A Message from Rev. Barbara

“What Do We Mean by a ‘Good Goodbye’?”

The UUFD calendar lists a “Good Goodbye” on Sunday, June 9, after the worship service. As my final newsletter article, I offer this reflection on a Good Goodbye: what does it mean, why is it important?

A “Good Goodbye” is an intentional process of departure with a goal of saying “goodbye” well. It involves both a mindset and actual activities and practices. Because we move around a lot, interim ministers are well equipped to mentor congregations in a Good Goodbye anytime anyone --- staff, congregants, or the interim minister themself --- leaves the community. A Good Goodbye supports ending a relationship on a positive note, agreeing on clearly defined terms for that ending, providing a chance for mutual expressions of gratitude for the relationship (even for times which were less than positive), and initiating a clear process of letting go. This concept of intentional goodbye has applications far beyond congregational life: it can be helpful in any personal or professional relationship.

Effective closing is part and parcel of an interim minister’s role, to such as extent that the compendium of essays about interim ministry which I recommended when I arrived at UUFD, In the Interim, edited by Rev. Keith Kron (director of UUA Transitions Office), includes an article called “Bringing an Interim Ministry to a Successful Conclusion,” by UU interim ministers Fran Dew and Martha Munson. You may want to check out their ideas.

Here let me highlight a few of their reflections on the benefits of a Good Goodbye. For one, trust and appreciation expressed through a Good Goodbye create a very good set-up for a Good Hello of the person following, in whatever role. As Dew and Munson wrote, a good closing by an interim is “harbinger of the success of the next settled minister” (p. 138). It is one of our responsibilities as interims to model this invaluable skill for the congregation. I am so grateful for the positive spirit of UUFD in its relationship with professional clergy as I prepare to end my ministry, compared to the rather tough beginning we had getting acquainted when I arrived in August 2022. Back then, on top of emerging after covid, my arrival marked UUFD’s fourth minister within eight months: this congregation hardly had time for intentional goodbyes of so many ministers! Further, positive leave-taking of a current interim ministry could provide closure for previous leave-takings which did not go so well (p. 146) or which were not formally recognized. A good parting in the present could help mend hurts or disappointments still lingering from the past.

Our Capacity to say goodbye well is a sign that the congregation has done good transitioning to define its currently identity and its visions for the future. UUFD has done good work, especially during this second year of the interim. It’s time for both of us --- you the congregation and me the interim minister --- to move on.

Additionally, any leave-taking in congregational life surely comes with a range of feelings, not only for the community who remains but also for the minister (interim, targeted, settled, retired, etc.) who is moving on. This is only natural. Saying goodbye can be challenging, especially in religious life whose core purpose is to promote love, compassion, and community. I admit it, leave-taking with people I’ve come to love and respect is not easy for me. However, because we interims do leave-taking fairly regularly, perhaps we can offer some modeling for others. Leave- taking is a discipline that can be practiced.

June 9 is designated as Good Goodbye Sunday. I can tell you what I know…. We will have worship service and faith formation as usual during the 10 o’clock hour. Rather than adjourning from the sanctuary immediately after the service ends, I’m told that we’ll remain there for about twenty minutes, but the nature of that time together remains a mystery (!) to me [the Transition Team is cooking up something]. After the mystery is revealed, we will adjourn to the UUFD patio or Bowman Hall for an all-congregation potluck lunch, organized by the Membership Team.

Finally, during the first three worship services in June, when I am the preacher, I will explain the covenants which will shape our ministry of absence starting together August 1, when Rev. Jaime Boyce becomes your minister of record.

As we move forward anticipating our Good Goodbye, I remain in community and love.

Rev Barbara

President's Message

I’m excited as we begin the next phase of our congregational life, but will miss Rev Barbara’s sharp, sometimes even unwelcome, perspective of how we could make things better. It took me a bit to realize she meant to make things better for all of us, not just the minister or

leadership, but the congregation as well. We were unprepared for the hard questions she had to ask.

There were so many things we were trying to work through on our own. When Rev Barbara arrived, we were still working through the congregational conflict we experienced at the same time we lost our first called minister. We were coming out of the pandemic and relearning what it meant to walk together as a congregation. The Listening Circles our Health Congregation Committee facilitated helped as an outlet for the pain and loss we were experiencing but did little to resolve the underlying issues for many of us.

Rev Barbara arrived at a time when we were ill prepared to support anyone, let alone a

new interim minister. Procedures and policies were inadequate, it was difficult, if not

impossible, for someone new to determine our organization, leadership structure and how to get things done, even supplies for accomplishing the most basic office tasks were insufficient. Six months after she arrived, we were still dealing with administrative issues rather than engaging in an interim path. We worked hard together and with her help got back on track.

