Waiting Patiently
“Patience is not passive waiting. Patience is the active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams.”
-Ray Davis
Last week I was talking with a corporate client about being patient with direct reports who were in the process of skill building. It does require us to remember that those who are on the skills building trajectory are not where we are from a development and experience perspective, and we must manage expectations accordingly. That session was followed by an Advanced class in which the topic of discussion was developing others from a skill/will perspective. We had a lively discussion about working with individuals on this continuum and ended with the understanding that patience is required no matter what quadrant the direct report was in. The depth of thinking on this topic brought the group back to how important developing patience with self and others is to growth and development.
Defining Patience
Patience is a virtue often defined as the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset. It involves maintaining composure and a positive attitude in the face of challenges, difficulties, or situations that require time and perseverance. Patience is valuable in various aspects of life, including relationships, work, and personal development. Cultivating patience can lead to better decision-making, improved problem-solving, and increased resilience. It allows individuals to navigate through setbacks and obstacles with a calm and collected mindset. Practicing patience is a skill that can be developed over time, and it often contributes to long-term success and well-being.
Patience and delay of gratification
In a fast-paced world, where instant gratification is often emphasized, the ability to exercise patience can be particularly beneficial. It's important to recognize that different situations may require different levels of patience, and finding a balance is key to maintaining a healthy and productive approach to challenges. Walter Mischel, best known for his work on delayed gratification, conducted the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment. His research highlighted the ability to delay immediate rewards for greater future gains, emphasizing the importance of self-control and patience. Although the study was conducted with four-year-olds, it begs the question of whether we can wait and how we wait for what we want as adults.
As referenced above, a major component of patience is the ability to delay gratification. Delay of gratification is a psychological concept that refers to the ability to resist the temptation of an immediate reward in preference for a larger or more significant reward that will come at a later time. This concept is often associated with self-discipline, impulse control, and the capacity to make decisions that prioritize long-term goals over short-term desires. Understanding and cultivating the ability to delay gratification is considered crucial for various aspects of personal development, success, and well-being. It plays a role in areas such as academic achievement, career success, financial management, and maintaining healthy relationships. Strategies for improving delay of gratification often involve developing self-awareness, setting clear goals, and practicing mindfulness to manage impulses effectively.
Benefits of Developing Patience
Several well-known authors have included the importance of developing patience in their work. Angela Duckworth in “Grit” shares that the role of perseverance and passion for long-term goals is related to patience as patience, combined with passion, is a key factor in achieving success. Martin Seligman, a pioneer in positive psychology, discusses the concept of time perspective, which includes the ability to balance present and future concerns. Developing a balanced time perspective involves cultivating patience for delayed rewards. Seligman shares that when we slow down, we create an opportunity for our executive function to do more effective planning, refining, and revisions to options. Finally, Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist known for his research on self-regulation, builds upon the concept of ego depletion, suggesting that self-control is a finite resource and that we have to be efficient in the use of willpower to change behaviors. Understanding how patience interacts with self-control is crucial for changing behavior over time.
What to Do While Waiting?
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Congratulations to Dr. Ursula Clidiere and Carol Assalian who recently received the Certified Master Business Coach (CMBC) designation.
The first master program graduates!
Thanks so much for paving the way for others!
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