Volume 02 | June 29 2020
Ronda Suder
Two Truths, One Poem, and The Stories We Tell
Two Truths

“It is difficult to run and fall at the same time.”

The space between running and falling often feels brief, quick, and unexpected. The space between falling and being able to run again might be quick, or, it might be an opportunity to sit for a while, evaluate, readjust, stand up, slow down, walk, and then run again when ready. Or, maybe a steady-paced walk proves to be more beneficial for the road ahead.


“I will love you unconditionally, no matter what. In unhealthy, unreciprocated situations, that means I need to love you from way over here.”

Unconditional love implies that one will love another, no matter what. By definition, there are no conditions placed on that love. Sometimes, the most difficult, mature step to take to show love is to say, "I will always love you, and I will always love me, and the best way I can love you and myself at this moment is to not be with you or near you or enable you or our unhealthy way of being. It's time to change the patterns that no longer work for us. To do so, I must choose to love you from a distance."
One Poem
The Curtains Will Rise
I forgot for a minute what it was like to live that life
I forgot for a minute what it was like to live this life

In the stillness, I can hear it
In the quietness, I can see it

Calling out to me

Come this way, my dear child
Come this way to the Land of Freedom

And then I arrive

And in the stillness, I can see it
And in the quietness, I can hear it

Calling out to me

Come back, dear child
Come this way to the Land of Freedom

And then I arrive

I look back to there while I’m standing here
And I look around here while I’m standing there

I see the Divide

As I open my eyes
It fades

The veil is lifted from the illusion I was gifted

No longer deflected by the illusion
A deceitful surprise, there’s less confusion

The valley between No Longer and Not Yet begins to close
The mountains merge

Ready or not, the curtains will rise
I can no longer hide

The pain is too great to continue to hide
Ready or not, the curtains will rise

So, I’ll take a bow
Even if yet, I don’t know how

The Stories We Tell
A Desire to be Seen
It’s interesting to witness how we interact as beings that so want to be loved and seen, and at the same time, we often hide away and make-up stories about who we are. 

To truly be seen is so rare that when it happens, it can feel scary and vulnerable. It is the rare few that can see past our facades and pretenses that are acted out based on who we think we “should” be vs. who we truly are. And it is the rare few who choose to sit with us, in all of our humanness, and say, "I'm here with you. I see you. I get you. I've got you."

It is to be truly seen and heard, and to be unconditionally accepted for who and where we are, that we so often crave for ourselves and from those around us.

We desire to belong and to be safe in that belonging.

We desire connection in a disconnected world—we are wired for human connection. 

When we are present to all we are and where we are at any given moment—knowing that we are enough, no matter what—and we offer the same graciousness to others, belonging and connection are possible.

A good place to begin is with the one we see looking back at us in the mirror. 

Let's begin together. 

Be kind. Be well. Be gentle.

With love and gratitude,
A Little C-PTSD Humor
Living with C-PTSD, PTSD, and other chronic physical and mental health conditions comes with a lot of challenges, and there is little humor to be found in the midst of the symptoms and flare-ups. Still, though, humor found in hindsight and day-to-day... it's often how I made it to the next moment.