CATT Champion Johanna
I started drinking when I was 14 years old. What started out as the best feeling ever quickly spiraled out of control, and over the next 10 years I demolished my sense of self. When drinking I was trying to turn down the volume of my anxiety, traumas, and self-doubt. I unfortunately am not someone who can do anything “just a little” so when I drank, I drank a lot.
People had used the word “alcoholic” to describe me for years, even without seeing me at my worst. I was in denial for a long time and tried all the usual things to cut back, to no avail. I was forced to reckon with the idea that I might have to stop altogether. That was a terrifying conclusion, because how would I have fun? How would I be fun? (Spoiler: I was neither having fun nor being fun.)
My family played a big part in my decision to finally get and stay sober on February 26, 2016. The first two years of sobriety in Los Angeles were hard – it was like relearning how to be myself. I had to sit with all of these “new” feelings that weren’t actually new, they just hadn’t seen the light of day in years. I realized I didn’t know what kinds of things I liked to do anymore.
A friend suggested I get into social work, and it seemed silly at first, then exciting! I moved to Portland in 2021 with grad school as my goal. I got a job in residential substance use treatment and worked there for a year and a half. I had found my space. I have continued to work with the recovery population as well as folks with mental and behavioral health diagnoses. Currently I’m in school completing my Master of Social Work degree.
I wouldn’t choose this path for myself if I could have a do-over, but it has made me what I am today. And what I am today is a person I am proud of. I know myself much more deeply and truly. I know it is important to choose what I spend time doing and who I choose to spend time doing it with. The CATT will provide that important sense of community for people in all stages of recovery. Having a space with like-minded folks who have been through similar things has been really important for my recovery, and it’s very exciting to have a community like this being built!
Watch Johanna’s inspiring video, recorded as part of Washington County’s recent campaign to reduce stigma around substance use treatment.
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