Wayland Middle School  Newsletter December 10, 2018

MARK YOUR CALENDAR! Concerts: 12/13 - Grades 7, 8 and 9-12 Chorus Concert (at WHS) 12/17 - Grades 7, 8 and 9-12 Orchestra Concert (at WHS) 12/20 - 6th Grade Band, Orchestra, & Chorus Concert (at WMS) All Grades: 12/12 - Chinese Food Festival, 2:00 - 3:30 pm 12/14 - Q2 Progress Reports 12/24 to 1/1 - Holiday Recess 1/2 - Classes Resume 7th Grade: 1/24 - Cape Cod Trip Parent Information Night (7:00pm)

Message from Principal Gavron

I have often heard the expression that you are only as happy as your unhappiest child. My lived experience has found the phrase to be spot on. Our children’s lives are fraught with the ups and downs of adolescence, and like it or not we often find ourselves along for the roller coaster ride. Tears over a disappointing grade, a slight by a “friend,” or being cut from a team tear at our heartstrings - even second hand. We want what is best for our children, and it is hard to watch them experience the inevitable struggles of growing up. While disappointment and emotional pain is a necessary part of the journey and we need to help them build resilience in these moments, it isn’t easy. I recently had a friend send me an article about a new term and trend I had not heard before - “Lawnmower Parenting.” This term describes a well-intentioned parent who (consciously or subconsciously) wants to try to rush ahead and prevent children from struggling or dealing with any potential inconvenience, problem, or discomfort. While wanting one’s child to be happy is a universal human emotion, removing all obstacles to prevent struggle or unhappiness is ultimately detrimental. I have seen glimmers of this style as parents have brought into the office forgotten instruments, homework, or even a cup of hot tea that the parent expects to be delivered to a child (preferably while still hot). I have seen it (more and more frequently) as parents are writing emails to teachers explaining that their child does not understand a homework assignment rather than helping the child use their resources or reach out directly to the teacher himself or herself and learn the life skill of self-advocating. Heck, I have even done it myself in a weak moment. For example, recently my son had a project to do, and I had not realized our home color printer was out of ink. Despite having managed his time well and having prepped all of the work, come print time he was coming up blank. I felt guilty and I went into work the next day, printed his google doc, and found myself actually starting to slice up photos on the paper cutter, so he wouldn’t be behind. Imagine my chagrin when his teacher walked in and saw me at the paper cutter. She gently reminded me that my son could be doing that in her room with her paper cutter. I explained our printing fiasco and my ensuing guilt. She told me that my son is always welcome to email her with a problem and she could help him print here at school. I saw how our amazing teachers are always ready to support students through challenges. While at the core of my being I knew that, and would have been the first to advocate for it, in the moment I had felt responsible for his upset having neglected to replenish our ink. To assuage my parental guilt I had picked up the lawnmower and tried to mow down that obstacle rather than see it as an opportunity to help him strategize a way forward. The teacher kindly scooped up the photos and my son went on to “catch up” in study hall and complete his project on time. I returned to the many things on my own to do list and made a personal commitment not to make that mistake again. I am fully convinced that being a parent is the toughest job you’ll ever have and none of us, myself included, will get it right every day. What we can do is commit to being willing to try to embrace challenges when they occur and see obstacles as opportunities for growth so we don’t inadvertently do more harm than good. University professor Karen Facher in her blogpost “The Rise of the Lawnmower Parent” identified some long term detrimental effects to a child when ”lawnmower parenting” is the default. The child: “becomes poorly equipped to deal with routine growing and learning experiences. This includes everything from asking for directions and dealing with an annoying roommate to much broader skills like communicating with superiors, negotiating for something she wants and coping with disappointment. doesn’t develop a sense of personal motivation or drive, since she only knows how to follow the path that the Lawnmower Parent has already prepared. can’t make a decision, big or small, without the guidance of others. constantly receives the message that she isn’t good enough to do this herself. In essence, the Lawnmower Parent is repeatedly demonstrating to the child that she cannot be trusted to accomplish things on her own.” I know that none of us would wish that on our children. In order to develop independent, resilient problem solvers we must come to terms with the fact that we can’t anticipate and prevent all upset or ultimately be the fixer when it occurs. Instead we can be empathetic listeners when our children are worried or upset. We can normalize their feelings and share stories of our own about having had similar experiences growing up, so they don’t feel like something is wrong with them for struggling or so all alone in their pain. We can also rehearse or read over a communication our child has written to a teacher or coach. And, we can be the cheerleaders to celebrate new skills when our child has stepped out of his or her comfort zone ultimately solved a problem. Middle school is a perfect time to have children practice facing the challenges head on, as there is plenty of angst to go around while the stakes are still low. When you are really worried and unsure if your child’s worry or upset is at an unhealthy level, know that you should reach out and we are here to problem solve with you - ultimately with the intent of helping your child work towards independence. I certainly don’t have a magic wand, nor do I have all of the answers, but I can promise to partner with you to try to see a path forward without mowing down all the opportunities for growth in the process. Respectfully, Betsy Gavron ‌

Current News & Announcements

Holiday Travel Absences If your family's holiday travel plans involve your child missing school on either side of the break,  please  remember to notify the school. There is no need to wait until the day of the absence, you can send notice as early as you'd like. We have two notification methods to choose from:  By email:  [email protected]   By phone: 508-358-3801  ( Select Option 1 )

Lost & Found Deadline: Friday, December 21 2:30PM Please have your child check for missing items in our Lost & Found, or come and take a look for yourself!  Unclaimed items will be donated to charity (to the Wayland Schools' PTO Green Team Textile Recycling Project) at 2:30 PM, Friday, December 21st, as is our custom prior to each of the school breaks (December, February, April and June).

