Week 11
The Concept
"Creating Your Life of Compassion"
"Nothing happens until something moves."
- Albert Einstein
Knowing the concepts and practices we have studied over the past months didn't really make much of a difference in my life... until I used them. It is in this area that most of us have our greatest challenge.
This Can Be Hard
As we have discussed previously, many of us are deeply challenged to create new habits and replace our old ones. Our "robot selves" can still be running the show while we struggle to direct our consciousness to a more compassionate place. This can be so challenging that it's easy to give up trying. It's easy to NOT NOTICE that we have slipped off of our barely tread-upon path of awareness, back onto the super highway of judgment, blame and other forms of habitual thought.
In the previous weeks of this course, we have laid the groundwork to create a more compassionate existence. And from that we have an opportunity to build, grow, integrate and refine. We can think of this as a moment of truth.
Judging Can Be Easy
I grew up in a world where judgment was quite normal. I am extremely well practiced at it. I am practiced at thinking that I and others around me SHOULD or SHOULDN'T do certain things, all without checking in with the wisdom of my heart. As I shared with you in Week 3, I grew up in a world where my feelings and needs didn't seem to matter - for years, many years. So if I'm going to create a compassionate life, I am called on to undo, relearn, fail, succeed, fail again and succeed again - striving to give myself and those around me this (at times) elusive gift of compassion.
I believe this is a most important time for us in the course - maybe in our human history - a time when we can start to use our love, inspiration and knowledge to create a more wonderful life.
So what does a compassionate life look like for real?
Starting or Joining a Practice Group
Practice groups range from small in-person gatherings, to phone calls, to being a member of an online community EXACTLY like ours, here in this course. Through repeated, communal practice, we can more readily integrate our learning into real life. By sharing exercises, struggles and successes with one another, we can provide the content and support that helps us develop and use the skills to practice compassion in our daily lives.
You can find online practice groups through our forums - there are over a hundred of them in progress - some may be open to new members who have kept up with the course.
Getting an Empathy Buddy
The main purpose of an empathy "buddyship" is to simply give and receive empathy, to make it a regular practice in life. A way I have seen many successful buddyships start is to find someone who you feel has the same skill level and has a similar learning/growing ability as you do. Then start with a single call or session. Give one another feedback about what worked and what you would like to have experienced differently. Then, see if you would like to have a second go, then a third and so forth until you can both comfortably agree to buddy up. Then, choose a mutually agreeable time to speak every week.
The amount of time you spend on these calls may vary. However, you may want to plan on at least forty-five minutes to an hour. The idea is to "exchange" empathy with both taking a turn providing empathy for the other. In my experience, a one-sided empathy buddyship will not last. It's important to have mutuality for sustainability. After 16 years, I still check in with my buddies about our sense of mutuality.
Having Empathy Medics
Your "buddy" is there for you during your empathy calls, but may be unavailable at other times. Having at least 2 "empathy medics" can provide the extra support and relief you may need to live more compassionately.
Trainings and Workshops
Trainings and workshops are a wonderful way to renew and deepen our practice. Living, learning and practicing in community is a powerful and often transformative experience. The synergistic affect of others, the sustained experience, practice and support of our kindred spirits create a unique and intensive experience that can be highly supportive of our growth and practice.