The things that stand out are the Circles of Trust, the Reparation & Repair readings and discussions with assistance from the Transition Team, the emphasis on leadership development that most recently led to the way we elect and choose our board members and officers, and the focus on our identity that was so aptly presented by the Ministerial Search Committee’s work. We are indeed a congregation that says Yes!

In addition, we are in the midst of creating a congregational covenant, although much

more work needs to be done before its adoption. Plus, Rev Barbara helped us realize and accomplish a lot of little, or not so little things depending on your perspective. It includes not all change is to be feared and can serve all of us. That UUA has resources which can help us understand ourselves and support us when we have issues. We have learned together what shared ministry can look like and what the minister’s role can be. We’ve set up a new team to support our music ministry and see the need for an ongoing ministerial support team. The roles of all teams and committees have been reviewed and realigned where needed to ensure they best serve our congregation. There is much more.

So, with deep gratitude I thank Rev. Barbara for her interim ministry. I have one request and recommendation for her, wherever you are and whatever you do, please smile more! And finally, when you think of us, please smile then too.

In gratitude and respect,

Steve Govreau

Love courageously. Inspire spiritual growth. Work for justice.

The next UUFD Board Business Meeting is Thursday, June 27th. For the agenda and a Zoom link click here.

June News from Faith Formation

Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity. Ours is a culture that measures our worth as human beings by our efficiency, our earnings, our ability to perform this or that. The cult of productivity has its place, but worshiping at its altar daily robs us of the very capacity for joy and wonder that makes life worth living

~Maria Popova

Do you remember a summer where the pace slowed to leisurely and lazy? When the choices might be between going fishing or reading a good book on a chaise lounge under a shady tree? Summers no longer seem that way. Instead, it’s the packed vacation with the must-see destinations and must-do activities. It’s all the family and friends filled with graduations, christenings, and weddings. It’s go, go, go, and then going back to work is a relief because of its routine and less manic pace.

Soul Matters for June, whose theme is renewal, invites us to take a pause and to value rest as much as we value productivity. If the proverb “you cannot pour from an empty pitcher” is true, now is the time to refill yours.

Summer Fun Is RAD

We have such fun activities planned for the kids each Sunday over the summer whose theme is RECREATION AND DONUTS (RAD). Every single Sunday between Memorial Day and Labor Day has an activity to inspire the kids of UUFD. Families, we hope to see you and your kids for as many of these Sundays as you can manage.

• June 2, Pottery Party Part 1 with Potter Trenton Wann. A chance to play with mud with no one yelling at you for getting dirty!
• June 9, Paper Cranes. Sharon and new teacher, Elise Lopez, will lead this origami day to create these symbols of peace and hope.
• June 16, come Skateboard with UUFD favorite, Jeff Hamner. Bring your own and use one of our loaners.
• June 23 is Sportsapalooza day with Tom Miller. Play games and build skills in soccer, base(whiffle)ball, (whiffle)golf or basketball.
• June 30 is Pottery Party, Part 2. It’s glaze craze time! You get to use whatever glaze color(s) you like for your pottery piece.
• July 7 is Playful Paper Craft with Teresa Jordan. Create a fun bookmark, treat container and/or greeting card to use yourself or to gift to another.
• July 14 is Pine Song. We hope you can join us there for this fun, annual retreat. Registration Required (click here),
• July 21 is Freaking Frisbee with Mike Trefry. Try your hand at golf frisbee and score moves on your opponents.
• July 28 is Dungeons and Dragons with Jarrad Maiers. Dip your toe into the fantastical D&D role playing world: explore, gather treasure and knowledge.
• August 4 is a Wild Waterworks Day with Tom Haffnor where Good Wet Fun will be in play.
• August 11 is Garden Exploration with Master Gardner Aline Schwob
• August 18 is Cookie Attack with Lisa McCorry. Bake, eat, and take some home.
• August 25 is Audacious Art with Margaret Pacheco and Bonnie Miller. Chalk painting, watercolor, graffiti posters...take your pick and let your imagination soar!

Coming in June:  Introduction to Meditation

Many of us find ourselves so busy and involved with all that life requires of us that we may feel as though we've become a human doing rather than a human being. If this describes you, this introduction to meditation practices may be for you. Those who practice meditation find the practice helps them be more focused, calm, and able to handle the stresses of daily life, and more in touch with that intangible something that makes us our best selves. 

We will meet June 10, 17, and 24 from 6:00 to 7:30. If the weather is warm enough, we'll meet on the patio next to the sanctuary; otherwise, we will meet in Columbine House. The Meditation Book is available in paperback or e-book format.  For a link to registration, or with questions, reach out to Sharon.    