PTO News

Contact: [email protected]

Gift Your Child Results

We are so thrilled that we collected over $26,000 in donations from Gift Your Child this year.  This is an increase of 48% in participation and 30% in dollars over last year!  Woot, woot! We were only 12 donations shy of our target of 300 donations.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to all! We will be kicking off our grant process to the staff next week and they are sure to be delighted!  Any last minute donations are welcome and please don’t forget about your employer matching programs.  Donate to Gift Your Child Here ! Other Parent Checklist Items Register in our opt-in, online family directory, My School Anywhere. Access contact information for everyone within the Wayland Public School system online or through an app. You must register to be included.  Like our Facebook Page. We will include weekly updates here, but additional details, photos and videos are shared on Facebook. Stay in the loop!  Check out other ways to support our school. Register for Stop & Shop Rewards, Amazon Smile, collect Box Tops, use our Green Team textiles recycling. Help our school by doing what you do every day!

Sign Up for Staff Appreciation Dessert Bar! Dec 17, Drop Off 7-10 am Front Office As you plan your own holiday baking, please make an extra batch for our staff at WMS.  The PTO is arranging a Holiday Dessert Bar as a staff appreciation event on Mon, December 17th.  Drop off your item to the front office anytime before 10 am. Make a homemade treat or something unique to your family or heritage.  Write a note to share what the treat means to you. A special treat for our special staff! Sign up here: https://www.signupgenius.com/go/30E0F45A9A92F4-staff ‌

It's Time for our Annual Holiday Gift Drive  It's Not Too Late to Donate! Did you know that many of the more expensive remaining gifts from the WMS PTO's holiday gift drive were the only thing asked for by the kids who live at Wayside Youth & Family Support Network long-term, because of neglect, abuse, or trauma? It's the time of year when so much generosity is shown to so many little kids—Here's your chance to make the holidays brighter by donating a gift to someone at an age that's often overlooked! To Donate : http://waylandpto.org/middle-school-pto/gift-drive-2018 Problems with shipping? Have your gift delivered to your home, then drop it at the WMS PTO box, and we will deliver it just before Christmas. Thank you for your generosity! *All gifts are tax deductible.*

Middle & More Coffee: Parent Seminars

7th & 8th Grade Parent Check-In with Cluster Leaders Dec. 11, 8:45 - 9:45 am WMS Library We will be joined by the Cluster Leaders and Ms. Gavron. Topics can include curriculum overview for the 7/8th grade year, school-sponsored trips, social and emotional learning and academic expectations. This is primarily a time for parent Q & A. ‌

Artist of the Week

 Artist: Luke Caples and Leighton Quinn Grade: 8 Medium: Packing Tape

Important Information from Earlier eBlasts...

Chinese Food Festival All are Welcome! WMS Cafeteria Wednesday, December 13, 2:00 - 3:30 pm Our 7th and 8th grade Chinese Language students are happy to present our fifth annual Chinese Food Festival. It is an afternoon filled with authentic food and student performances. We hope you can join us!

Looking For a Way to Acknowledge a Special Teacher or Staff Member? HATS Off is the Answer! Deadline: Friday, December 14th Making a donation to the Wayland Public Schools Foundation is a perfect way to say “Thank You!” to a special teacher or staff member this holiday season! For over 30 years, the Wayland Public Schools Foundation (WPSF) has supported teachers by funding classroom innovations and creative units of study that are not covered by the school budget. Every donation to the HATS Off campaign helps to ensure the continued availability of these valuable resources for our teachers and staff. It is a great way to show your appreciation this time of year! When you make a donation to HATS Off, each teacher or staff member you designate will receive a personalized HATS Off certificate that will include your very own message of thanks. The donation amount, however, will not be disclosed. Visit the WPSF website  here  to donate and personalize your HATS Off certificate today! The deadline is Friday, December 14th. Donations are tax deductible and may qualify for matching gifts at participating companies.

Private School Application Process While we hope you are enjoying your experiences with Wayland Public Schools, we also know that some families will choose to apply to private schools as an alternative educational option. Please be sure to carefully follow the process outlined HERE to ensure a timely, quality processing of your child’s application to private school.

MCAS DATES MCAS dates for WMS are now available. Please mark your calendars! If at all possible, we ask you to avoid scheduling appointments for your child on his or her testing dates. Many thanks!  6th Grade ELA: April 1 & 2 Math: May 6 & 7 7th Grade ELA: April 8 & 9 Math: May 9 & 10 8th Grade ELA: April 25 & 26 Math: April 29 & 30 STE: May 2 & 3

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