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April Fools Day, 2026| Kinda Special Edition | Past issues

Charlevoix & Emmet Counties now part of Denmark! USA trades us for Greenland


Charlevoix and Emmet County residents awoke this morning to learn that they are now part of the Kingdom of Denmark.


This was made possible when Denmark worked out an arrangement with President Trump to trade Greenland for Charlevoix and Emmet Counties in Michigan. Greenland and the combined two counties have an equal population of 56,000.


The deal was completed when Trump realized that the northern Michigan counties actually had colder winter temperatures and about the same amount of snow and ice as Greenland. The fact that Charlevoix County has its own isolated island (Beaver Island) was another sweetener that made the deal attractive to Denmark.


President Trump pointed out that the two Michigan counties offered no valuable rare earth mineral deposits and were of little national defense benefit to the USA compared to Greenland.


Officials in the Char-Em counties said they were swayed to approve the deal when Denmark promised to improve substandard 911 service on Beaver Island and to finish all of the broken and incomplete portions of the Little Traverse Wheelway and the Boyne City to Charlevoix Trail. 


As part of the European Union, Char-Em residents will now enjoy free health insurance and free college education, although income taxes will be increased somewhat.

Boyne-City image

Petition proposes renaming Boyne City


By Eric Hall, One Hall of a Story


A local petition circulating this week has sparked a surprising amount of conversation among residents after a Boyne City man proposed changing the city’s name to something he believes better reflects the area’s identity.


The petition was started by Andrew Frederick Doolittle, who says the goal is not to erase history but to modernize the community’s image while keeping the familiar initials “B.C.”


“We’re not trying to reinvent the town,” Doolittle said while collecting signatures outside Lake Street Market on Tuesday afternoon. “We’re simply asking if the name should better reflect what people actually experience when they come here.”


Doolittle has proposed several alternatives that would preserve the B.C. initials, including “Breezy Coast,” “Bluewater Community,” and “Bay Country.”


“People visit for the lake, the air, and the scenery,” Doolittle explained. “Those names capture that feeling a little better.”


However, Doolittle made one point very clear.


“No matter what happens, BC Pizza stays BC Pizza. I’m not a monster.”


The proposal has generated mixed reactions from locals.


“I’ve lived here for more than 50 years,” said longtime resident Marjorie Kellogg. “Boyne City is what everyone knows it as. It’s on the signs, the maps, and every postcard in town. Changing it would certainly be an adjustment.”


Others are more confused by the original name itself.


“I mean, what even is a Boyne?” asked resident Derek Lawson, shrugging while standing outside Alpine Chocolat Haus. “I’ve lived here 20 years and I’ve never actually heard a clear answer. If someone told me it was a type of fish or a French explorer’s cousin, I’d probably believe them.”


Others are more skeptical.


“I’ve lived here my whole life and it’s always been Boyne City,” said Gary Peterson, who was finishing coffee at Lake Charlevoix Coffee Company Tuesday morning. “If they change it, I’m still going to call it Boyne City. That’s just what it is.”


Several residents said their biggest concern would be the logistics.


“Think about all the road signs, the maps, the paperwork,” said Larry Kline, a retired contractor. “That’s a lot of updates for something most people already recognize.”


Local business owners are also watching the discussion with interest.


“Any time a town talks about rebranding, you wonder what it means for the community,” said Donna Hargrove, who owns a gift shop downtown. “If it brings people here and keeps the town vibrant, people will at least listen to the idea.”


One local business that has already weighed in is BC Pizza, which released a short statement after hearing about the petition.


“Regardless of the town name, we will continue serving pizza under the letters BC,” the statement read. “Because changing hundreds of pizza boxes would be extremely inconvenient.”


The discussion has even made its way into the local high school, where some students have begun speculating about what other changes could follow.


“If the town name changes, does that mean the school mascot has to change too?” asked Boyne City High School junior Trevor Jacobs. “Because I think a lot of people would vote for something lake-related. Maybe a giant seagull or something. At least that would make pep rallies interesting.”


Doolittle says he understands the hesitation but believes the conversation itself is worthwhile.


“Communities grow and evolve,” he said. “Sometimes it’s healthy to step back and ask what represents you best.”


The petition has reportedly gathered dozens of signatures so far, though officials say no formal proposal has been submitted to the city commission.


For now, the discussion remains informal — mostly happening in coffee shops, on front porches, and in the checkout lines of local stores.


As resident Chuck Ramsey put it after reading the petition Tuesday afternoon:


“I don’t know if we should change the name,” he said. “But I will say this — it’s the most people I’ve seen talking about Boyne City in the middle of March.”


City officials have not commented on the petition, though several residents noted the timing of the effort as April 1st approaches.


> Eric Hall is the author of One Hall of a Story on Facebook. He is a retired teacher from Cheboygan. When he's not enjoying the perks of retirement, he writes short stories that are equal parts heartwarming and hilarious - kind of like if James Herriot was an elementary school teacher.

Local restaurants placing timers on tables


Starting Memorial Day Weekend, each table in Boyne City restaurants will be equipped with a timer that will be started as soon as your food arrives. You will be given 15 minutes to enjoy your meal.


As soon as the timer hits 00:00, the servers will begin clearing the table in preparation for the next guests.


A social media post explained: “This will help us streamline our operations for when we do get busy. Thank you for your understanding.”


This new policy was recommended by the management consultanting firm that advises the Celina 52 Truck Stop in Tennessee.

Actual foolish news


> A massive 12-ton shipment of KitKat bars is stolen - Story


> “Do you think I’m stupid?” Michigan judge calls out woman seen driving during Zoom court - Story 


> Antrim County woman wins lottery, plans to buy a new mattress - Story

Previous editions of April Foolish News.

 

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