Personal Faith Development –Explore the Gifts of Renewal  

Do you walk, perhaps counting those steps or exercising your dog? How about trying a weird walk to renew that sense of play that we too often lose as adults. Watch for the

unusual—patterns in tree bark or interesting people at the park or something about rafters on the Animas River or whatever is weird an interesting to you. The purpose of this is to encourage your sense of play, help you to be more present and observant (instead of thinking about the stuff that requires your attention when you’re finished), and inspire your creativity. In short, the stuff we like to gain from a walk if we take the time to be fully present for it.

“To be a people of renewal is to ask not simply, “How do I refresh?” but also “How do I return?” The challenge of life is not just about moving forward but moving forward without losing touch with all we have held dear.” ~ Rev. Scott Tayler

Join us for Our Summer Series 2024!

"Heartfelt Lessons Through Life's Transitions"

This month, we begin our Summer Series, eight different weekly pulpit speakers with a variety of life stories and illustrations of lessons they have learned and/or applied as a result of transitions in their lives.

The series begins on June 30 with Jane Jaber, who will address “The Power of Belief: A Healing Journey on the Road Less Traveled”. Jane’s story of personal healing is profound and deeply meaningful. Through her holistic approach, she illuminates the path to reclaiming her health, offering invaluable wisdom gained along the way.

Jane has called Durango home since 2002. After raising and launching two wonderful children, she and her husband are adjusting to their new role as “empty nesters”. A lifelong hairstylist, Jane now partners with women in midlife embarking on their own journey of self- discovery. Her mission is to empower women to live authentically, joyfully, and purposefully, proving that the most radiant transformations happen from within.

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The remaining Summer Series speakers will be featured in the newsletter the month they are speaking. Their dates and topics are as follows:

• July 7: Heidi Steltzer, “We and the Climate Future are Open to Possibility”
• (July 12-14: COME TO THE PINE SONG RETREAT!!!)
• July 21: Judy Hook, “Logic, Emotion, and Intuition: A Search for Balance”
• July 28: Judith Reynolds, “Memorable Anniversaries: Burger King, one Mountain, twin Colonoscopies”
• August 4: Mary Ocken, “A Calling Walk”
• August 11: Frank Lockwood, “Meaning, Aging, and Courage in Today’s World”
• August 18: Florence (Flo) Gaia, “Can You Hear Your Authentic Soul Voice?”
• August 25: Becky Malecki, “Nature and the Human Spirit”

Transitions are a time for reflection and a time for looking forward. As UUFD looks forward through our fellowship transitions, perhaps our Summer Speakers will provide even more food for thought for your own personal reflections.

Good Goodbye Picnic and Potluck!

“Good Good-Bye” Program and Picnic Potluck, 11:00 am, June 9, UUFD sanctuary and patio. Join us in saying “Good-bye” to our Interim Minister Rev. Dr. Barbara Coeyman and to express gratitude for our work together over the past two years which prepared our congregation to call a settled minister. A picnic potluck celebration will follow a brief program acknowledging the accomplishments of our interim ministry. Add your name and food item to the potluck sign-up sheet in the sanctuary on June 2. For info on the program, contact Tom Miller, Transition Team Lead at tommiller1945@gmail.com.

Attend the 2024 General Assembly!

The UUA Virtual General Assembly is June 20-23, 2024. The Board is supporting a limited number of members who want to participate. Three members credentialed as delegates will be reimbursed up to $400, and an additional six additional members will be reimbursed $100 each for general participation at the GA. Click this link for more information about the program, participating as a delegate, and to register. Rev. Barbara has also offered to give delegate mentoring support as needed. Please contact president@durangouu.org if you wish to be credentialed as a delegate or be reimbursed as a general participant.

I'm Hearing Talk About a Fellowship Hall, What's Going on?

Since getting back to more ‘normal’ use of Bowman Hall...special dinners, celebrations,

receptions, in addition to social hour post-worship services...more comments are being made again about the inadequacy of the Fellowship Hall space for the size and need of our congregation. Pre-Covid, multiple meetings and conversations within the fellowship about facilities identified the desire for a larger Fellowship Hall as a top priority. That desire is re-emerging today.

The Fellowship Hall Task Force is also re-emerging in order to help us process this possibility. The main questions are: what are our needs and what can we afford? The FHTF will begin again to gather information, tapping work previously done, and checking into new ideas and options. Our intention is to get as clear an understanding as possible about what options we might have for our facilities that enhances our use of them, along with a realistic picture of our assets that could be tapped for this purpose. All this information would then be assimilated and shared with the congregation to talk about what makes sense to do or not do.

No decisions have been made by the task force or the Board...the congregation will be

responsible to draw conclusions and decide after taking a deep look at the information the task forces is able to assemble.

For questions or comments, contact John Redemske redemskeja@gmail.com