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Week 51
The 2020 Compassion Course Online
Thom Bond - Japanese Maple
With Thom Bond

Founder and Director of Education,


Week 51

The Concept

"Compassion As a Spiritual Practice"
 
Note: As I write this, I'm noticing some trepidation in me - some concern about acceptance, and being seen and understood. My intention in writing this is to share my opening and discovery. I don't claim to know "the truth". I am simply sharing some ideas, without expectation or instruction - one account of one human experience, with the hope that it may contribute to you in some way. I invite you to share any response you may have.

It seems that most everyone has a different idea of what the word "spiritual" means. For some, it is the connection to the unknown, a higher power or being, or the divine. For others, it is the connection to one's self. And to yet others, it is the connection to all things.

And so it seems, spirituality is defined universally as a connection to something - the key word being connection. For me personally, I have come to define spirituality as the experience of connecting to life, which includes all of the above.  

Connection to the Divine

My friend and mentor Marshall Rosenberg used the term "Beloved Divine Energy" to refer to the energy of "life" itself. In his words, "I connect with this energy when I connect to human beings..."

Connection to Self and Others

We could say a spiritual existence is one where we get close to what works for us and stay away from what does not (see Week 26). For years, this concept seemed to me to be too simple. As I have practiced compassion, this concept has become more and more meaningful to me.

This simple idea calls on me to self-empathize and consciously connect to my needs. When I nurture myself by nurturing my life energy (needs), I have found, time after time, that I become curious and inspired to nurture it in others. Alternatively, when I experience dis-connection from the life in me, I experience disconnection from the life in others.

The simple practice of seeing my needs gives me a basis to see my actions and the actions of others with compassion. By seeing my own needs and the needs of others, I have a path to compassion even for people (including myself) who have done things that I dislike or even detest. I have a way to see the disconnection from life energy as a tragic event, not an "evil act" or something that is "wrong".

Through the lens of needs, I always have a way to choose compassion.

Connecting to the Artist through Their Art

The more I practice living in an awareness of the energy of life, the more I feel a connection to that which I cannot see or even conceive of - what I call the source. I am certain that I do not understand the nature of the universe. To my mind, there is surely something going on here that is beyond my comprehension - yet, it is not necessarily beyond my experience.

Through my practice of compassion, I increase my experience of the energy of life. Every time I create or facilitate a connection within myself or between human beings, I can feel the partnership with, and an appreciation for, the energy inside every one of us. In the same way that I can appreciate the beauty of a painting without meeting the artist, I can appreciate the gift of life without knowing the source of it.

Although I have never met Picasso or Monet, I am grateful to them for the gift of beauty that I receive when I experience their art. Through my appreciation of the gift of life, I can feel a similar sense of gratitude in every waking moment.

Spirituality as Action

One of my colleagues recently encouraged me to ask myself what my relationship to life energy is. Am I its son? Its father? Its friend? Its lover?

I love this question because it helps me think about my role (or roles) in relationship to my life energy and all the life energy around me.

Personally, I have found that I can be a friend to life - all life, in me - in you. As a friend to life, I often ask myself, "What can I do to contribute to you?" or "What can I do to expand and express my appreciation for the things I have been given?" The more I study and practice compassion, the more I can answer these questions.

In my awareness of life (feelings and needs), I can inform my actions (requests) to bring harmony, alignment and friendship to my life - mutual love and support. My compassion begets the "actions" of a spiritual existence. Sweet.
In Practice

"The Missing Piece"

As a child growing up, I was introduced to spirituality through a church. In fact, my grandfather was a minister. Back then, it was explained to me that there was a big gray-haired personage, sitting on a throne, who was in charge of everything. This same personage created a bunch of rules for me to follow - things that I "should" and "shouldn't" do. And somehow, a certain group of people were in charge of distributing these rules and making sure I followed them. Although I believed this story at first, somehow it never felt right. I spent much of my life confused about this.

I spent many years trying to understand what the meaning of life really was. What was my purpose? Where did I come from? Why am I here? By the time I left college (as a philosophy major) it had become clear to me that I wasn't going to figure these things out with the information that was available to me. I stopped trying.

In 2001, I read the book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg. In this book, I learned that I could choose to see all human actions as an attempt to fulfill our needs. This really resonated with me. I also learned that I could see "needs" as life. Over time, I realized that when I was "in service" to life (needs), I got a deep sense of satisfaction and meaning. I was instinctively drawn to the practice of consciously serving life. I had found a way to be connected to my life in a meaningful, internally sourced way.

Ironically, I found myself interested in doing many of the things I had been told I "should" do earlier in life. Only this time, it was coming from a deep connection to what I "wanted" to do - What fulfilled me.

I can see now, it was the internal connection to my life energy that was the missing piece all those years before. I was being told to look outside of myself when I was searching for guidance, wisdom and the source of love. And all the time, it was inside me, just waiting to be found.
Practice(s) for the Week

Practice #1 - Appreciating Life

This exercise works well if done in solitude, with one or more objects to bring some beauty to the space (a candle, some incense, a picture of someone you love, a flower, or anything else that brings you a sense of beauty). First, write down 10 things that life is giving you right now. For example, these things might be people, air, a beating heart, comfort, love, food in your stomach, your stomach, your eyes, your sense of smell, your nose, your brain, your mother, your children, your ability to think or read... and so forth.

Then write down all the different needs that these things meet.

Next, read through your two lists (things and needs).

Finally, close your eyes and scan your body. If you feel some appreciation, simply say or think, "Thank you." Read through your list again and repeat this process for 2 or 3 minutes. Notice what happens inside you.

Practice #2 - Contributing to Life

Over the next week, create at least one way, each day, to consciously contribute to life.

This can be donating money to a life-serving organization, watering a plant, opening a door for someone, smiling at a child (or an adult), telling someone to "keep the change", removing a bug from your home instead of killing it, giving someone flowers or their favorite treat, eating something that is healthy, telling someone what you appreciate about who they are or what they have done (see Weeks 20 and 21 for this last one).

Notice that you are serving life. Notice what happens inside you.
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