting new people and building a sober network, as well as opening oneself up to new interests and activities.

One must also remember to be realistic in building a routine for themselves; trying to fit too much into a daily schedule can bring a lot of pressure and too little items can bring on boredom. Also, an individual can become 'too dependent' on their daily routine meaning that they feel uncomfortable if changes arise. These individuals may put their routines as priority over others and be weary of trying new things, as it may cause change in their usual schedule. Others may feel bored because the routine is too predictable and then use that as a rationalization for a relapse. Life is never certain and unexpected events or things may get in the way of one's daily routine so it is important to be receptive to change. It could be beneficial to keep a journal as a way to assess their commitment to the routine or where things need to be adjusted.

Clients typically struggle with understanding the importance of routine in early recovery. One of the biggest emotions that is reported to trigger relapse is boredom. This is why therapists strive to help clients understand the importance of filling up a client's time with a schedule of activities and/or responsibilities. We try to connect how Turning Point's model of integration is helping them build a solid routine to prepare them to continue their path into recovery. As always, they are reminded that this process will not happen overnight, but one will begin to see and feel the growth in themselves with a healthy routine. It is always important to greet each coming day with optimism and anticipation for the commitment they have may towards their recovery.
 


LYNN MARIE STAFFA - LCSW
Primary Therapist, U/R Specialist

Lynn is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and certified in School Social Work and the Seven Challenges model of treatment. Lynn earned her Master's of Social Work degree at Springfield College and Bachelor's degree in Social Work and Criminal Justice at Central Connecticut State University. She completed several years of internships and employment within the school setting in both New Britain and West Hartford, CT districts. Lynn worked as an intensive inhome family therapist at Wheeler Clinic for the Multi-Systemic Therapy program (Court Support Services Division), where she worked with families of youth who were involved with the court system in order to improve client performance at school and home, by developing contingency plans to address client's negative behaviors and substance abuse, as well as family communication.

Matthew M. is a resident currently in Phase III of the Turning Point program.

Matthew spent years attempting to manage his drug and alcohol abuse, but when his battle with addiction took a harsh turn, he decided to seek professional help and is currently well on his way to living a sober and productive life.

According to Matthew, he began using at the age of 13. "In 8th grade I started with weed and alcohol," Matthew said. "My sophomore year of high school I started doing cocaine, and occasionally Percocet. Alcohol was consistent my whole time of using, and I just continued to add more and more drugs to the mix. When I went to college I discovered ecstasy and did that for a few years. When I graduated and moved back home that's when I got heavy into opiates, and that just progressed very quickly."

After college, Matthew got a fulltime job at an engineering firm. He began using opiates regularly, and after two years of consistent abuse and occasional lackluster recovery attempts, he eventually "started to shoot up, and that got unmanageable pretty quickly." "I was essentially getting to the point where I was going to lose my job," Matthew said. "I couldn't do it anymore so I asked for help."

Matthew told his parents and quickly entered a 30-day rehab, after which the staff recommended an aftercare program. "I think [my parents] were relieved," Matthew said. "Every time we would talk about it, I would just make up an excuse. It was a big relief to my mom especially. She was able to start worrying less as soon as I left and went to Colorado."

Matthew planned to attend Turning Point after completing his primary treatment. In the 4-day lapse between the two programs, he visited home and suffered a relapse, momentarily stalling him on his road to recovery. Despite the relapse, he still desired help to battle his addiction, and after being cleared by a doctor to detox, he then entered the Turning Point program and hasn't looked back since.



"I've learned that I can't do this my way," Matthew said. "My way didn't work. I've pretty much completely surrendered to the people with experience here that are sober and know what they are doing. They've been through this stuff. I'm getting the humility to do what I'm told, to have faith in people, and that the program is going to work. The camaraderie between all the guys has created a big community. You feel like you're a part of something. I've made good friends in the five months that I've been here."

Matthew currently works for Turning Point, but hopes to soon reenter the engineering workforce in the construction management field. After graduating, he plans to remain in the New Haven area, hopefully with a group of fellow Turning Point alumni.
 



Chris Hrusa
is Turning Point's Unsung Hero for the month of August. Chris is a member of the Support Staff for Phase II, and has held that position since November 2013. Chris left a career as a sales manager, and now finds his work to be much more fulfilling. As Support Staff, he is primarily responsible for guaranteeing that the residents remain safe and sober at all times. He ensures that everyone is doing what they should do, and helps to facilitate transportation to and from group meetings.

According to Chris, the most rewarding aspect of his job is seeing the guys grow. "I see them come in, and they don't know what to do with life," Chris said. "By the time they go to Phase III they're responsible. I keep in contact with them, and I get to see them grow up in front of my eyes. It's an awesome experience."

