Week 21
The Concept
"Giving Thanks - Appreciation from the Heart"
As I have worked toward living a more connected and compassionate life, I have developed an ability that I can only describe as a "mega-life-changer". It is my ability to appreciate in a newer and deeper way. It affects almost every moment of every day and changes how I experience the people and events that make up my life.
The Anatomy of Appreciation
What is it when something happens and we just want to say "Thanks"? What is happening inside of us? As a student of compassionate thought and action, I have learned that three things are happening in these moments.
First, something just happened (or is happening). Somebody said something or did something, or there was/is some event in our lives. You could say that there is an "observation" that goes with everything we appreciate. For example, when I woke up this morning, I was warm. I noticed my fuzzy blanket, my soft warm pillow and the quiet, reassuring morning light peeking through the curtains.
Second, I felt something. In my experience (which has been enriched by my practice of feeling feelings), I always feel some "fulfilled feeling". In the case of my blanket, my pillow and the morning light, I was feeling a sense of comfort, gratitude and hope.
Third, a need is met. In the case of my blanket, and my pillow, it was security and comfort. In the case of the morning light, it was hope, support and communion.
It is the noticing of these three things that gives me the ability to be in a deeply connected and grateful place.
In this course so far, we have studied and practiced "observation" and "self-empathy", both of which enable us to recognize these three aspects of our experience. So from this moment on, we can use these skills and practices to change how we experience our lives. More good news - the more skilled and practiced we get at this, the more we will connect with the beauty and fun of being alive. Really.
Sharing Appreciation
We can share this skill and awareness with others who may not be practicing it as consciously as we are, yet are still having the same wonderful kind of lives we are. Sharing our appreciation can be profound, like when we share our appreciation with a parent or loved one. It can also be simple, like when we share our appreciation with a customer service person at a store or on the phone. From experience I can tell you, it's always fun.
A little example - The other day I was in my local "Home Center Megamart", the kind that's so big, I would like to have a bicycle to get around in it. A woman who worked there asked me if she could help. I told her I was looking for an electrical outlet for my dryer. She walked me straight to it (the event or observation).
I realized that I could have been looking for that thing for a reeeeally long time, if it were not for her help (feeling gratitude, needs met for ease, efficiency and support).
So I said, "Thanks. You just saved me a good ten or fifteen minutes. I could have been wandering all over looking for this." She responded with a look of pleasant surprise and a smile so wide, I thought she might hurt her face. It was so rewarding to share that little moment - little and yet quite beautiful.
More to come, as the Compassion Course continues...