"I really don't have a difficult part," Chris said. "Sometimes when a resident doesn't want to do what they have to do, they'll see that I'm willing to work with them and they'll work with me. There's really nothing difficult about it. I think every Support Staff is the Unsung Hero of the month. I just observe what everyone else does, and I take their strengths, and that's what I do."
Add a description Zachary K. is a recent graduate of Turning Point.

Zachary came to Turning Point after completing primary treatment in California, and since he made the personal decision to seek help he has worked hard to maintain a sober and stable lifestyle.

According to Zachary, his issues with substance abuse began around the age of 15, kicking off a period of ten years in which he continuously used "with varying degrees of intensity." After going to school in Ohio, he moved to Oakland where he began to have a serious battle with painkillers.

When Zachary moved to Oakland he was struggling financially to fund his addiction. At the time, his mother was sending money to pay for his therapy sessions, and he was using that money to buy drugs. According to Zachary, his therapist knew some details about his substance abuse issues, but he wasn't being completely honest with him. "It basically got to the point where I couldn't pay my therapist," Zachary said. "I had no choice but to tell him. He suggested that I go into a program, but I was hesitant at first."

At this point Zachary was selling unwanted clothes and different odds-and-ends, and when it got to the point where he considered selling his beloved guitar, he broke down and decided to tell his parents about his problem. "I was tired of running, and I knew that I needed to get help," Zachary said. "I didn't know what it was going to be like. All I knew was that the way that I felt, I couldn't go on feeling that way. People say they couldn't live with it, and couldn't live without it; that's basically where I was at."

He convinced his therapist to break the news to his parents, and soon entered a detox and 28-day program in Oakland. Zachary's attempt at primary treatment was successful, and his parents later discovered Turning Point when researching extended care facilities. Zachary was hesitant at first, but he decided to enter the program and has since made steady progress. As a resident, he worked hard to follow the program and to build his sober network. He made a great group of friends as a resident, and considers his time in the East Rock house to be his favorite part of the Turning Point experience.

"Since coming to Turning Point, I understand now," Zachary said. "There's always going to be things that I need to work on about myself. I'm willing to look at myself and see things that aren't good: my patterns of behavior and the way that I think. In the past I wasn't willing to look at myself. I've changed. I'm more comfortable forming relationships with people, something that's always been difficult for me. Building a sober network wasn't easy for me. It became an important part of my recovery."

Zachary plans to remain in the New Haven area for the foreseeable future. In Phase III of the Turning Point program he took on a part-time job, and he plans to attend either Gateway or SCSU to resume his college education in order to eventually start a career as an elementary school teacher or a counselor.


From the Family Header
Domenic M. is currently a resident in Phase III of the Turning Point program.  

Unlike most of the residents, Domenic is married and has two young children, adding another layer to the already complex nature of the recovery process.

According to Domenic's wife, Karina, he began smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol in his early teenage years. "I met him when we were in high school," Karina said. "He was a party animal, and so was I. I kinda got over it, and he never did." Over time, Domenic's substance abuse progressed, and his addiction began to cause problems for Karina, as well as his mother, Brenda. "He just crossed too many lines," Brenda said. "His drug use was out of control, and we were terrified."

According to Karina, Domenic became overwhelmed with the responsibilities of fatherhood and married life, and when the family made the move from Puerto Rico to Austin, it became even harder for him. In Austin, Domenic ran into the same group of high school friends with which he first used, and he "went on a binge." Karina, her sister, and Domenic's brother staged an intervention soon after, and the three of them convinced Domenic to seek help for his addiction in a local 28-day program.

"He came out really positive and understood his disease," Karina said. "Two months later he relapsed." Domenic shied away from AA, and was in "complete denial" at this point. The family moved back to Puerto Rico and things appeared to be going smoothly, but Domenic was hiding his usage and the situation quickly went downhill again. Karina soon asked Domenic to move out and live with his parents, who eventually gave him an ultimatum: go to a homeless shelter, or get help.

Since coming to Turning Point in January, Domenic's condition has improved dramatically. Although he faces the added stress of missing his wife and kids, he is working hard in the program and staying focused on his sobriety. "In the beginning it was really hard to see him go," Karina said. "I didn't know what to expect. Every time I've gone [to visit], I see him getting better and better. I know that the program is working. The experience has been good overall."



"I sleep very well at night now," Brenda said. "I'm assured that he's in a good place. It's been a little bit of a bumpy road, but he has really followed the program. I'm very proud of him, and very happy. He feels that he's where he needs to be. It's especially hard for him because he has a family, and he misses his kids. We're all supportive of him and his courage to do this. We're enormously proud of him, and we feel that it's very courageous of him to have taken this step. It's not easy what he's done."

"I'm really proud of him," Karina said. "I know it took a lot of courage. The kids are here and it's very hard for him. He's brave enough and mature enough; I think the program has gotten him to that point where he understands that he needs to be there. I'm extremely proud of him for sticking through with it."
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